 About the Author:
Pamela Mertz is a person who stutters and is actively involved in the global stuttering community. She is a past Board member of the International Stuttering Association, and recently served on the Board of the National Stuttering Association for four years. She blogs at stutterrockstar.com and hosts the popular podcast “Women Who Stutter: Our Stories,” since 2010. Pam is the USA leader for the global employment advocacy group, 50 Million Voices, which strives to help people around the world with neurodiversity to find and keep meaningful employment. Pam recently received the 2022 NSA Hall of Fame award, which was quite an unexpected joy and honor. |
Stuttering is hard, that’s for sure
Some may wish, but there is no cure.
We fiercely want to be understood
But we’re often unable to share what’s good.
Good you say? Please, what’s good about stuttering?
When I speak, it sounds like I’m fluttering.
But that’s why stuttering is not seen in a positive light
We’re afraid and always seem to be stuck in flight or fight.
How can we change that? What might work?
It’s sometimes easier to just suck it up and be seen as snooty or a jerk.
Stuttering needs to be seen as normal and we can help ignite the flame
By speaking out and showing we’re just the same.
Because when we speak out and show we’re just like you
Others will better understand stuttering is what we do.
We’re the same – it’s how we talk
Once we normalize that, no one will balk.
We need to be seen in media and on the news
Which will help change people’s views.
One way is to hire people who stutter to play a role
Not a fluent actor who needs to learn as part of his goal.
And those who learn to stutter from those who do not
Make the role something that feels tight like a knot.
We need to challenge famous people who stutter that never do, in fact
Because they are not role models for us, to them, it’s just an act.
Let’s campaign for media to show stuttering in the movies and on TV
That normalization will help kids, teens, us and me.
We can be seen and heard by taking a chance
And have people just give a passing glance.
If we accept our stuttering and no longer live with dread
The rest of the world will see stuttering as normal instead.
Happy ISAD. I am always excited to participate in ISAD activities.Welcome! I am so glad you’ve stopped by.
Please read my poem and share your thoughts and feelings. I’d love to hear from you.
Always great to hear what you have to say, Pam! So true. Stuttering, and disabilities in general, should definitely be more visible in media!
Thank you Shiran
I think we are kindred spirits.
Today I presented to a large company here is US, on “Disability in the Workplace – Being Seen and Heard.” It was the first time this company did a speaker session on disability. The organizer shared they have a bunch of resources for other marginalized groups, but not for disability. I talked a lot about the importance of building allies, which is also a part of being seen and heard.
Some of the feedback emailed to me was that employees were stunned that this session was available and being promoted.
We all are able to make a difference.
“One way is to hire people who stutter to play a role
Not a fluent actor who needs to learn as part of his goal.
And those who learn to stutter from those who do not
Make the role something that feels tight like a knot.”
These lines are on some other level of honesty, Pamela.
Excellent read, Thank you. 🙂
Thank you for reading and the great feedback. It has bothered me for years that real people who stutter are never considered for acting roles, and portray characters who just happen to stutter. I remember reading about “The King’s Speech” that the actor (Colin Firth) was elaborately coached on how to stutter from a fluent person who had read up on it. How much more authentic it would have been for King George to be portrayed by one of us who stutter.
Pam
Hi Pam,
Thank you for your poem. I love the sentiments in this poem. I agree people who stutter should be more visible in the media and in film and tv. I would love to see more people who stutter where their story is not just about stuttering, where, for example, an actor stutters, but it is not central to the story or plot, it is just something they happen to do, like wear glasses or has particular hair colour.
I would also like to say something about famous role models. I know that can be helpful, particularly for children to see there are possibilities and potential in their life. But for me, the real role models are the amazing ‘ordinary’ people who stutter and challenge themselves every day in speaking situations,and they are my heroes because it shows that people who stutter are strong, resilient and successful in their own way.
