About the Author: Tom Scharstein is a person who stutters and entrepreneur from South Florida, USA. From national board memberships to support group leadership, Tom has been active in the worldwide stuttering support community for over 25 years. Co-founding the World Stuttering Network (WSN) in 2020, he is deeply honored to serve as Chair.

(The following is an excerpt from a larger work)

It’s important to be seen and heard in life. Speaking up helps you get what YOU want out of life. Silence might be safer, but you get walked on a lot. Life begins when we start talking.

Being heard in the stuttering community is vital. Get involved. It’ll be one of the most rewarding things you’ll do in life. And listening to other people gives me options. Being in the community for such a long time has helped me figure out what works for me. You might agree with most of what I say, some of what I say, or none of what I say. I’m not here to win any arguments. I want you to be successful in however you want to live your life. If something I say helps you, then it’s all worth it to me.

“My greatest hope is that you find something in my words that helps.” Tom Scharstein

Don’t be too hard on yourself when you make a mistake. Everyone’s a genius when they look back.

Don’t let the mood of your day be determined by how much you stutter. If you figure that out, let me know how.

Stuttering tells us that we’re not good enough. But trying too hard to be accepted sets an exhausting standard that repels people because they think we’re not authentic. And who knows? They might be right.

When you think everyone’s got it together except you, remember one truth about life: Everyone’s just as screwed up as everyone else. Let people hear your thoughts and feelings. You might be pleasantly surprised and find some answers.

Market your stuttering. It gives you an advantage in sales. In business, sales is everywhere all the time.

When you say it’s OK to stutter, remember that someone is afraid to get out of bed every day because they stutter. They don’t want to stutter, and that’s OK too.

Get to a conference for people who stutter at least once. If you can’t afford it, contact the organization and ask for help getting there. There’s a lot of generous people.

Don’t blame your parents for your stutter. Don’t blame your teachers, your friends, your environment…whatever. Blame doesn’t change anything.

Speaking has less to do with getting what you want out of life than you think.

Does being around people who stutter make you stutter more? Probably. Maybe because you talk more. Maybe because the fear is gone. But you’ll feel an instant deep connection with others, and that’s a special thing. They’ll understand you in ways that’s impossible for others.

Being underestimated hurts. But in the long run, it’s one of the most powerful motivators in the world.

Do things by yourself. Not all the time, but sometimes. You’ll build trust in yourself.

THINK like a fluent person. There’s a difference.

If you want to do something as a group, the question to ask is, “Will this help people?” If the question is, “Will this make money?” . . . you’re in the wrong place. 

“Be the person your 8 yr. old self and 80 yr. old self would be proud of.” Bob Wellington

The stuttering support world is intense, just like stuttering. It’s OK to get what you need and go on with life. But, you’ll never be alone again.

What is the hardest thing about stuttering? The constant fight NOT to underestimate ourselves. Most everything IS reachable.

The next level after advertising your stutter is to promote it.

Silence is agreement. Do you really agree?

You might not be able to control your feelings, but you sure can control your ATTITUDE.

Silence is safe, but limiting. And it’s just not as fun. 

The language of ‘easy’ words might not get the message across.

Don’t worry about being a counselor. Listening to someone is the best help you can give.

Act confident as you stutter. After a while, it won’t be an act.