 About the Author:
My name is Jeffrey. I am a 28 years old PWS from the Netherlands. I am currently studying for my Social Work bachelor’s degree. I’m also working as a sport instructor for people with a physical disability. I started to develop a stutter when I was around twelve years old. Stuttering made me a very insecure, silent young kid. I always felt like I couldn’t express myself in a way that I would love to. Then suddenly, I discovered that I could sing and rap fluently. After a while I also began with composing and writing my own songs. From that moment, music has been the key of communication for me and always will be! That young insecure, silent kid has transformed into an artist that truly enjoys performing his music in front of an audience. Because, while performing on that stage, I am in charge. Not my stutter! |
I want to share a song with you I’ve written this summer at a Youth Exchange for young people with a stutter. I packed my stuff and went over there without any idea how it would turn out. It was actually the first time I’ve met so many people with a stutter. Who could have predicted that eventually this trip became the best one of my life!
This song is all about how much goodness real friends can bring into your life. For the first time ever, I can actually say that I indeed have made friends. During the camp I felt so connected to everyone, because they were just like me. Something that I never experienced before. Especially during high school I always felt so sad and lonely. Every lunch break I was sitting alone, while everyone else had friends around them listening to each other what they were saying. Meanwhile, I desperately hoped that someone finally would reach out to me for a change. Even if only to ask me: ‘’How are you doing today?‘’
Maybe stuttering isn’t my biggest problem after all. I never realised this before, but it was a lack of belongingness and missing friends around me that genuinely want to embrace me for who I truly am that brought me to dark places many times in my life. I don’t need any cure for my stuttering, because all the guys at that camp healed me already!
I wish that everyone could have friends that got your back. Someone that makes you feel special. Someone who’s telling you over and over again that you’re good enough just the way you are. Eventually, you will start to believe it.
Five years ago I didn’t even have the courage to sing in front of my own mother. But, people kept saying that I have a great singing voice and that they are really enjoying my performances. So, here I am. Ready to share my music on the world wide web!
‘’I’ve made new friends.
And I’m gonna keep in touch with them.‘’
After you heard this song.
Maybe we can be friends as well?
With love,
Jeffrey (Reganto)
Hello Jeffrey wow I just loved your post and your song I could really relate to what you were saying when I see posts such as yours. I always feel pleased, as I feel like you guys got to this level of understanding , and sharing and acceptance of your Stammer at a much earlier age then i did .I got there in the end thanks to my discovery of pages for people who stutter .So well done and keep writing those songs .King regards Phyllis Edwards.
Hello There Phyllis. Thank you for reaching out to me and that you took the time to listen to the song and give a comment about it. Since I am getting involved with other PWS I see a radical change in the way I am looking towards my stuttering. I am in a much better place now mentally and getting more confident in myself and in my abilities as well. I lived way too long in the shadows. It’s time to let everyone know what I/we are capable of!
Wow, Jeffrey, I really enjoyed your song, the feeling, the music, the phrasing everything. It’s so interesting that you say the core of things was really about belonging. I think finding our unique place in this world is something that all people struggle with at some time in their lives. You are so at home in the world of music, and that’s a truly beautiful thing.
Jeffrey, I really enjoyed your song, the feeling, the music, the phrasing everything. It’s so interesting that you say the core of things was really about belonging. I think finding our unique place in this world is something that many people struggle with at some time in their lives. You are so at home in the world of music, and that’s a truly beautiful thing.
Hello Mary Lynn,
Thank you for your lovely words. Really appreciate them!
It’s true what you said about people in general struggling to find their uniqueness in this world. Due many negative experiences being surrounded by people who taught me stuttering is a problem that should be fixed, I began to believe it after a while. I am 28. I started to stutter around twelve years of age, when people really began to notice it. For 16 years I tried to solve it, hide it, fight against it. All without any success. After I met other people with a stutter at the camp this summer, I realized stuttering is just a part of me. PDS are the most talented, creative human beings I came across in my life. Don’t hide all your capabilities because of your stutter. Life is too short for that.
Thanks again for your comment.
Wish you all the best!
Cheers,
Jeff
Hey Jeffrey!
Thank you for sharing your song and your impactful experience at the 2022 Youth Exchange. I so wish someone had been kind and reached out to you in your high school years when you were sitting alone, but I am thrilled you now have a group of people you can finally feel heard by in your life. I am glad you have come to a place of acceptance with your stutter, knowing it does not define you or need a cure, and that you have such a strong passion for music that can hopefully help others to see the beauty in acceptance as well. You are definitely not alone! Congratulations on your new friends!
