About the Author:
I’m Rik Mets, 28 years old, married and live in Bunschoten-Spakenburg, the Netherlands. For the past six years I have worked as a history teacher at various schools, now starting my fourth year at the Montessori Lyceum Flevoland. Besides teaching, I am a Mentor, Dean for the upper-level classes and Department Chair, Social Studies. |
Being seen and heard on TV
Or
How I got into an argument on how you can deal with your stammer on national television
Last January I was having a work-at-home day, preparing classes and tests, when suddenly my phone rang. The person calling was a producer on the late-night talk show Beau, telling me that they were having a segment that evening on stuttering. Each week they invite a different scientist explaining about their research. This evening someone from the Max Planck Institute would be joining them to talk about the latest research that is being done on the genetic origins of stuttering. Years ago I participated in the studies and they still had my number lying around somewhere. They asked if I wanted to join that evening and talk about what stuttering means to me, in my professional and daily life.
Joining a late-night talk show? On live television? With over a million people watching? Having to speak about stuttering? While stuttering? Sure, why not? The anxiety started as soon as the call ended.
So that evening I got in my car, drove through the deserted streets of Amsterdam (we were in the final stages of our last lockdown) and arrived at the studios. Nervous as hell. The make-up artist tried to put me at ease, saying it was just like having a conversation with a few people sitting at a table. Never mind the camera’s, I wouldn’t even notice them, she told me. Bullshit. As soon as I set foot in the studio, I saw nothing but camera’s and the people manning them. Beau van Erven Dorens, the talk show host, introduced himself to me by giving me a fist bump. He was happy that I could join them, he said. They had the researcher who was to talk about the scientific aspect of stuttering, me and a third person, who would, just like me, talk about the effects stuttering can have on your life.
This third person turned out to be Femke Merel van Kooten, a Dutch politician and former member of parliament. Although I am interested in politics and follow the news, I had never heard of her and had no idea she stuttered. So all in all, it seemed like it was going to be an interesting conversation. Still nervous though.
Lights, camera’s. Three, two, one, action. Before I knew it the broadcast had started. Beau was talking about the latest Covid related restrictions and when the lockdown would end. Guests gave their opinions and prognosis. The next segment was on education and the disturbing lack of teachers in primary schools. I was on the edge of my seat. As a high school educator they just might ask me a question, so I had to be prepared. Nothing yet. The commercial break started and I was led to my seat at the table. Showtime.
Sure, it was just a conversation. I tried not to mind the cameras, but I could not shake the feeling that over a million people were watching. Family and friends, colleagues and students, countless strangers. Of course the anxiety would make my stutter worse than it normally is, but I didn’t care about that. When the question came what stuttering means to me and the effect that it has had on my life, I was quite open about it. Sure, it wasn’t always easy when I was younger, but the last couple of years I had come to terms with it and accepted it was part of who I am. For those who have read my earlier contributions to ISAD, you know my position on stuttering.
Then Beau turned to the politician, asking her the same question. No, she did not feel the same way. She had had a severe stutter when she was younger, but after intensive therapy she finally got rid of it and she was still extremely happy about it. If she had stuttered, Femke said, she would never have become a politician. Doing therapy means hard work, but it is essential in order to get rid of your stutter. That was the message she was sending to everyone at home. I felt the need to respond, but the producers suddenly turned on a video clip.
The clip was the famous final scene from The King’s Speech. I assume the plot of this Oscar-winning movie is well known. The stuttering prince Albert of York suddenly becomes King George VI and is thrust into the centre of Britain’s attention when World War II starts. As the leader of the nation he has to give a radio speech, which he gets through rather well with the help of his speech therapist, Lionel Logue. That was the scene they showed and I was asked to comment on it.
For some reason, my nerves subsided. Maybe because the producers had asked me about this movie before, maybe because it is just one of those topics that always comes up whenever I talk with people about stuttering. I slipped into my teacher-role and started to orate. Of course, I think it is a great movie, well written, well-acted and quite true to history. However, I have one reservation. ‘Which is?’ Beau asked.
How great would it have been if George VI had not overcome his stutter and did have blocks and repetitions during his speech. But he still gave it and he still inspired the nation, showing that you can execute your role perfectly well, even with a stammer. I reminded Beau of something I read about Joe Biden. He has found a way to deal with his stutter so people do not notice it. How great would it be for all the people in the world who stutter if the president of the United States of America just spoke with a stammer?
