 About the Author:
Hello, my name is Phyllis Edwards. I live in New Zealand. I am an older lady with a quirky sense of humor. I have a very supportive husband, two grown sons, and a group of very supportive encouraging friends. The discovery online of communities for people who stammer was such an opportunity to meet so many inspiring, amazing people. I feel it is such a privilege to take part in the ISAD online conferences. This year’s topic seemed to come along just at the right time and I could really relate to it. I just want to say Thank you to you all for the experiences offered by too many to name. I don’t like leaving people out. But recent examples which are held in supportive environments such as Stutterfest, and then opportunities from STAMMA to record these experiences and memories, teaches me that we all can and deserve to be both ‘’Seen and Heard’’. |
I was struggling to describe how I felt when I finally realised I could both read and share my feelings at StutterFest, the event hosted by World Stuttering Network (WSN). The blend of a supportive environment and knowing others with similar experiences were sharing the same journey helped me open up and go ‘from a clam to a pearl’. I was recently reminded of this beautiful image shared by Anita Blom, and the power of being seen and being heard.
B is for Blessings
As a child, you felt blessed and happy when you noticed that big yellow daisy dancing in the breeze. When you caught sight of a big, red plum waiting to be picked at the top of the plum tree. As you discovered that your pet chicken had laid some eggs. When you were the first to hear and find the new kittens hiding under the house.
E is for Excited
Can you remember the joy of running off excitedly to find your family, and bringing them back to show them what you had discovered?
I is for inclusion
In your heart, you knew that as long as you could share with your family the treasures you had found it didn’t matter if you couldn’t get out all the questions that you wanted to ask.
N is for New
After showing your family the exciting treasures, you couldn’t wait to take your new discoveries to Show and Tell at school, where you knew your friends would be excited and interested to see your latest finds.
G is for Gentle Hands
These were the hands that ever-so-gently showed you how to collect the hen’s eggs, and how to cradle the little kittens. These same hands lifted you up high so you could pick that ripe and juicy plum from the top of the tree.
S is for Self-Belief
As our self-belief gets stronger it is such a warm and uplifting feeling to know that being seen and being heard can encourage us to be anything we want to be, and having a stammer needn’t stop us.
E is for Enriching
The joy of choosing a career in early childhood education to enrich and make a difference in the lives of others; and then realising that your life was also enriched because of the love and acceptance the children are teaching you each day.
E is for Encouragement
The encouragement of sharing understanding and empathy as we build up each other’s confidence and self-belief.
N is for Noticing
Noticing those opportunities to be seen and heard. Maybe joining a social team? Making new friends, catching up with old friends, or volunteering at your child’s preschool or school.
B is for Bravery
The courage we show when we step outside our comfort zone; breaking down barriers so that we can share our skills, enjoy, and have fun. Bravery, for when we expect acceptance in whatever we are doing or whatever we want to be.
E is for Effort
Thank you to all the group admin people in the stammering community, wish I could name you all! I want to pay you tribute for all the effort and time that you put into administration, planning events, answering people’s comments, and providing a platform for us to all interact and bond with each other—for providing us with such a supportive and caring network.
I is for Individual
A big thank you to the awesome individuals that can be found in these Facebook communities. For people who stammer, this interaction and the friendships made provide us with such feelings of warmth, strength, and encouragement. There are such good, positive vibes when we are stepping out as individuals into new challenges, as we know we have so much support behind us.
N is for Nurturing
It is really lovely when we set out to nurture others and then receive so much nurturing back. Nurturing leads us to give to others, as we continue to continue to grow and bond with each other.
G is for Groups
When first discovering the wide variety of stuttering community groups online it was such a relief, so helpful, eye-opening, and comforting. You realise you are not alone, and you make amazing connections that last forever. You get to listen to and be inspired by people who are walking the same path as you, and you can see they are following their dreams and goals and not letting their stammer stop them.
H is for Happiness
I am sure you have noticed how happiness, joy, and confidence seem to come back to us in bucket loads as we step out and get to interact with people of all ages. For example, pointing out a rainbow, or responding with genuine interest, when a child proudly invites you to watch them when they show you a new skill they have just learned.
