About the Author: Tiffani Kittilstved, M.S., CCC-SLP (she/her/hers) is a stutterer as well as a private practice Speech-Language Pathologist. She’s based out of the Seattle, WA area where she specializes in working with children and adults who stutter. These experiences, along with her own personal experiences with stuttering, have motivated her current research interests, which include covert stuttering; ableism within society towards stutterers; the application of trauma-informed counseling approaches into therapy; and the intersectionality of identities among stutterers. Tiffani is also actively involved in the stuttering community, holding leadership positions within the National Stuttering Association and organizing One-Day Conferences through Friends, an Association of Young People Who Stutter. She is excited to be a part of the ISAD conference for the 6th year.

It just takes one moment to alter your entire life path.

It just takes one person to change your life.

It just takes one act of kindness to instill a lifelong sense of compassion.

It just takes one stroke of bravery to conquer your fears. 

It just takes one decision to take back control of your life. 

It just takes one movement towards vulnerability to open up your world. 

It just takes one step in a different direction to positively impact your future. 

Life can seem so overwhelming sometimes. But truly the most influential moments in our life are comprised of doing just one thing: making one change, taking one step, listening closer for one minute, stepping back for one second, making one decision towards vulnerability and courage. I say this not to undervalue these moments and decisions as they’re some of the hardest things we do in our lives but often they only require us to do one thing, one time, and then our lives – and the lives of others impacted by those decisions – will change forever. 

I’m not sure if thinking about life in this way makes it less or more overwhelming but it’s nonetheless true that sometimes we make decisions without realizing the impact that they have on us, others, and the world. And if that doesn’t add meaning to our choices, I don’t know what does.

When I reflect on my life in this manner, I can think clearly about many single moments where my life – and the lives of those impacted by my choices – have changed. Here are just a few:

-Coming out to my family about my stuttering. This decision set me on the path towards openness, authenticity, acceptance, vulnerability, and bravery. This one moment snowballed into many subsequent moments that have made me into the person I am today.

-Going to my first National Stuttering Association conference. Choosing to attend this conference took a lot of little moments (and years…) to decide to go but, once I did, this one conference created a sense of belonging and community that I hadn’t experienced ever before. The outcome of this one decision led to a lot more connections, relationships, conferences, conversations, and life changing moments since then.

-Finding one good speech therapist. This one person changed my life so substantially and impacted my decision to continue pursuing becoming an SLP and impacting others who stutter in the same way. She also set the stage for my continued acceptance and to pursue finding and loving my real [stuttery] voice. 

-Writing one poem. I wrote a poem about ableism for the ISAD 2021 conference last year. At the time I could barely log in to the conference and read comments because it felt too vulnerable. I was so scared of receiving criticism and negativity that I could barely engage. I wasn’t even sure I could submit the poem out of fear of judgment but I had one [very brief] moment of bravery and I submitted it. This one moment of vulnerability submitting that poem impacted another stutterer’s life as I found out later that a teenage girl actually performed my poem at a poetry competition! Seeing her perform it meant everything to me. Her decision to get up there and perform impacted my life just as much (if not more) than my decision to write it and post it. 

I think that the beauty of our moments is that not only do they impact us and our lives but they have the ability to impact others as well. And those moments that follow are some of the most beautiful and meaningful parts of our lives. 

If we can all find one ounce of courage to take one step towards openness and authenticity with ourselves and the world about our stuttering, we can start to shift the way the world sees, hears, and views stuttering. Changing the world, improving perceptions, reducing biases, dismantling oppressive and discriminatory practices and ideals can sound like a daunting, overwhelming, or even impossible task but if we look at what goes into these large scale changes, it’s just a compilation of a lot of little changes by a lot of courageous people that add up to something truly incredible. 

Together, we will be seen, we will be heard, and we will improve the representation and normalization of stuttering in the mainstream and across the world – one moment at a time.