Justyna MajewskaAbout the Author:

Justyna Majewska was born on March 30, 1988, and lives in Siewierz, Poland. She is a cook by profession and writes about important social issues based on her own experiences. She experienced stuttering for most of her life and now speaks much more fluently, although those experiences remain an important part of her story. In her writing, she explores what often goes unheard: the tension before speaking, the fear of other people’s reactions, and the consequences of judging someone by the way they speak. She is also the creator of a social awareness initiative focused on people who stutter. Her goal is to raise public awareness and show that every person who stutters may have different needs. She believes that the most important things we can offer are attention, patience, respect, and a willingness to ask rather than assume what kind of support another person needs.

I do not remember the day I started stuttering.
I remember an entire life shaped by it.

I do not remember every word that became trapped somewhere between thought and sound. I remember the faces waiting on the other side. Some were patient. Some were confused. Some looked away. Some tried to rescue me from the silence before I had decided whether I wanted to be rescued.

For almost forty years, I believed that stuttering was the greatest problem in my life. I imagined another version of myself, one who spoke fluently and therefore moved through the world without fear. She would be braver. She would answer quickly. She would apply for better jobs, speak in groups, meet new people, defend herself, tell jokes without calculating the first sound, and say what she meant before the moment passed.

I spent years trying to become her.

Today I speak much more fluently. Some people might say that my stutter has gone. I know it has not disappeared; it has changed shade.

That is my answer to this year’s question: my stuttering is not one colour. It has been loud and visible, but it has also been quiet and hidden. It has lived in repetitions, blocks, tension, and words that refused to begin. It has also lived in anticipation, in the decision not to call, in a sentence redesigned before anyone heard it, and in the relief of reaching the end without being discovered.

Sometimes stuttering can be heard. Sometimes it lives only inside the person who is preparing to speak.

This is why fluency does not always mean freedom. A person may sound fluent while still choosing every word around fear. A conversation can appear ordinary while an entire strategy is unfolding beneath it: avoid that name, change that order, pretend you forgot, laugh, point, nod, let somebody else answer. Silence can look like shyness, politeness, lack of knowledge, or lack of interest. Sometimes silence is simply a person trying to survive the distance between knowing and saying.

For years, I believed that other people were judging my intelligence before I finished my first sentence. Often, they were.

Our world seems to reward speed. Fluent speech is confused with intelligence. A quick response is mistaken for competence. A confident voice is treated as proof of a confident person. The person who answers first is heard; the person who needs time risks becoming invisible. Yet stuttering does not remove knowledge, humour, empathy, imagination, ambition, or talent. It only changes the route by which these things reach the listener.

When people ask how they should react to a person who stutters, I understand why they want a simple answer. Wait. Keep looking at the speaker. Do not say, “Slow down” or “Take a breath.” Do not finish the sentence. These are sensible rules, and for many people they are exactly right. Being interrupted can feel as if someone has reached into your mouth and taken away a thought that still belongs to you.

There were moments when I was grateful that somebody finished a word for me. I know that may sound surprising after everything I have written about patience. But when I was stuck, truly stuck, and the tension kept rising, hearing the word from someone I trusted could bring enormous relief. My body relaxed. We moved on. I did not feel robbed; I felt helped.

I hesitated before admitting that because I do not want my experience to become an excuse for interrupting every person who stutters. It should not. Many people hate having their sentences completed, and their boundary deserves respect. My point is simply that my truth does not cancel theirs, and theirs does not cancel mine. This is where the shades begin.

The safest response is not to assume. If you do not know the person, give them time. If you know them, ask what they prefer, preferably when they are not fighting to get a word out. The question can be ordinary: “When you get stuck, would you rather I wait or help?” Then believe the answer. It may be different tomorrow. It may depend on who is listening, where the conversation is happening, and how tired the speaker feels.

Some people want fluency. Others are working toward acceptance. Many want both and feel no need to choose a side. Some speak openly about stuttering; others are exhausted by having to explain it. None of these choices makes a person braver, weaker, more healed, or less authentic. We should not have to agree about stuttering before our different experiences are respected.

