Allie ToombsAbout the Author:

My name is Allie Toombs. I am a college student and person who stutters from St. Louis, Missouri. I am a senior at the College of Wooster, where I am a history major and play on the field hockey team. I have been involved in the stuttering community since high school and have attended three NSA annual conferences. I love educating others and talking about stuttering! 

My poem attempts to describe some of the negative reactions I get surrounding my stutter, and the way in which my community has helped me feel more confident about my speech and see the different shades. 

When I speak, the world stops,
Or at least it seems like to me.
My hands shake, my stomach drops,
They stand, I stand, watching me gulp in air.

When I speak, smiles fade,
And the sighs cut me like a blade.

When I speak, I think:

How hard can it be
to talk to me?

But they have places to be, things to do,
And my words are not important enough for you.

When I speak,
With friends, family, my stamily
The world starts again.

I talk, and I talk, and I talk,
Our stuttering voices interlock
No one stares, no one leaves,
And I can finally breathe. 

The smiles stay, I take my time,
My voice is of my own design.

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Comments

When I Speak – Allie Toombs — 5 Comments

  1. Allie,

    Thanks so much for sharing this. I too like to write poetry about my stuttering experiences and find it very healing when I can express thoughts in a rhythmic way, where I didn’t always feel I could do that verbally.

    I am glad to see that you find patience and acceptance with your stuttering family and those who know you. I also like to hear that you enjoy talking.

    Have you ever disclosed to people you don’t know that you stutter? To give them context as to why they may want to be more patient?

    Thank you again for sharing this.

    Pam

    • I do disclose a decent amount in my everyday life, and most people are patient when I tell them. The examples/experiences from the poem are mostly from when it is not feasible to tell every new person that I stutter, like short conversations or when I worked customer service.

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