E is for Experiences
It can be daunting when we choose to accept challenges and put ourselves out there to be both seen and heard, but they can also turn into the biggest blessing.
While waiting for my turn to come up to present at StutterFest I was comforted by listening to, being encouraged by, and presenting alongside others—such as Alexis Parker Connolly and Cody Packer.
I shared about how when I first started as a qualified teacher I was very worried I wouldn’t be able to read stories to the children at mat time, but over the years, this worry has transformed to become my greatest joy. As the children showed acceptance and love of having stories read to them I realised it didn’t matter if I had blocks, as the children knew their names would be included in the story and they looked forward to the adventures and kind words.
As I shared this story at StutterFest I got the shock of my life to discover I had been sharing verbally for about 5 minutes, and I was enjoying it—everything felt different! As I continued sharing my thoughts I felt relaxed, proud, and more confident.
The experience of sharing and being heard by others who are walking the same journey felt liberating, life-changing, empowering, and confidence-building. It was as if self-doubts had been set free forever!
A is for Acceptance
It is so good that as we become involved and share our skills and interests, we find that people just accept and appreciate us for the joy, empathy, and fun that we bring.
R is for Reaching Out
I know that reaching out and asking for help isn’t always easy! When I was letting little bits of self-doubt get in the way of taking on a new challenge that I knew I would love to take part in, reaching out for help was a comforting and helpful thing to do. I have found that reaching out builds lasting bonds, resulting in support being given and empathy being formed.
D is for Dreams
Being given support and opportunities to follow dreams, and encouraging and supporting others to follow their dreams, helps us all to become loud and proud of our stammers and make lifelong friends—what a bonus!
Thank you for sharing this, Phyllis! It feels like only yesterday that you and I were getting to know each other back in Iceland. So happy to read this submission – it brings me right back to Iceland! As always, your words have a great way of helping the reader to experience the overall message in a VERY deep and meaningful way. It was a joy to travel alongside with you within this timeline that you laid out for all of us. I “saw” the younger you with your exciting treasures. I “saw” you intentionally choosing the career in early childhood education, as you got older. I “saw” the current you with the wonderful children surrounding you as they shared their exciting treasures. And the cycle continues on and on – they will forever remember how you cared for them, and how you SAW and HEARD them, and they will give that same care to the generation behind them.
Hello Erik, Thankyou so much for your kind comments. Yes your comments took me right back to Iceland and how we all got on so well. I appreciated the empathy that your comments showed. I cant say enough how yuor workshop really helped me on this journey.And our continued keeping in touch has really helped.You guys played such a big part in me being able to move on and realise I wasnt alone. So thankyou .
Phyllis,
This poem is so creative and beautifully expressed. I love how you completely embraced the theme. I also love how you have evolved into courage and confidence.
The children you work with are very lucky!
Pam
Hello, my lovely friend Thank you for your kind comments i really appreciate it,being in touch with you has really helped me on my journey. Without you guys I would never have been able to acheive any of what i have acheived. Luv ya Phyllis.
Hello Phyllis. As a future SLP, I was so touched by your words and the feeling they evoked. It was lovely to imagine you as a child, noticing the beauty in nature and finding chicken eggs. It also seemed you were so beautifully supported by your family, eventhough you couldn’t ask the questions you answered. I also loved hearing about storytime with the children you teach and the acceptance that you share with each other. Much thanks for your endearing read.
Hello Marylynn thank you so much for your kind comments, when i first put myself outside my comfort zone several years ago, began to write for this online conference the first comments I got were from future SLPs, and I found their comments and questions, and just their desire to really help and understand the families so insightful and interesting, and encouraging. Phyllis
What a beautiful read, Phyllis! They way you told various stories (which I think come from your childhood?) were SO VIVID, I could actually feel like I was there!
Hello Daniele, you seem to pop up in my life at the right time. I had been feeling a bit anxious the past day or so because I wanted to keep writing in a morepositive manner .They were vivid memories, but when they happenned it was with a neighbour who lived on the corner more so then my own family .I wanted to include it but wishing to respectful to my family . I hope thats ok . Admin if you think this is mot appropriate then just delete it . xx
Hi Phyllis, your story is amazing, and I am so glad that your family was your #1 supporter. It is truly a blessing to have support from family, and for family and friends to understand and know how to help the PWS succeed.