Thanks again for sharing!
Tatum Carver-Dews
Hi there Tatum.
Many thanks for your kind words and that you took the time to comment on my submission.
Really cool!
It’s such a strong feeling when I am surrounded by other people with a stutter.
I feel we connect in a way so deeply that it is highly unlikely for people who are speaking fluently to achieve such meaningful relationships with other people around them. I truly believe in the end it’s all about belonging. People around you who tells you that you are perfectly fine just the way you are. Once you get to experience that, and you feel people are actually telling the truth, from there you can start working on acceptance when it comes to your stutter. In the end, stuttering on it’s own isn’t such a bad. It’s the feeling of not being heard, feeling different, not being accepted by your surroundings all because of your stuttering that hurts the most.
Once again.
Many thanks for reaching out to me Tatum.
Cheers,
Jeffrey
Hi Jeffrey!
I just wanted to reach out and thank you for sharing your song and your personal experiences as someone who stutters! I found your song to be very uplifting and truly believe it will help others. Keep up the great work!
Thank you so much for reaching out to me and for your kind words!
Cheers,
Jeff
Hi Jeffrey!
I love your song! What initially got you into music? What are some of your favorite bands or artists? I actually went to an art school for a while and studied classically since I was young.
Rachel
I always loved making music, already from when I was just a little child. My first memories of making music brings me back to the moment when I sat right next to my grandma playing piano when I was around 2 or 3 years old. Later on, especially when I start noticing my stutter, It became more like a coping mechanism to share my story with others and a way to express my feelings with everyone around me.
I started to produce EDM (Electronic Dance Music) when I was 16 years old. The Netherlands delivered so many great DJs like Tiesto, Armin van Buuren, Martin Garrix, Hardwell, Afrojack, Nicky Romero. Those guys inspired me at the time to start producing music myself.
I remember, after a while, people were complementing me about my own music. That they thought it sounded really cool. From literally out of nowhere people start talking to me. I found that very uplifting as I always felt so lonely and not being heard. Music helped me to become more confident about myself. From there, I started to take more initiative in reaching out to other people when I felt I really wanted that. I realized when you are feeling lonely, you should take responsibility for your own behavior as well. Not always pointing your finger to others like they are the problem. People cannot always guess what you really want. There’s nothing wrong with just being honest about how you want them to behave to you when you are around them. Just say hi and such wonderful things can happen!
At the moment I listen to Pop music by the way.
Some of my favorite artists are: Coldplay, Ed Sheeran, Imagine Dragons.
I also like 50s / 60s music.
If I would have a time machine, I really would love to meet Frank Sinatra. 🙂
Thank you also for reaching out tot me Rachel!
Have a nice day,
Jeffrey
Hello Jeffery,
I really liked coming across your profile and seeing your artistic way to advocate for pws. I enjoyed learning your experiences throughout your song. Its great to read that you are now in a great place in your life and have accepted your stutter. I enjoyed hearing the powerful impact of the people you meant that stutter as well, on the ways they assisted you along your journey.I admire your passion, and keep singing and advocate for your community. I can tell you now you are making a great and powerful difference in helping other people emphasize and put themselves in the shoes of those who stutter. I am so happy I came across this song and story, thank you for sharing.
Best,
Jessica
Wow! Thank you so much for your uplifting and amazing words.
It touched my heart!
Well, I don’t know if I have fully accepted my stutter. That probably still needs some time in order to do that. But YES, indeed I am heading in the right direction for sure and music played a very important role in that.
You are mentioning one of the many reasons why I am making music and why I love it so much. It helped me in so many ways to grow as a person and if PWS can find some recognition into my song(s) or find some kind of strength towards my music to keep moving forward in life, then I have succeeded!
Really nice to hear from you Jessica!
Cheers,
Jeff
Hi Jeffrey! I really enjoyed your post and song. Meeting people who we feel truly understand us is so special. It sounds like you made some really great friends during camp and I do hope you guys are able to stay in touch!
Best,
Carlee
Hi Carlee,
There were actually a few fellow musicians at the camp I have met and we are planning to professional record this song and publish it somewhere next year. So stay tuned! 🙂
And many thanks also to you for reaching out to me.
All the best,
Jeff
Jeffrey – I love this so much!
The video, the lyrics, the music, your singing and rapping. You really express the joy in finding your friends, that sense of belonging where we can be real, our true self, not having to make an effort to fit in, but truly belonging, being understood, just as we are. It is rare but beautiful and I share in the joy you feel through your video and music.
