About the Author: Anita Blom, born and raised in the Netherlands, is living in Sweden. She worked as an operation manager for the Workers’ Educational Association. She has been a board member, incl chairperson, of stuttering organisations on local, national, European and international level, and an advisory board member of several international stuttering organisations.  She was a national and international keynote speaker on stuttering, had her own stuttering consultant company, was one of the Stutter Social hosts, was a project leader of several stuttering projects, and twice Member of the Year. She is an award-winning stuttering activist, acknowledged by Voice Unearthed on the Wall Of Inspiration, Stamma, and many others, nationally and internationally. She was also a leader of national and international camps for children and for young adults who stutter for 30 years.  Anita, aka Scatsis, has stuttered since she was 9 and had a troublesome youth because of her stuttering. She went from being silent, to giving stuttering a voice, from pre-school children to the European Parliament, now inspiring people who stutter of all ages, they can make a difference. Do check out her previous papers to the ISAD online conferences. Due to health issues she now has to take it slow, but is still an inspiration to many, especially young people who stutter and those with ME/cfs. Her device, that’s now been used all over the world is “Sure I stutter. What are you good at?”.

I stutter. And sometimes I don’t.
I love to talk. And sometimes I don’t.
I advocate. And sometimes I don’t.
I stutter openly. And sometimes I don’t.
I mostly see stuttering as something that just is. And sometimes I don’t.
I no longer use techniques. And sometimes I do.

So why are we talking about “people who stutter (PWS) always/never…”? Why do we keep hearing “It worked for me so it should work for you”?

Let me explain this further. 

I stutter. And sometimes I don’t.
I don’t always stutter. My audience (adult, baby, pets), my speaking role (presenting, conversation), the reactions and/or body language from the listener, (sometimes even the position of this person), time pressure, with or without microphone, one-on-one or an audience, hormones, the weather, my physical health, the language I’m speaking in, anything can change how I talk at any moment. So whether we stutter or we don’t, it’s OK.

I love to talk. And sometimes I don’t.
As a young child I talked all the time, to anyone. Until I started to stutter and learned from home, school, society, that stuttering should either be cured or silenced, but not be heard. So I became silent. Covert. Mute. As I thought being mute was more accepted than stuttering. Until I found my voice, when I found the stuttering community. Now I talk, as I’m back to being a social, talkative person. And yes, sometimes I love being silent. Not having to talk. Not having to listen to others talking. Talking with a stutter takes effort. So when there’s background noise, or when people are taking over the conversation, I’m silent. So whether we talk or are silent, it’s OK.

I advocate. And sometimes I don’t.
Since I found my voice I promised myself to never again be silent nor feel shame. I talk about stuttering all the time. When the customs officer asks me my reason to fly, I told them I was going to a stuttering event. When we did the Crazy 55 game, where we had to interact with people in the street and do all these crazy things, I told people why. I talked to teachers and students. I talked to local, national and international politicians. I talked to reporters from the radio, TV, newsletters, and magazines. I wear t-shirts, buttons and stickers with stuttering messages. I have social media accounts based on stuttering. And yet, when a person next to me on the airplane starts telling me how to breathe, or any other “cure” he saw on TV, I put my headphones on and listen to a book instead. So whether we advocate or not, it’s OK.

I stutter openly. And sometimes I don’t.
I no longer hide my stutter, as I’ve been ashamed of my stutter way too long. I have the right to speak the way I speak. I don’t ask people to take off their glasses if I don’t like them. Or tell a person in a wheelchair to just walk, as the chair is in my way. I am not my stutter. My stutter doesn’t define me. But, as already mentioned, stuttering takes energy, and me also having ME/cfs, energy is a scarce commodity. Also when I speak with people who are hard of hearing or elderly people, I try to use techniques to stutter less, so that they can follow what I’m saying, or read my lips. So whether we stutter openly or not, it’s OK.

