 About the Author:
My name is Allie Toombs. I am a college student and person who stutters from St. Louis, Missouri. I am a senior at the College of Wooster, where I am a history major and play on the field hockey team. I have been involved in the stuttering community since high school and have attended three NSA annual conferences. I love educating others and talking about stuttering! |
My poem attempts to describe some of the negative reactions I get surrounding my stutter, and the way in which my community has helped me feel more confident about my speech and see the different shades.
When I speak, the world stops,
Or at least it seems like to me.
My hands shake, my stomach drops,
They stand, I stand, watching me gulp in air.
When I speak, smiles fade,
And the sighs cut me like a blade.
When I speak, I think:
How hard can it be
to talk to me?
But they have places to be, things to do,
And my words are not important enough for you.
When I speak,
With friends, family, my stamily
The world starts again.
I talk, and I talk, and I talk,
Our stuttering voices interlock
No one stares, no one leaves,
And I can finally breathe.
The smiles stay, I take my time,
My voice is of my own design.
Allie, thanks for sharing this poem. It’s wonderful how you express how community stands with you, and the relief and confidence that brings!
Thanks so much!
So inspiring! ✊
Allie,
Thanks so much for sharing this. I too like to write poetry about my stuttering experiences and find it very healing when I can express thoughts in a rhythmic way, where I didn’t always feel I could do that verbally.
I am glad to see that you find patience and acceptance with your stuttering family and those who know you. I also like to hear that you enjoy talking.
Have you ever disclosed to people you don’t know that you stutter? To give them context as to why they may want to be more patient?
Thank you again for sharing this.
Pam
I do disclose a decent amount in my everyday life, and most people are patient when I tell them. The examples/experiences from the poem are mostly from when it is not feasible to tell every new person that I stutter, like short conversations or when I worked customer service.
I really enjoyed reading your poem and how you showed the contrast between speaking around people who may be impatient or uncomfortable with stuttering and speaking around people who make you feel accepted. The line, “And my words are not important enough for you,” especially stood out to me because it shows how a listener’s reactions can make someone feel like what they have to say is less valuable simply because it may take longer to say it. I also liked how the tone changes when you begin talking about your friends, family, and “stamily.” The ending, “My voice is of my own design,” was a powerful way to show how having a supportive community can help someone become more comfortable and confident in their own voice. Your poem is a great reminder that the listener’s patience and acceptance can have such an important impact on a person who stutters.
Thank you for the feedback!
I really enjoyed reading your poem! I am currently taking my first fluency course as a graduate student in speech language pathology, so I still have a lot to learn about stuttering. Your poem really opened my eyes to how the reactions of others can affect someone who stutters. One thing that stood out to me was how you described feeling uncomfortable when others seem impatient, but feeling more confident and comfortable when you are surrounded by people who understand you. I think sometimes people do not realize how much their facial expressions and reactions can impact someone who stutters. As a future SLP, your poem reminded me of how important it is to create a supportive environment where individuals feel comfortable expressing themselves without feeling rushed or judged. What is one thing you wish speech language pathologists understood better about stuttering, and what could they do to help you feel more comfortable and supported during therapy?
One thing that I think most SLPs should realize is that stuttering therapy can’t just be about fluency, and should also focus on the emotional impact of stuttering on a person’s life. To make a client feel comfortable, a speech therapist should listen to what the person’s goals are, whether they be fluency, confidence, or something else. I think SLPs just need to learn to be patient, and to understand that not everyone wants total fluency.
Hi Allie! Thank you for sharing! Your shift in tone during the poem when talking about your “friends, family, and stamily” really conveys how important community is to you! I am currently a graduate student studying to become a speech-language pathologist. When I encounter clients who stutter, I definitely want to get them connected to the stuttering community!
The stuttering community is awesome, definitely makes you feel less alone!
Hello Allie! Thank you so much for sharing your poem. It was so interesting to read about your stuttering in your poem; I really felt like I was on a physical and emotional roller coaster with you when reading it. I was wondering if you find that writing about your stuttering helps you process or cope with it. I am in a fluency class in graduate school right now, and I am not only learning about treatment but also what people do to cope with their stuttering.
Writing does help me process my emotions, whether about stuttering or other aspects of my life. One of my best SLP’s had me write down my thoughts and feelings surrounding stuttering and then create affirmations related to them, which really helped me to notice how I was feeling about my speech.
Hi Allie! Thank you for sharing your voice and allowing us to learn from your experiences. Your poem highlights the importance of having access to a safe space for individuals who stutter. My question for you: what are some ways that you have created/found safe spaces in your own community?
Within my college community, I have worked to educate my friends and professors about stuttering, so they can better understand it. I answer questions that my friends might have, and will have discussions about stuttering with them. I also send an informational sheet to my professors before classes start, explaining how to interact with people who stutter.
I am also involved in a stuttering Discord, which is a safe space to vent or share victories, along with everyday life.
This made me smile, “When I speak, With friends, family, my stamily, The world starts again.” How special that you have found the people who see you, love you, and accept you for who you are! Thank you, Allie, for sharing your poem.
The stuttering community is the best!
Hi Allie! As a graduate student pursuing speech-language pathology, I appreciated reading your creative poem because it allowed me to put myself in your shoes and in the shoes of other people who stutter.
Thanks for the comment!
Hi Allie.
This poem was so meaningful to read. I appreciate your honesty of how it can feel to talk to someone who may not understand stuttering. It reminded me that we all should strive to make everyone feel comfortable in every conversation. Your poem shows how great the stuttering community is. Thank you for sharing this!
Thanks, I am glad you liked it!
Hi Allie. Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem. I enjoyed reading it and thought you did a great job conveying your personal experiences to share with others. I loved that you included the stamily in the poem as well. Thank you again for sharing your art!
You’re welcome, I am glad you liked it!
What a beautiful poem, Allie! And all so recognizable. I still remember my first times. The first time i met other PWS. The first time they helped me feel I was good enough. The first time I started raising my own voice. I love my Stamily. They are my home. This sentence really spoke to me “My voice is of my own design”. Our shapes, our shades. Worth repeating.
Keep sharing
Anita