I understand that better now because my son stutters too. Watching him can pull me back into my own body before I have time to think. I recognise the effort in his face and the tension around a difficult word. My first instinct is to help. Sometimes I smile at him. I am not laughing and I am not pretending that the struggle is small. I want my face to tell him, “Nothing terrible is happening. You have time. I am here.”

Then another thought comes: what if he does not read my smile that way?

Perhaps he sees encouragement. Perhaps he sees another adult reacting to his speech. That uncertainty matters. I may know stuttering from the inside, but I do not know his exact experience. My memories give me empathy, not permission to decide everything for him. The things that comforted me may irritate him. The words that hurt me may not be the words that hurt him.

This is one of the harder lessons of being his mother. I cannot hand him my childhood as a map and expect it to fit. I can listen, ask, learn, apologise when I get it wrong, and make home a place where he does not have to protect me from his frustration. Love is not always knowing what to do. Sometimes it is staying close enough to learn.

That lesson reaches far beyond our home.

Most unkind reactions to stuttering do not begin with cruelty. They begin with discomfort. A pause appears, and the listener wants to fill it. A block lasts several seconds, and the listener feels responsible for making the moment normal again. They offer a word, look away, change the subject, or say, “Calm down, take a breath.” They believe they are reducing tension. Often, they are reducing their own tension first.

The person speaking notices.

We notice the glance toward the clock. We notice the eyes moving to someone else. We notice the sympathetic smile, the nervous laugh, the sentence completed without permission. We learn that our speech has created a problem in the room. Eventually, some of us decide that the safest way to prevent that problem is to speak less.

Not because we have nothing to say.
Because we have too much to lose when saying it.

That loss is difficult to measure. It is not only the missed word. It is the question never asked, the boundary never defended, the joke abandoned halfway through, the interview answer shortened, the relationship not begun, and the idea offered too late. It is the habit of editing yourself until other people meet only the smallest possible version of you.

Five seconds can change everything.

Five seconds of impatience can feel enormous. They can contain a raised eyebrow, an interruption, a command to relax, or the silent message that your voice is taking too long. Repeated across childhood, school, work, friendship, healthcare, and family life, those seconds can teach a person to distrust their own speech.

But five seconds of genuine attention can also mean everything.

They can say: I am not embarrassed by you. I am not measuring your worth by your speed. I am listening to your thought, not inspecting your fluency. You do not have to perform calmness for me. You do not have to replace the word. You do not have to apologise for the time your voice requires.

That kind of waiting is not empty. It is active respect.

It asks the listener to resist the urge to repair a moment that may not be broken. It asks them to remain comfortable when speech becomes unpredictable. It asks them to trust that the person in front of them is still competent, still intelligent, and still in control of what they want to say, even when control of the sound becomes difficult.

I used to measure success by fluency alone. Now the word means something wider to me. Success can be ordering the meal you actually want instead of choosing the easiest word. It can be saying your own name without substituting a nickname, making the telephone call you have postponed, or returning to a conversation after a painful block. For somebody else, success is using techniques that make speaking easier. For another person, it is stuttering openly without saying sorry.

People are allowed to change their minds about what they want. They are allowed to feel proud one day and exhausted the next. I can value my voice now and still grieve the years when fear made my world smaller. Those feelings do not fit into a neat success story, but they are honest.

I no longer believe that fluency creates the value of what I say. I do not have to speak perfectly to speak wisely, or quickly to speak truthfully. I wish I had understood that sooner. I wish other people had understood it too.

Awareness must be more than recognising the word “stuttering.” It becomes real in small, practical moments: a teacher who does not mistake hesitation for poor preparation; an employer who does not judge competence by one stressful interview; a doctor who leaves enough time for an answer; a parent who listens without panic. It can be as simple as understanding that a pause is not an emergency.

And sometimes it is a question: “Would you like me to wait, or would you like help with the word?”

There is dignity in that question because the choice returns to the speaker. The answer may change from person to person and from one day to the next. Respect should be able to change with it.

My shade of stuttering today is quieter than it once was, but it is not meaningless. It lives in memory, instinct, sensitivity, and the way I watch another person struggle for a word. It lives in the courage I am still learning, and in the anger I feel when speed is mistaken for human value. It lives in my decision to use the voice I once tried to hide.