Femke, rather abruptly, interrupted me. Oh no, she did not feel the same way! It was very important that everyone who stutters goes through speech therapy, especially the one she had done. You cannot expect people to just live with their stutter, they have to get rid of it. It is a handicap if you do not deal with it. ‘But…’ I tried to intervene. She would not let me, but instead made her point again and she would have gone on if Beau had not cut her off. There was only time for one final remark, something we really wanted to tell the people watching, so I turned to the camera and said that of course, speech therapy is fine if you want it, but it is okay to just stutter. And people listening to you should give you time to speak.
Femke’s final remark was once again…you guessed it: get speech therapy!
When I left the studio I had a feeling of disappointment. Had I done enough to persuade people not to listen to the, in my opinion, extreme views of Femke? Had I given people who stutter enough to take with them? I was doubtful, until I checked my phone. It was blowing up. There were so many messages coming through. Texts saying how well I had done, Facebook messages from people I hadn’t seen in a long time, and screenshots with what people were saying about me on Twitter. All very positive. My message had gotten through.
As I got in my car, that disappointed feeling made way for pride. People had seen me and they had heard me.
Rik I love this story and thank you for being so bold and courageous to speak up when you realized you didn’t like the narrative that was being said.
It is so important that each of us speaks up to give our views on different things as this is a great example of how over a million people were influenced by you speaking up and their views and narrative of stuttering will be forever changed because of that.
In that moment, what was it that made you speak up given the power dynamics you were dealing with a politician and being in front of a national audience as well and still speak up again and again until your message got out?
What advice do you have for others who may be afraid to speak up like you were able to do and not even want to take the interview in the first place?
Dear Kunal,
Thank you for your kind words. To answer your questions: I don’t really know what made me speak out at that moment. I think I felt that I had an opportunity that I shouldn’t waste. I mean, how often do you get the chance to say something on national television, haha! If I hadn’t spoken out, I would have felt bad afterwards.
If I could give people who are afraid to speak up any advice, it would be that you should first think about what you want to say. If you have something you are passionate about, something that you really want to say: do it. Take the stage, seize the moment. You’ll feel worse afterwards if you don’t do it. Of course, this is easier said than done, but it is the advice I could give.
Congratulations Rik! I thought I had made a long way I see now that I still have a long way to go : ). Going to television is Giant, my spine froze while reading your text, and speaking against the prevailing narrative, in an elegant way, even more so. I loved reading your text that reinforced my idea that fundamentalisms are not necessary, are not good at all, and that both paths are ok and that it is good to have options.
Thank you so much, Pedro!
Hi Rik
Thank you for sharing this, and for continuing to work to simply allow people who stutter to be themselves.
Hanan
Hi Rik, this was a great story. I was wondering if someone like George VI is some what of a figure in the stuttering community? I’ve seen a few posts mentioning him!
-Justin
Hi Justin,
Haha, yes, he is somewhat of a figure in the stuttering community. He was the British king during WWII and he struggled with stuttering all of his life. The fact that they made a movie about this (‘The Kings Speech’) really catapulted his story into the limelight, outside of the stuttering community as well. So, George has become sort of the ‘go-to-guy’ when it comes to stuttering. I think the movie did a good job raising awareness about stuttering, but of course there are many stories like his.
I hope this was helpful 🙂
Rik Mets,
Thank you for sharing this memory and reinforcing the sediment that stuttering is not negative by default. I am studying to become a speech therapist and I feel it is important–as you mentioned–that individuals are given the ability to choose whether they want to receive therapy or not without feeling negative connotations from society for the way they speak. I am glad you were given the opportunity to speak on television to challenge preconceived notions and offer an additional perspective.
Thank you for your kind words!
Hello Rik,
Thank you for sharing your story with us! I think it is amazing how you turned a national TV moment into a genuine experience, even if as you you say, extreme views of someone who feels stuttering should be treated. I agree with you that your opinion matters, just as anyone else’s, no matter how controversial it may seem. Only someone who stutters can speak to what they feel makes them content and happy. For you, it was, that stuttering is ok! Often seen as a stigma because it is always connected in with getting treatment, which is fine as well -if that is something the individual chooses. But it is also ok to let people know of the alternative and owning it and feeling proud just the same. I have a question for you, when you were on live TV did you notice yourself stutter?
Thanks,
Tamara
Thanks for sharing, man!
I have been on TV a couple times but never live, I wonder how nervous would I be. That aside, I love your message, and the idea that you were sharing with others. Therapy is good, helpful, and there for those who want/need it, but reality is, even with therapy, some of us, will still stutter, and it’s important for us to tell our stories and share that we can be happy AND successful even with a stutter.