My question to you is .. what does it feel like physically when you are in a stuttering episode? (ex. feeling a loss of breath, butterflies, etc.) Or are you comfortable stuttering around anyone even though you don’t know what their reaction will be.
Hello Evelin Lov, Thank you so much for your comments and question. I just want to explain in order to answer your well thought out question. So, family and friends listened at the start. But as i got a little older, I think they had thought maybe I would outgrow it.But every time I tried to ask a question, I would feel like I had a ”Tongue Monster ” in my mouth. which in turn I felt i was taking up their time. So, growing up was hard but in adult life I had supportive friends who gave me encouragement and I managed to follow my goals to be a teacher. Moving on I discovered face book groups for people who had a stutter found these amazing inspiring people. went to conferences, and when I had the opportunity to speak on the open mic although i was feeling terrified, I just knew that everybody in that room had my back and understood where i was coming from. Also, when taking part in events such as W.S.N. and sharing aloud stories and articles i have written although again it is outside my comfort zone, I just felt comfortable, and it is such a sense of healing and relief. So yes, I am getting to feel lots more comfortable but only I am sure due to learning from the awesome people on these pages and having had the experience of ”Being a woman who stutters” If you have any further questions feel free to ask. Also, I think working in early childhood helped because children are so accepting but at the start, I did need strategies such as reading stories and involving the children. Kind regards Phyllis.
I appreciate your post Phyllis, I really enjoyed reading it. I love the spirit you have ,I can sense it through your writing . I love the connection you have built with the children.
I am actually in an SLP undergrad program. I wanted to ask you a question; what is one advice you think is essential for clinician?
-Dana
Hello Dana, thank you for your comments this is not advice but just from my experience I am really impressed at the comments and questions I have had from these papers it shows the willingness and the genuine ways SLPS want to make a difference in family’s lives. I feel the building of the confidence and self-esteem is such a help, and the involvement of the whole family. In my day the speech therapy I had was so different from today. I can see from your question also the desire and understanding of you wanting to reach out to people the respect and understanding you show will help with this. I hope this helps feel free if you have any more questions. Kind Regards Phyllis.
I am really glad to hear that, thank you!
-Dana
Hi Phyllis! I enjoyed reading your writing and how you brought to light the value of being heard and seen. Beautiful things can happen when we feel known and seen by others, particularly by loved ones. It sounds like a very freeing experience.
Hello Lexie, thank you for your kind comments, yes you are right, just having the opportunity of being seen and being heard is a very freeing experience. When the topic of ”Being Seen and Being heard ” came up for the online conference I was really pleased, because it fitted in so well with the experiences I had recently had. But i know I have could never had reached the stage to be able to share in these experiences with all the support I have had from the people I met on the stammering community groups, and for that i am so grateful.Kind regards Phyllis .
Hello Phyllis,
Wow, I am in awe with your story, it is beautifully written. Thank you so much for sharing. I would appreciate your input on my questions: As a teacher, did you have a child in your class that stammered? If so, how did you make them feel welcomed into your class? I am a childcare assistant at a preschool and would appreciate your input on that!
Thank you!
– Stephanie
Hello Stephanie, thank you for your question, you could relate to what i had said I was unclear if you to have a stammer, I wondered because i have written and shared my experiences of being” an early childhood teacher with a stammer” a job I love. which I can email to you if you are allowed to send me your email address This is a subject close to my heart and has been quite a journey. I worked also as a teacher in a preschool and found from the start that I just treated all children the same and found I could build up good trusting relationships. For example, I got down to their level when talking, and just was able to relate to them. When first starting out I was worried about reading stories, but i found strategies such as involving the children, and over the years as is hard before children and their families showed me love and acceptance. I also found listening to other teachers at online conferences encouraged me to embrace my stammer more at work by using props with storytelling. Thankyuo for yuor insightful quetsion . Kind regards Phyllis.
Hi Phyllis,
I enjoyed reading your post. I love how you used each acronym to emphasize something positive. Your post really highlighted the importance of community. One line that stood out to me was “N is for Nurturing,” you mentioned the nurture we may receive back when we set out to first offer it to others. I love how you described this, it really is a beautiful thing!
