About the Authors: Arin Sheeler, M.A., CCC-SLP, is the proud parent of a teenage son who stutters. She lives with her husband and three children in Columbus, Ohio. Arin is a Speech-Language Pathologist and Clinical Preceptor at The Ohio State University Speech-Language-Hearing Clinic with experience working with adults with acquired neurogenic communication disorders and children and adults who stutter. She is a proud recipient of the Ally of Stuttering® Seal and a longtime board member of FRIENDS: The National Association of Young People Who Stutter. Her family has been involved with FRIENDS for several years and has a deep passion for education and advocacy in the stuttering community. Arin was honored to share her family’s journey with stuttering in Spero’s video titled “Nurturing and Empowering Your Child Who Stutters: A Parent’s Perspective.” She enjoys spending time with her family and watching her children in their various activities, reading, being outdoors, and volunteering at her church. Mandy Rodstrom, M.A., CCC-SLP, is a stutterer, advocate, and a former school-based Speech-Language Therapist of 19 years. She is a Spero Ally of Stuttering®, STARR Commonwealth Trauma and Resilience Specialist and has experience in private practice, clinical supervision, and teaching stuttering courses at multiple universities. Mandy is also an Audio Narrator for The Informed SLP where she reads stuttering research reviews, including her open stutters. She LOVES volunteering for various stuttering support groups, including Friends:The National Association of Young People Who Stutter, the National Stuttering Association, SPACE Community and Arts, and the Stuttering Association for the Young (SAY:DC). When not engaged in all things stuttering, Mandy enjoys family time with her husband and three children, singing and listening to music, traveling, cooking, reading and taking long walks with her dog. Ana Paula G. Mumy, SLP.D, CCC-SLP, is a trilingual speech-language therapist, Ally of Stuttering® SLP, private practitioner at Holistic Communication Therapy, PLLC, and adjunct professor. She is the co-founder and president of Spero Stuttering, Inc., a nonprofit organization that seeks to help, empower, and advocate for the stuttering community and their families by equipping those who work with people who stutter. Her scholarly interests have focused on early language and literacy, bilingual speech-language development, and bilingualism and stuttering. She enjoys singing, writing, reading, and traveling with her husband and two children @sperostuttering

Shade is what happens when light falls on a surface. Change the light and the shade changes, though the object itself has not changed at all.

This matters for the question we are asking, “What’s your shade of stuttering?” When we ask a family what shade of stuttering they live in, we are not really asking about the child’s speech. We are asking about everything that surrounds the child: what the family knows, what they fear, who they have found, and how the world responds when their child opens their mouth to speak. Those things determine the shade, and thankfully, they can change, so the question we would pose is, “What is your light source?”

The Parent’s Shade Shifts with the Season

From a parent’s perspective, we believe it is important to consider how multi-faceted and multi-dimensional stuttering often is, and that the journey to acceptance and well-being is not linear. Shades change and take on different colors and forms depending on different seasons of life.

In this way, the shade of stuttering we experience as parents is not static but rather shaped by what we know and understand to be true about stuttering, what we fear, our family values, how our child feels about their stutter, and how the people around us respond to our child’s stutter.

Several forces at play, then, but only one of them lives inside the child. The others belong to us and to the people around us, which means the shade a family lives in is being influenced, constantly, by many light sources.

That is why the shade moves and never stays static. What may initially be fear of the unknown and worry for your child can change to pride and immense joy in watching your child overcome obstacles and show bravery in social settings. This is not a matter of the stuttering “getting better,” though it may. It is a matter of the light changing.

That change can come through a robust and holistic approach to stuttering therapy that includes stutter-affirming practices and client- and parent-driven goals in the therapy room, as well as through connections to supportive communities where people who stutter are valued for what they have to say instead of how they say it, and where families learn that they are not alone in their journey.

Ultimately the shade created by the family that includes stuttering as simply one part of the child’s identity versus something to fix, hide, or control, is vital to shifting perspectives toward acceptance as well as physical, mental, emotional, and social well-being.

The Darker Shades

There is a reason we describe some of this in terms of darkness. The darker shades of stuttering may include unknowing, fear, avoidance, shame, loneliness, and disconnection. These shades are organic in nature, part of the whole multi-dimensional and multi-faceted stuttering experience, and of one’s ongoing journey toward acceptance and well-being.

It is worth considering what those six have in common. Unknowing prevents the parent and the child from understanding what is happening, leaving a space where fear and uncertainty take root. Fear isolates the parent inside their own worry and even guilt. Avoidance keeps the child from experiencing positive interactions and speaking situations. Shame isolates the child from themselves and others. Loneliness and disconnection speak for themselves. Every one of them is a form of separation happening in the absence of light.

This is why interconnectedness is crucial and the life energy that gives possibility and hope to the child who stutters, the parents, the community of people who stutter, SLPs, and society. Interconnectedness illuminates the darker shades, and it works because it addresses the thing they actually are. A family that finds other families may not stop worrying, but the worry stops being private and insurmountable. A child who meets other children who stutter may not stop stuttering, but stuttering stops being the thing that makes them feel like the only one in the room.

What “Good Practice” Looks Like

From a clinician’s perspective, we have the opportunity to change the shades of stuttering by focusing our intervention with both the client and the family on understanding stuttering and why it happens, teaching adaptive coping strategies to navigate challenging speaking situations and foster resilience, and changing the narrative that ‘fluency is good’ and ‘stuttering is bad’ toward communication confidence and freedom as driving factors to meaningful therapy.

As we begin to see the different shades of stuttering take shape, this sequence may ensue:

Knowledge has the power to change how we interpret stuttering. Interpretation often changes how we feel about stuttering. Our feelings then influence our behaviors and how we respond to stuttering. Responses then impact the child’s experience and the parent’s experience with stuttering.

Two things are worth noticing about that sequence.

The first is that it is a loop rather than a straight line. The child’s experience guides what knowledge is needed in the moment, which shapes the next interpretation, which shapes the next response. Families are not moved along this chain once. They travel it again and again, in every new season, whether it’s a new school, a new friendship, or a first job interview. Each pass leaves the shade a little different.

The second is the importance of explaining stuttering to families – what it is, why it happens, what it is not, and that no one is at fault. This is a key part of the clinical work because everything downstream is shaped by it, including the family’s ability to educate others, shaping interpretation and responses by teachers, family members, other significant adults, and peers.

None of this can be completed by one person working alone. The parent cannot supply the knowledge unaided; the clinician cannot supply the community in isolation; the community cannot do the daily work of dinner table conversations or talking openly about stuttering experiences. Interconnectedness expands the range of possibilities for the child and the family.

What’s Yours?

Our shade is one that keeps changing as the light sources grow and illuminate more and more. Good light sources bring about understanding, realistic expectations, positive responses, helpful actions, unhindered communication, empowering self-advocacy, and community.

Nurturing and Empowering Your Child Who Stutters: A Parent’s Perspective follows one family through exactly this movement. When Scott and Arin’s son started stuttering, they did what so many parents do: they searched for answers, tried to fix it, and worried about his future. What they found wasn’t a cure. It was connection, community, and a home where his voice belongs.

What changed the light for your family?