Keep working on it, man, we need people like you.
Hi Rik!
I loved hearing about your experience. I can only imagine how nervous you must’ve been on TV, especially when conversing with a politician who has a different opinion about stuttering than your own. I am a student going into the field of Speech Langauge Pathology and I just wanted to say I value your opinion very much. One thing I am learning about is that the most important thing is to use people-first language. Stuttering does not define who you are as a person. When it comes to any type of therapy you must first take into account what your client wants to gain and accomplish. I completely respect you and your decision to embrace your stutter! I think it’s very moving and shows other PWS that stuttering is nothing to be afraid of and it’s not inhibitory.
Best,
Jasmine
Hi Rik!
Thank you for sharing your story! I have been on TV a couple of times, but it was never live. I would have probably been nervous. I think it is great that you were able to state your opinion, as your opinion matters!
Thank you!
Shay
Hi Rik!
Your courage deeply moved me in speaking up on live T.V. I am a student hoping to become a Speech Language Pathologist. I believe it is very important to meet people where they are. It is not beneficial to push a person into changing their stutter if it does not interfere with their everyday life. I was wondering, what do you think a speech therapist should do if they are working with a child whose parents are pushing them into speech therapy to get rid of their stutter when the child is not interested in fixing it?
Thanks,
Megan
Dear Megan, thank you for you comment and you raise a very good question. I think it’s the job for the speech therapist to have the best interest of their client in mind. If a child (or an adult for that matter) is not interested in ‘fixing’ their stutter, the speech therapist should explain this to the parents. The fault lies more with them than with the stuttering child, in my opinion.
Best,
Rik
Hi Rik! Thank you so much for sharing your experience being on live television! Thank you for being open about your feelings and anxieties that occurred during the process. It was interesting to hear the different views that people who stutter or people who have stuttered have. Thank you for sharing your opinion that it is possible to stutter AND be impactful/influential. The two are not mutually exclusive. Thank you for sharing!
Best,
Kyla
Hello Rik ,
I loved your story about your experience on TV. I thought it was interesting how the politician mentioned that she would not pursue politics if she still had a stutter. In regards to this did you ever face any doubts from other people when pursuing your career as a history teacher ?
Thank You and looking forward to your reply ,
Cynthia Rodriguez
Dear Cytnhia,
Sure, there were many doubts when I wanted to become a teacher. First of all from myself, because I didn’t think it was possible to teach with a stutter, and when I went down that road there were doubts from my own teacher and people around me. I actually wrote an article about this for ISAD 2020, you can still find it on this website.
I think PWS will always encounter obstacles and have to face people’s doubts when they want to do something that is not normally done by people with a stutter. But as I always say, that shouldn’t hold you back. You have to try to do what you want to do and what you feel comfortable with.
Best,
Rik
Hi Rik! I loved your story and the way you used this opportunity to normalize stuttering on national television. I am currently in graduate school to become a speech-language pathologist and hope to help normalize stuttering and advocate for people who stutter in my future career. I was wondering what helped you accept and embrace your stutter throughout your life.
Hi, thanks for your comment and your question. For me it was very important to have an understanding family and group of friends, they never really pushed me to overcome my stuttering. Other than that, being in contact with other people who stutter has really helped to accept my own stutter. It showed me that it is okay to stutter and that you shouldn’t let it hold you back. After that, it was trial and error, but it got better over time.
Hi Rik!
Your story is amazing, and what an accomplishment it is to be on live television! The power of social media is so important, do you feel that there needs to be more awareness through the media to normalize stuttering? For example, do you wish to see more movies similar to “The King’s Speech” (with a different ending of course) in the media?
Hi, thank you for you question!
Yes, I feel that the media can play an important role in normalizing stuttering. If more people who stutter appear on television or radio, people become more used to it. But it shouldn’t always be about their stutter. People who stutter should be seen and heard from more frequently, but in relation to other topics. That way it is not just about their stutter, but about what they have to say beyond that, if you know what I mean. Movies can help in that respect. I love how in a lot of Stephen King books and movies people who stutter appear frequently, but the stuttering is never an issue. It’s just part of who they are and that is a very important step towards normalizing stuttering.
Hi Rik!
What an amazing story! It definitelay takes alot of courage to speak up! I am currently studying to hopefully become a speech language pathologist. What advice would you give to a future clinician in terms of helping soemone accept their stuttering?