Veronica
Veronica,
I so agree. It would be much more meaningful for kids who stutter to have real, ordinary people who stutter lead successful lives. I cannot relate to the rich and famous people who used to stutter, or won’t do so openly. I am positive that would be a more enriching experience for kids, and to have real models who are accessible. Movie and TV stars are not accessible to us “mere mortals.” 😊
And yes – we have strength, grit and resilience, which are valuable traits in this world, especially in workplaces.
Pam
Hi Pamela.
This was a really inspirational poem and it made me think of things from a perspective that I hadn’t considered before.
You made a good point about how even in the media these days, they would rather hire a fluent speaker to practice stuttering, rather than hire an actual stutterer. I felt factors like this are something that could really curve the confidence of a stutterer. Even the current President of the United States is a stutterer, and I often see him get belittled for that in the media, which I think is a real shame.
This was a really powerful poem, thanks for sharing and I’d love to hear your response!
Hello,
Thank you for reading my poem.I appreciate your feedback. Regarding Biden, I really hate how some people equate his stuttering to cognitive decline. That is why we need to keep educating using our real voices.
Pam
Hi Pam
Thanks for sharing this wonderful poem, and for continuing to educate us all.
“If we accept our stuttering and no longer live with dread
The rest of the world will see stuttering as normal instead.”
Indeed. This ties in with some other papers that I have read in this year’s conference. Waiting for the world to change to “A world that understands stuttering” does not work, since changing public stigma takes a very long time. Changing our own attitudes – that’s where we can effect chnage in our own lives.
But it’s hard, right? Hard to take responsibility for ourselves when the situation seems so overwhelming and when we feel so isolated.
What are the concrete, practical steps that you would advise to a PWS to get started on their Journey to “accept our stuttering and no longer live with dread”?
Thank you,
Hanan
Hi Hanan,
Thanks for the insightful comments and good question. You know a lot of my story, so concealing my stuttering for so long and keeping my self isolated for so long, led me to a point where I could no longer live a fake life. As I dipped my toes out of the covert closet, and then my arms and legs (😊) I began to realize that’s its far easier to just stutter than it is to constantly censor myself. It was liberating but if did take time.
Practical, concrete steps that I think would help people who stutter who are trying to move from fear and dread:
1. Find small ways to disclose that you stutter, even just to one person, and really feel how it feels to do that.
2. Find other people who stutter. That may be scary and overwhelming at first. Some people who stutter find it hard to identify with others who stutter because they might feel that then they are “labeled” as a stutterer by association, which interferes with their denial.
I strongly feel that one of the best things is meetings others who stutter. It can greatly, almost immediately, lift the veil of isolation.
3.When ready, disclose to more people in your circle that you stutter, including people at work, so that you can relieve some of the weight one carries.
4. Consider the idea that many people won’t care if you stutter – they have their own “stuff” going on, perhaps just as painful and shameful as stuttering.
5. “When you try not to stutter, you stutter more.” Really look at that and try to see some truth in that.
6. Own that stuttering is a (hidden) disability. Many of us are so afraid to label ourselves as disabled because it connotes so much negativity. In the USA, we have the Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) which prohibits discrimination of any type of disability. The law also allows for people who stutter to ask and receive reasonable accommodation at university or at work, accommodations that allow for a level playing field and allows one to find success in their jobs just like anyone else. If we don’t own disability, then we cannot receive adjustments which would just make our job easier.
7. Consider looking at stuttering as this – “it’s how I talk.” Just how I talk. We are not broken or defective, we just stutter.
8. Consider that when we who stutter talk about it, educate others and encourage allies to speak up with us (not for us) that’s how we’ll normalize stuttering, by taking the bull by the horns and being the change we want to see.
9. Consider – as you mature (old in my case!!) we often don’t care as much about what others think. We realize that there are other things we want to do. My advice is just do them.
10. There is hope! The shame onion can be peeled back for self discovery that we are OK. We will be OK.
Pam
Hello my friend I loved every word of your poem , you are so inspirational thank you. A practical step and even though I discovered it by accident, was discovering communities online for people who stutter, and finding inspirational people like you guys who were such a support to me and helped me on my journeyso much . Phyllis
Thank you Phyllis. Your voice is helping to educate the world about stuttering.