I mostly see stuttering as something that just IS. And sometimes I don’t.
I stutter. It’s the way I talk. I don’t think it’s a blessing, nor a curse. It’s just something my body does. When I stutter a lot it gives me a migraine, muscle pain, and even hiccups. I love to give fast, witty replies, and often I manage to do so fluently. Until someone didn’t hear me and asked me to repeat it. Dang…But stuttering also makes me me. People remember me. Sign-language interpreters love to interpret me, as they can sign every single word I say. Stuttering made me fight harder, work harder, study harder, facing bullies, speaking in public (something that even fluent people find hard), being hung up on the phone, watching people laugh or walk away, and doing it anyway. So, although I’m not proud of my stutter, I’m proud of me, going through life with a stutter, and still living life to the fullest, and even being headhunted for jobs, including teaching jobs. Me, who was told to not even study, as I wouldn’t get anywhere anyway. So no matter how we see our stuttering, it’s OK.

I no longer use techniques. And sometimes I do.
Stuttering can be hard. Using techniques too. Imagine having to focus on how you walk. Every single step you take. Heel, midfoot, toes, balance, watching every unevenness in the road, and talking at the same time, focussing on what the other person says. Stuttering also uses way more muscles than being fluent. So yes, I’ve learned speech techniques. But to me they never really “stuck”. As I wanted to be fluent. I wanted to no longer feel shame. And the harder I tried not to stutter, the harder it became to speak and the more I felt like a failure. However, I also learned public speaking, body language, qigong, mindfullness, and I worked on my self-esteem and expanding my comfort zones. To me, that was the answer. I still stutter, but no longer with shame nor tension. And most of all, I did it for ME. I learned that acceptance was a safety net I can always fall back upon. But that doesn’t mean I’m not working on myself. Not to become fluent, but to become a good communicator, simply because I love to talk. Acceptance and Act can go nicely together. In fact, The letters ACT are included in the word Accept. So no matter what or even if we use anything that makes us want to talk, it’s OK.

My shades, my choice
So. Why are there still people telling me that stuttering is A and B? That people who stutter are X and Y? That therapy for PWS therefore is ABXY? What about all the other letter combinations? Stuttering is not static. PWS are not static. I gave you examples of me and my stutter. Other PWS may tell you something completely different, as their shades are different then mine. Society already tells us what is the “right” way of speaking and what’s not, but even in the stuttering community, and in the therapy room we’re told what to do, instead of asking us what we want. As maybe fluency isn’t the goal for everyone. Maybe it’s learning more to educate others. Maybe it’s guidance to expand our comfort zones. Maybe it’s to get out of a block. Maybe it’s help to get parents to accept stuttering. Maybe it’s to find myself behind my stutter. Yes, there should be therapy for those who want it. But base that therapy on the goals of the client, not the goals of the SLP, the parents, the teacher, the employer. As whatever our goals are, it’s OK. 

Find the shade that fits you
What if society would just accept stuttering as something that IS? Would we feel forced to hide with shame or to become fluent? What if we would stop telling others what they can and cannot do. What they should and should not try. That every PWS should wear an anti-stuttering watch and use a metronome, that we can’t become a CEO, that we need to, or even want to, work on our speech, especially this certain therapy you believe works for all, or that promises us all “the cure”? A therapy that works for one may not work for all, and that doesn’t mean we’ve failed, it just meant the shades didn’t fit. Can we stop pleasing each other and simply find out what each and everyone of us wants and needs to be able to say the things we want to say, in a way that we ourselves are OK with? As we may want different things, at different moments, and that’s OK.

See stuttering through different shades
We all take off our glasses every now and then. We all swap between glasses with different colors and shapes, and some prefer to vary with contact lenses, sunglasses, and even lasering. We can have a pair at home, one at the office, one in the car and one on the bedside table. Times have changed. We went from “four-eyes” to being cool wearing fashion glasses. When I was young and needed glasses I was only allowed to buy glasses from a certain row. I hated my glasses and still do when I see myself in teen photos. What a difference it would have made if I was asked “Cool, you’re wearing these glasses today. Why not get 2 for 1, so that you can get a pair of sunglasses as well. We also have a deal 3 for 2, so that your friend can get a pair as well, do you want sunglasses over your glasses or clip-ons? And how about double focus so that you can use the part of your glasses you need for different occasions? Please tell me about you and what you like and need.” 

What a wonderful world this would be. 

Anita S. Blom
Sure I stutter. What are you good at?