Perhaps that is the strangest shade of all: the thing I believed had silenced me has become the reason I speak now.

I am not asking the world to pity people who stutter. I am not asking anyone to call us heroes merely because we speak. I am asking for something simpler and more demanding: attention without judgement, patience without performance, and help without assumption.

Sometimes that means five seconds of silence.
Sometimes it means a gentle question.
Sometimes it means accepting help when it is wanted and holding back when it is not.

Always, it means recognising that the voice belongs to the person using it.

To someone else, five seconds may be only a pause. To a person who has spent a lifetime fearing what happens inside that pause, it can become a test of whether the world has room for them. A patient listener can transform those seconds from a barrier into a bridge.

The greatest obstacle in my life was never only stuttering. It was the belief that I had to earn the right to be heard by speaking like everyone else. It was the hurry of a world that treated silence as failure and difference as delay.

 The world will not collapse if it waits.

It may, for the first time, hear the whole person.

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Comments

Five Seconds That Mean A Lifetime To Me- Justyna Majewska — 20 Comments

  1. This is an excellent essay, Justyna. You have such a way with words and I think you brought up an important point: we have various shades of stuttering, not just in how we stutter but how we react to the world around us in regards to our stutter. I know that the “standard” view is that we ask fluent people not to finish our sentences, but I have met several people who stutter who do feel relieved when someone finishes their sentences for them. But at the end we all seem to seek one same thing: grace.

  2. This is so powerful, Justyna. Thank you for the reminder that it is ok to pause! I am happy to read that you feel more fluent in your every day life and want to help others with their journey!

  3. It’s a good reminder not to associate someone’s special needs with their intelligence. I know people with dyslexia who are better at speaking than writing, although they sometimes mix up words, which is quite the opposite of stuttering. Being patient and understanding means not judging anyone against a so-called “normal” standard nor rush to finish their sentences.

  4. This was such a powerful read! I loved your point about how fluent speech doesn’t always mean freedom. I have never thought about how someone may sound fluent but there may be so many feelings hidden behind this. As a future SLP, this is a great reminder to have. Thank you so much for sharing your story.

  5. Justyna, that was a beautiful essay! Thank you for sharing your story with us. I really appreciated your perspective on how stuttering is not always something that can be heard. Your description of how a person may appear fluent while still changing words, avoiding situations, or planning what to say around their stutter really stood out to me. It is a good reminder that we cannot determine how much stuttering affects someone simply by listening to their speech.

    I also thought your discussion about how listeners should respond was important. I liked that you acknowledged that some people may appreciate help finishing a word, while others may find it frustrating or disrespectful. Asking the person what they prefer instead of assuming seems like such a simple but meaningful way to keep the speaker in control of their communication. As a future SLP, I think this is especially important because treatment and support should reflect each person’s individual experiences and goals rather than assuming that fluency is always the main measure of success.

  6. Hi Justyna! Thank you for sharing! I loved your point about how everyone who stutters has different needs, and that the best thing you can do it to ask rather than assume. As a future SLP, this was a good reminder that speech therapy can be simply making sure your client has someone that makes them feel heard and understood.

  7. Thank you, Justyna, for sharing such a powerful and vulnerable piece. I found your points on individual differences within the stuttering community to be extremely impactful, especially in the context of your son. You highlight how individual preferences for comfort and support can vary by person and shift depending on the specific situations someone finds themselves in. I think it is great advice to ask rather than assume!

  8. Hi Justyna,

    Thanks for a powerful read. I read your essay previous to seeing it here – the USA NSA published it!

    I can so relate to the experience of hiding – and making decisions not joyfully but based on possible consequences.

    This one thought resonated most with me – “Sometimes silence is simply surviving the distance between knowing and saying.” What a brilliant way to capture that moment, that goes unsaid and no one else even notices its existence.

    Thank you for sharing your insights.

    Pam

  9. Hi Justyna! Thank you for sharing your story. I truly enjoyed your acknowledgement to your childhood vs your sons being different. Highlighting that yes, you could give him the “roadmap” from your childhood, though it will not truly fit as his experience will be entirely different. Your words, “Love is not always knowing what to do. Sometimes it is staying close enough to learn” have stuck with me as well. They have been a good reminder to always take a moment and listen to other’s needs vs rushing to solutions…..whether that be with our family, strangers at work, etc. Thank you again!

