 About the Author:
My name is Seun Eleyinafe. I am an aspiring New York City Transit Authority train conductor that holds a double bachelor degree in English and History from Herbert Henry Lehman College and an associates degree in Liberal Arts from the Borough of Manhattan Community College. My first interest in poetry came from when I was in high school doing volunteer work with Building with Books (since renamed to BuildOn). I got one of my poetry pieces entered for Obscura – a literary magazine – at my alma mater and I am interested in trains, buses and learning languages. I have done many class presentations, participated in poetry slams, and asked questions from various panelists. While I come from the Bronx in New York City, I live in Lancaster Township in Lancaster, Pennsylvania with my dad. |
I am autistic and
I always annoy my family by
Imitating train intercom announcements
Even though I am speech impaired
I have managed to do many presentations
And ask questions from panelists
My default filter is often wondering if
I have committed any offense, much more
If I made my immediate family mad
My speech impairment
Has led to me being misunderstood
From folks like my dad
About what words I actually say
Being scared of
Bumblebees, wasps and houseflies
Has amplified my speech impairment
My dad barely understands my weakness
Being speech impaired has made
Conversations concerning me
Rather difficult to have.
Because I spoke later,
I have found myself thinking out loud
Or being a chatterbox to other people
Being autistic
Has caused me to be overly apologetic
Or barely understand humor
It is so ironic that I make
Other people laugh while I am being serious
I wish I could understand
The way my dad jokes with
One of my first neighbors
That worked with him at the Nigerian Consulate
I wish I could hide both parts of me
But I determine I have to live with them
So these are my shades.
I’m also autistic and, even if I never imitated train intercom, I can see you ✊
Thank you for this comment Clement! I don’t really think I’ve expressed my thoughts about me being speech impaired as well as autistic in a space like this.
Seun, this is so excellent. Thank for sharing this deeply personal reflection on autism + stuttering. Can I say – I absolutely love that you love to imitate train intercom announcements. They are so worthy of imitation!!! My husband and I used to live in the Boston MA area, and we both loved to imitate the conductors because 1) the Boston accent is a fun one, and 2) for me as a person who stutters, I often stutter less when doing accents and impersonations/imitations. And it feels good in my body to sometimes have a break from stuttering and feel fluent, if only for a short time. I see you too 🙏🏽
This is the same exact thing that I do with the ones in New York City. My favorite ones happen to be from Dianne Thompson as well as Jessica Ettinger Gottesman and Catherine Cowdery. Thank you for this comment!
Seun,
Wow, what a great piece. Thanks for sharing more about yourself and helping others understand about the different intersections there are on the stuttering journey.
I participated in, and won, the first ever Stutterslam held at the NSA conference in 2019.
Keep going after your dreams.
Pam
Thanks Pamela for this comment! I appreciate it.
Hi Seun! Thank you for sharing your personal experiences through poetry! As a graduate SLP student, I found your perspective on the intersection of autism and speech difficulties really interesting. You mentioned feeling misunderstood by others, including family members, which made me think about how communication involves both the speaker and listener. I’m curious, what do you wish people better understood about the way you communicate, and what could others do differently to help you feel more understood?
Thank you for this question Yasmin. Like being an autistic person, one thing that needs to be put out in the open is that everyone speaks differently from other people and they don’t often speak the same. Just because some words like yes are misconstrued as me saying es doesn’t mean that I didn’t answer my parents according to how they want me to answer.
Hi Seun! I enjoyed reading your biography and your poem about having autism and a stutter. As a graduate student pursuing speech-language pathology, I appreciated hearing your perspective on life while navigating your speech impairment. I think it is awesome that you aspire to become a New York City Transit Authority train conductor.
Thank you for this comment! I feel like it comes with the fact that I lived in New York City for such a long time that I am able to really pick up on intercom announcements and stuff like that. The most important thing to realize is that the voice that conductors often use on the intercom may very well sound different when off the intercom.
Thank you for sharing this honest piece, Seun. I have family members and friends with autism and other shades of the spectrum, even people who stutter with autism. To have one is not always easy, having both must be such a challenge! But even if people don’t always understand, keep being you, as we need the many different colors that together create the light we see, love and need.
Keep talking
Anita