Dear Susie,
Thank you for your question, allthough it’s a difficult one for me to answer, as I don’t really know what your role as a speech language pathologist would be. I think it’s important for the PWS in question to understand that there is nothing wrong with their stutter and that is shouldn’t have to be a problem. However, this person has to stay true to themself. So if they want to overcome their stutter, that is fine too and we should help them. But the PWS should want to overcome their stutter because they want to, not because society demands it of them.
Hi Rik!
Thank you for sharing your story. I remember the first time I saw The King’s Speech. I saw it in the theatres when it was initially released. I didn’t know the impact it would have on me later in life regarding my career. Femke’s opinion is very interesting, but I’ve learned that not everything is a “one size fits all” as I’ve grown up. As time has passed, have your thoughts changed since the interview? Not necessarily about speech therapy itself but just how it went and how it may have impacted you.
Hi, thank you for your question!
I wouldn’t say my opinion has changed since the interview, I still stick by the point I was trying to make. However, in talking with people about it, I probably have become more open minded about other people’s opinions. My goal in life it to make stuttering more accepted in society, but I know there are others (PWS or people who have stuttered) who have a different point of view. And that’s okay too. People should feel free to express their opinion and have an open discussion about it.
Hi Rik!
Thank you for sharing your story! What do you think speech therapists should do when working with a person with a stutter?
Hi! Thank you for your question. I think the most important thing for a speech therapist to do is to let the PWS be themselves and not try to focus on getting rid of stuttering or speaking fluently. Focus on confidence instead of fluency would be my advise.
Hello Rik,
Like many others in the comments, I am also pursuing a career as a speech therapist. Your story was quite moving and it also upset me that the people on the show with you seemed to be very unaccepting of stuttering. Personally, the media does a horrible job of representation when it comes to stuttering, and I don’t think it’s talked about much either. I’ve done therapy with many children who stutter and have accepted it in a positive light without their friends/families/peers or even themselves look at it in a negative light that they need to get rid of. If you dont mind me asking, how have your parents/family played a role in your life when you were growing up as a PWS?
Thank you and looking forward to your response,
Cristen Opinion
Dear Cristen,
Thank you for your question! And yes, my family has played an important role in accepting my stuttering. At first they did try to help me get rid of it, getting me speech therapy and such, but once I wanted to accept it, they were really helpful. Also I had a group of friends who always accepted me for who I am. I know from other PWS that parents, families and friends can be pushy when it comes to getting rid of stuttering. Most of the time they mean well, but it causes stressfull situations. Thankfully, I didn’t experience that as much, which made it easier for me to come to terms with it myself.
Hey Rik, it’s awesome to hear about such a big accomplishment on national television! Since you have a bigger social media following now, do you plan to continue educating others on stuttering? If so, how? I am an undergrad student studying to become an SLP, and would love your input how to educate others in the modern age. Thanks!
Dear Justine, thank you for your question. I don’t really see myself as someone with a big sociale media following. Basically, I just do the same thing I have been doing for years and that is being myself 😉 I am open about my stuttering, I have a certain point of view towards it and that’s what I live by. If I have the chance to talk with about it, I do it, but I don’t go looking for opening to bring it up.
Hi Rik,
I know Fenke was coming from a place of insecurity, she felt insecure with her stutter and she is thankful she does not stutter. If there is something you could tell Fenke when she was going through speech therapy, what would in be? In addition, if you could tell SLP’s who are determined on getting rid of a clients stutter, what would it be?
Thank you, your advice will be deeply appreciated.
Nice to meet you Rik 🙂
I thought you offered an interesting perspective on showbiz and stuttering.It was fascinating to hear your perspective as an individual who has a stutter, so thank you for being so honest about your sentiments and fears that surfaced during the process.
Where do you see yourself in 5 years from now? What do you hope to accomplish?
Hey Rik! Thank you so much for sharing your inspirational story! I absolutely love the comment you made about how great it would have been if George VI would not have overcome his stammer showing that he would still have been just as inspirational. I love how you are reminding people that you do not need to get rid of your stutter.
Thank you again for sharing!
Madison Mistretta
Hello Riki! This is an amazing story! I know there are people with a stutter that will hold back from phone calls or drive-throughs. You are definitely a role model for people with a stutter. Did you have a role model growing up?
Thank you for sharing your experience!
~Crimzen
Hello Rik!