Pam
Hi Pam! I enjoyed the eloquent concision of theses couplets, which combine to create a powerful message. “Flight or fight” is also a wonderful phrase to apply to stuttering, and shows how stressful stuttering can be. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Adam,
Thank you for your insights. I appreciate your comments, as they come from a poet who knows his ways around words.
Pam
Thank you for sharing this wonderful poem. I loved “We can be seen and heard by taking a chance
And have people just give a passing glance”. Taking chances can be scary, but also so freeing. I have found that people are scared of what they don’t understand. Stuttering is confusing and fascinating. As you said, keep speaking out. We can change perceptions, and dare I say, lives. Much love to you and your involvement with the stuttering community. You are a force!
Stacey,
Thank you so much. I very much agree with “stuttering is confusing and fascinating.” That applies to both we who stutter and our listeners.
Thank you for the kind words.
Pam
Hi Pam! What a beautiful poem, I loved how you made it rhyme 🙂 I thought your message was powerful and you gave tangible actions society can take to normalize stuttering
“Because when we speak out and show we’re just like you –
Others will better understand stuttering is what we do
We’re the same – it’s how we talk
Once we normalize that, no one will balk.”
By increasing stuttering representation in the media, viewers will understand that stuttering is a different way of speaking. It is just one of the many normal things that make people different!
Hi there,
Thank you taking the time to read and leave such thoughtful feedback. I really hope we get to a point where stuttering is entirely incidental, both in “real life” and the media.
Pam
Hi Pam. Wow – what a wonderful poem. You’re very talented. Your lines were honest, influencing, and inspiring. I enjoyed how you mentioned companies should hire people who stutter to fill those roles instead of actors. That is a wonderful way to represent stuttering in the media accurately. Thank you for sharing your talent with us 🙂
Thank you Summer102,
I really hope we can get to a point where real people who stutter are seen as valuable enough to be seen and heard in the media. I think we have a long way to go.
Pam
Hii Pam, I loved every part of your poem! It was beautiful and inspiring ! I think sometimes the first step for changing anything is embracing it. We as humans need to indulge harmony and acceptance to grow from each others uniqueness. I appreciate your post!
Dana Alsadi
Hi Dana – I totally agree, change will only come when we who stutter own our unique voice and focus on correcting false assumptions.
Pam
As usual, you’re spot on, Pam. But this year you turned your important message into a beautiful and fiercerful poem! I’m so happy you turned from covert into overt, because what you say is worth repeating! You go girl, as you bring along so many people on your road to finding, and being a voice that matters.
keep talking
Anita
Thank you Anita. Lately I’ve been finding my love for writing is also swaying over a bit towards poetry.
We’re a fierce team of loud female voices, hopefully leading the way.
Pam
Pam,
Thank you for sharing this poem! Your beautiful words and flow demonstrate a great visual of advocating for PWS. I strongly agree with your calling out to media saying that there needs to be more people who stutter in key roles instead of regular actors trying to imitate a stutter as part of their job. I agree with you in the belief that if there is more representation of people who stutter in the media, more children will expand their confidence by designating role models for themselves. I would also like to see these people who stutter to take part in tv shows, movies, commercials but I do not want their stutter to be the main character trait. I agree with you that stuttering should not be highlighted as a bad thing, and more representation of the extraordinary humans that do stutter his necessary to show that PWS are just like everyone else.
Best,
Elizabeth
Greetings all!
Thank you for visiting the ISAD Online conference this year. Every year stuttered voices are heard and we hope we help bring more awareness and less false assumptions which can make it easier for young people behind us.
I hope as many of as possible read some of the many, many great contributions this year.
Thank you for reading my poem and perhaps consider calling on anyone who will listen to allow authentic stuttering voices to be heard on TV, movies and films. All the movies that feature characters who stutter are played by fluent speakers. We need to see real people who stutter fill roles, not making the role about stuttering, but rather a character who happens to stutter playing a role.
Thank you all. To both we who stutter and our allies, keep speaking loud and proud.
Pam