  10. Hi Justyna! Thank you for sharing such a meaningful perspective! As a graduate SLP student, I was especially interested in your experience as both someone who stutters and a mother of a child who stutters. I appreciated how you acknowledged that what helped you growing up may not necessarily be what your son needs. I’m curious, has being a parent changed the way you view your own experiences with stuttering? Is there anything you wish SLPs would emphasize more when working with parents who have their own experiences with stuttering?

  11. Justyna, this is very beautiful and powerful. I really appreciate the individualization you speak of and the importance of choice and respecting each person’s journey. Thank you for a thought-provoking reflection!

  12. Justyna, thank you for sharing such a powerful perspective. Your writing is beautiful. Your explanation of how listeners may rush to fill a pause in order to ease their own discomfort really made me evaluate my responsibilities as a communication partner. You also offer such a unique experience in learning how to support your son and how this may be different than what best supported your stuttering.

  13. Justyna, thank you for sharing such a powerful post. This was a very beautiful post. I really appreciated your perspective on providing attention without judgement, patience without performance, and help without assumption. This really made me reflect and think about ways that I can be more intentional in doing that. Thank you for truly sharing your experience as it has encouraged me to live more boldy. Thank you again for sharing this.

  14. Hi Justyna! Thank you for being so vulnerable and inspiring with your post. This was powerful to read. Your writing will have a major impact to anyone who reads it. I appreciate you pointing out how someone jumping in to finish your sentence makes you feel rushed in what you were saying and can make you feel minimized. Your stuttering success stories also being included in this was super special to read about. This was great!!

  15. Thank you for sharing this motivating piece, Justyna. I thoroughly enjoyed the depth of this paper and the insight you provided into these lived experiences. Specifically, I loved your statement of, “The world will not collapse if it waits”. I feel like so many times in life we get tangled in speed and who can do what the quickest, when in reality waiting is the easiest, yet most rewarding thing one can do. A listener or speaker never truly knows how a simple pause can influence the other. This writing was phenomenal!

  16. Thank you for sharing this very powerful piece. I think your emphasis on five seconds is especially powerful and truly makes a difference. Five seconds of genuine attention and respect is about more than just time. It allows the speaker to feel seen, understood, and cared for, which can mean so much more than just five seconds. I thought your message was conveyed very well, especially in a way that allows others to understand the importance of their role when communicating with someone who stutters. Your quote, “I do not remember the day I started stuttering. I remember an entire life shaped by it,” really stood out to me. It shows how important it is to be someone who provides respect, patience, and attention because even a simple pause can have a greater impact on someone than we may realize.

  17. Hi Justyna,

    Thank you for sharing this article, which offers such a unique perspective on the different ways stuttering can manifest. You explained it in such a simple and relatable way, making it accessible to readers who may never have had the opportunity to meet someone who stutters or who may have many questions about how to respond appropriately when speaking with a person who stutters.
    In such a genuine and warm way, you described how there is no one right answer, and how sometimes the answer lies precisely in asking: “Would you like me to wait, or would you like help with the word?”

    I believe this paper can help many people develop a better understanding of people who stutter and encourage them to make changes and reflect on their own communication skills.

    I especially loved your words, “Love is not always knowing what to do. Sometimes it is staying close enough to learn.” They left such a profound and inspiring impression on me.

    Nika

  18. Hi Justyna! Thank you for sharing such a personal perspective. Your point that fluency doesn’t always mean freedom really stayed with me. I also appreciated the reminder that even shared experiences don’t mean identical needs. Asking what support someone wants—and respecting their answer—is such an important message.

  19. Hello Justyna,

    I loved your statement, “I no longer believe that fluency creates the value of what I say.” I think this is such a powerful statement and one that can be taught to others who are looking for acceptance with their stutter. I am in graduate school studying speech pathology and I would love to teach any clients I have who stutter this quote as an affirmation they can use to promote positive thinking to their stutter.

  20. So spot on, Justyna. Maybe we don’t have to learn to be fluent. Maybe society needs to learn to listen.

    Keep talking

    Anita