Thank you so much for your post. I truly enjoyed reading it and felt empowered by your ability to stand up for not only yourself but a whole community (on national television at that). Was there a moment in your life where you remember realizing that your stammer is not a handicap but simply a part of yourself that you do not need to be ashamed of? In my fluency class, we talk a lot about the emotional aspect of stammering and how speech therapy should target one’s feelings about themselves and their stammer. I wonder if Fenke had been told she can be successful and live a fulfilling life without “overcoming” her stammer she might’ve had a different message for viewers. Did you ever attend speech therapy and if so, did your SLP focus on the emotional aspect?
Hi Rik! Thank you for sharing your story! I am inspired but the fact you took a step and went for it to speak. Something that I think is the biggest obstacle when stuttering in public is taking that step to speak your mind. Reading your story showed me that even though there were doubts and others who had a louder voice does not mean that your voice is not being heard. I am currently enrolled in grad school for speech-language pathology, and your story needs to be shown and seen by PWS. Voices will be and are being heard. I can encourage my clients with your story and embrace them with the confidence to speak their minds even if they stutter. Thank you for your story Rik!
Hi Rik,
I absolutely LOVED how you found the courage to respectfully educate a powerful person on national television. I know that cannot be an easy task to complete. There must have been people in Femke’s life who had not given her the option of being okay with her stuttering, and thats where you came into play that day. I feel like most people who stutter who I know personally, have all been at some point and time in their life determined to get rid of their stutter. Whether it was through speech therapy, a natural recovery, or from not speaking, these people would have done anything. But then they remembered theres people like you out there, a person who stutters who advocates, inspires, supports, and educates. Nothing gets in your way and especially stuttering-like disfluencies shouldn’t get in anyones way! Keep being you and nothing else! Super inspiring story and I really enjoyed reading.
Thanks for sharing!
Leigh Loyacano
Hello Rik,
I really enjoyed reading your story. I like that you did not let the opinion of someone else influence your beliefs. And yes how awesome would it have been if George VI hadn’t hidden his stuttering and went on the radio and spoke and accomplished all that he did. I do have a question for you what would you tell someone who is stuck on going to therapy or not? What would you say to them? I am working on being a speech language pathologist and currently work with small children. But I have never thought about what I would say if someone if the asked me what they should do. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Janet
Hoi Rik
Yes, I heard about the TV show and I’m happy I wasn’t there, as I’d be so frustrated and would not have orated, but gone irate! But you kept your calm and told them what really matters: to respect people’s choice. That’s why this year’s Declaration on the Right to Stutter. Those who want therapy: fine. Those who don’t: also fine. It’s noones choice but our own. And if she was so into therapy, she should have known better than to interrupt a PWS. 😉 There’s one sentence in the King’s Speech that always makes me all choked up. And that’s not his speech. But the moment when Logue asked Bertie why people should listen to him and he replied in a loud voice “Because I have a voice!!”. To me that sums it all up.
Thanks for being our face and voice on live TV. I’ve done it and I’ve known you for some years, so you saying yes to an invitation like this shows the incredible journey you’ve made. So proud of you. <3
Keep talking, teaching and orating 😉
Anita
Hi Rik,
What an experience you had! I personally am very shy so I can somewhat relate to the anxiety you mentioned you felt after receiving that call. First off, thank you for sharing your experience with us and a strong message that a person with a stutter is allowed to make their personal choice of choosing speech therapy or to stutter. I am really glad you included in your writing about the the emotions you felt throughout your experience because it allowed me as the reader to understand the insight these emotional rollercoasters for a PWS to experience. Regardless of how anxious you felt, you stuck through with the show and continued to embrace your stutter and sent a strong empowering message to people everywhere! I truly admire this about you. I do have a question for you though. What do you believe gave you the strength and courage to speak up about stuttering and send a strong message for PWS to embrace their stutter or seek speech therapy as they wish? Also, as a teacher, how does being a PWS affect your career and experience?
Thank you,
Tiffany
Hi Rik,
Thank you for sharing this experience. I know going on live television has to be terrifying. Im glad this experience turned out to be so positive for you. It is great that you were able to out yourself out there and defend your input out for others to hear.
Hi Rik,
I really enjoyed reading your post. Thank you for sharing this emotional experience with us! I really admire your bravery in the choice to go on the show. I can heavily relate to the anxiety you mentioned, and I am not sure I would have made the same decision as you if I was in your situation. I really liked how you were determined to use this opportunity to send a message that it is okay to stutter to the public through this experience. I am a student in the field of speech language pathology, and reading your post has emphasized the importance of being an advocate for myself and my future clients and helping them in the best way possible. I admire you so much, and I am so proud of you. Thank you again for sharing your experience!