I’m also sending a general “hey – good to see you” as I remember our chats in Stamily meetups. I recall how surprised I was (in a happy way!) when you remembered some of my 2 truths and a lie from a previous meetup. Small things like this make a big difference but we might not know it.
You’re awesome and so is your music. Can’t wait to hear more!
Penny 🤗
Hi Penny,
Nice to hear from you once again 🙂
Thank you for your lovely comments about my submission.
Small things can indeed have a big impact. Sometimes it can make somebody’s day a bit more positive when they are feeling down.
I remember two years ago at an internship for my study for probably the first time ever all of my colleagues congratulated me for my birthday. I never told anyone beforehand that my birthday was at december 15th. At the time I felt lonely and I was only going to work and school pretty much day in, day out. Turns out my supervisior figured out somehow that it was my birthday on that particular day. She showed me that she cared for me. She really made an effort to inform all my colleagues about it and how it would be nice if they all could congratulate me. She probably felt somehow that I was feeling down at the time. I was so positively overwhelmed by all the happy birthday wishes. It filled me with joy for the rest of the day.
Long story short.
You are right. Small things can make a big difference. 🙂
Once again.
Thank you for your time to react and leave a comment about my submission.
Looking forward to see you once again throughout a Stamily event :0
Cheers,
Jeff
Jeffrey, what can I add that I’ve not already said. I’m so happy you stayed when you wanted to leave. I’m so happy you opened up your clam so that we got blinded by the pearl jam that is still keeping us in awe, as you keep on producing amazing work. I heard the remix the other day, and it made me cry with a huge smile on my face.
Music has been my voice too, when I couldn’t get my emotions, nor my personality out. I wouldn’t have been here at all without it. Keep on being creative, as that’ll keep you moving forward. You’re on an amazing road, taking us all with you, being your friends and fans. Don’t follow the main road. You’re not that kind of a person. Make your own tracks with your own footsteps. And if you feel lost, you know where we are.
This song (listen to the lyrics) made me think if you, It’s from the Wizzard of Oz.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_rsewkD_c7w
Keep rapping!
Anita
Hey Anita,
I don’t mind at all everytime you keep reaching out to me. With every post of yours, I am starting more to believe that I am a cool guy to know and people actually like being surrounded by me. I always told myself the opposite, and therefore I lived a life way too long in the shadows.
But here I am. Pretty much thanks to you and Sybren. You two are fantastic role models for the PWS community. You both probably don’t realize how much positive impact you’re having on PWS lives. I know for sure it helped me in a way I didn’t believe that it was possible beforehand. Yeah, for sure I am still having mental breakdowns, mood swings like crazy, feeling down, not motivated to come out of a bed in the morning. But then I think of you, Sybren, the whole Lemele experience, the most fun/crazy people (in a good way:) I have met during other activities organized within the PWS community, and then I am thinking: ” Well you know what, life turns out to be okay sometimes, let’s go for it today and make something good out of it. ”
” With you by my side, I am feeling stronger then before.
Your presence is all I need.
Life slowed me to down.
You brought me back up to speed. ”
Does that ring any bells? 🙂
Cheers,
Jeffey
Thanks Jeffrey. You now paying it forward is what keeps us going. “You’re simply the best”. 😉
Jeffrey,
Thank you so much for sharing your beautiful song and the story behind it. I would be lying if I said I didn’t have a smile on my face listening to your song and after reading about how you made new friends who made you feel comfortable and confident in your own skin. I truly believe people are shaped based on the type of people they are surrounded by, and I am so glad that you found a great group to lift you up and push you to be the best version of yourself as possible. Feeling confident and secure within yourself is so important and Im excited to see more of your future music as an outlet for your own emotions and in advocacy for PWS.
Hey there Liz,
Awesome to hear that the song made you happy somehow 🙂
Music helped me to deal with my emotions and also more specifically with accepting my stutter for sure!
Now that I am in a better place mentally, my goal is to make a positive impact somehow on other PWS lives. It would make me feel truly happy if I can make someone’s day a bit better, being some kind of inspiration to them and give PWS a reason to keep moving forward in life. If I can achieve one of these things throughout my music, I am a happy man 🙂
Dear all,
I want to take a moment to briefly thank you all for your appreciation and time to listen to my song and write such lovely words about it. I read that I brought a smile to many listeners faces. Well, reading all your comments brought one as well on my face.
” We’ve made New Friends.
And we’re gonna keep in touch with them. ”
Would love to hear once again from all of you in the future.
For now, I wish each and every one of you all the best in the universe.
With love,
Reganto 🙂