Hi Phyllis,
Your poem was so beautiful and so inspiriting. I love how you shared your experience as a teacher and how nervous you were reading to your children. You said your greatest worry became your greatest joy. This line touched me in so many ways. You are a great inspiration to so many. As a teacher did you receive positive support from your colleagues and families?
Hello Carleen, thank you for your kind comments, you showed understanding of what I was meaning. I found that as I stepped out of my comfort zone, I seemed to help others and met some inspirational people, and I got so much back in the way of empathy and understanding which helped me make some amazing friends, and also increased my confidence. Kind regards Phyllis.
Hello Kirsty, thank you for your comments, and yes, I did get acceptance from the families and built up some good friendships, that are still on going. Looking back, I think the only person who ever doubted
I could do this was myself in the early days, but the acceptance I received from families, colleagues, tutors and the children’s natural acceptance, and the encouragement also form my friends who showed belief in me helped me so much. Kind regards Phyllis.
Hello Phyllis,
I really enjoyed reading your poem. I especially like how you describe everything makes it seems so real. My favorite one is E is for experience. I am so glad you had so much support. I work with elementary school children every day and if you had any advice what would it be? I am planning on becoming a speech language pathologist and was wondering what advice would you give me? Thank you in advance.
Janet
Hello Sonrie, thank you so much for your kind comments yes,” E for Experience ”was also one of my favorites because i felt i could share an experience which at had not long happened at ”Stutter Fest” another supportive event Hosted by W.S.N. where i actually realized yes, I could share aloud my thoughts and feelings and feel comfortable about it. I had shared previously, and these were great experiences too, but this time I had the experience of realizing that I could feel comfortable of and be a little bit proud of reading my thoughts aloud I think what also helped was knowing knew other people who are good friends and part of my support network were also speaking, and the support the organisers had given in the lead up to this event and contiuned to give to each of us when we were presenting So .Thank you to Tom and Tricia and your team and to STAMMA who give us the opportunity to share our experiences in print. I feel with the empathy you show in your comments, and you your interest in following your goals you will be fine. If you have any further questions, feel to ask.
Dearest Phyllis. You keep on inspiring me. And I love your creative way of explaining what stuttering is all about. You are such a beautiful pearl and you keep spreading your light! So happy to call you my friend.
Keep on spreading your beautiful light
Anita
Hello Anita, thank you so much for your comments, what I wrote was inspired also by you, you are such a great friend and mentor. You helped me become free of my fears and doubts and just encouraged me to ”carry it forward ” without your encouragement, and wise input i would have remained a clam. Thanks again I really appreciate you and admire what you do. Phyllis.
Dear Phyllis,
I love you create take on writing a poem to express your experiences with stuttering. Your positivity and comforting tone shines through your words throughout the poem. My favorite was S for self belief, although I am not PWS it resonated with me well.
Hope to hear back,
Ivana
Hello Ivana, thank you so much for your kind comments, and for showing understanding and empathy in understanding my thoughts. Gaining Self-belief was such a key for me to be able to open up and fulfill my goals.This was shown and taught to me by some encouraging people, i met o along the way on my journey. By both PWS, and other friends. Having the opportunity to attend conferences and have access to face book communities for people who stammer has also helped, as I have met such inspiring people. Many Thanks again for your comment. Kind regards Phyllis.
Hi Phyllis,
I found your poem to be really insightful and creative through the words you chose and the descriptions you gave. As an aspiring SLP in a fluency class right now, it’s so cool to see how people who stutter can embrace it so well, especially after having positive experiences. The children you teach are lucky to have someone so positive and accepting educating them.
Best,
Erin
Hello Erin, thank you for your kind comments, I think the experiences we undertake, and the people who support and encourage us to follow our goals, including both people who have a stutter, and people who don’t, allow us to continue to carry it forward and share with others. Although I was worried about it at the start, the children soon taught me, a story read by a teacher with a stutter, didn’t matter, they just enjoyed the interactive way the story was read, and if you had promised to read a story that you kept your word. Thank you again for your insightful comments, and I wish you well for your future goal’s. With the empathy you show I am sure you will do well. Also, can i ask you a question please, what a fluency class Kind Regards Phyllis.