Student LO
Hello, I am a current undergrad student. My question is what does successful communication mean to you personally, and how has your experience with stuttering changed as you have gotten older?
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Student LO — 1 Comment
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Hello, and thank you for your interesting questions!
To take the first question first:
Too often I have read statements from others who stutter that their communication is impaired, that they have trouble communicating their ideas because they stutter, and wish that they could communicate “better”. Some say that they can’t communicate at all when they have stuttering blocks.
In actuality, communication and one’s degree of speech fluency are entirely different.
I severely stutter, but I believe I have no problem at all in communicating my ideas, and in communicating exactly what I want to say. Of course, there is the whole world of non-oral communication, which is much more common and diverse in today’s society than it was generations ago. Texting, electronic mails, websites, messaging services of social media, and so on are options today that weren’t around when I was younger (I’m now 72). Telephone calls are much less required in today’s world than they used to be – with so many alternatives around for communication outside one’s immediate environment. Many who stutter, like myself, find that modern technology makes life much simpler and easier.
But putting that aside, one can severely stutter and still successfully communicate while doing so. Listeners may need to be a little patient with people who stutter, and to realize they may need a little more listening time than with a normally fluent speaker. But my experience is that the huge majority of listeners ARE patient and respectful, if they realize the person with whom they are speaking has a speech disorder. A person who stutters is not prevented from orally communicating exactly what he or she wishes – yes, they may have blocks in their speech, but the words do come out eventually. It is a listener’s responsibility to be patient and respectful with speakers who have difficulty in speaking, and my experience is that the huge majority of listeners are.
This is especially true if the content of one’s speech is interesting and insightful to others. People will want to listen and pay attention, even if the person has some difficulty in speaking. Perfect fluency of speech is not at all required in the successful oral communication of one’s ideas and thoughts. We speak a little differently than “normal”; it may take us a little extra time, but we can still speak exactly what we wish. In this respect, it’s important to realize that stuttering is a speech disorder (specifically a fluency disorder), and not a language disorder.
To address your second question, it’s a little complicated in my case, as I’ve gone through numerous phases in my life of different perspectives, attitudes, experiences, and goals with regard to stuttering.
When I was a child, I accepted that I was different from other kids in numerous ways. I had difficulties in speaking, but I excelled in other areas – reading (I learned to read when I was 3), academics, intellectual pursuits, playing piano and composing music, skills in mathematics, and memorization skills. People around me accepted me as being different, and looked up to me and respected me for my achievements, skills, and knowledge. I went through many speech therapies, but no therapy helped to improve my speech until I was in high school.
In high school, I began learning speech techniques that helped to decrease my disfluency. I later went through four different fluency shaping programs, hoping to transform myself into a Fluent Speaker. By far, I had the most success with a program that no longer exists – the Precision Fluency Shaping Program (PFSP), developed by the former Hollins Communications Research Institute in Roanoke, Virginia. Through that program I was able to reach the point of being fluent in all my situations, by practicing intensively and daily after completing the three-week program. Three months after leaving the program, I finally achieved fluency in all situations, for the first time in my life. I was then 30 years old.
I loved the fluency. BUT – there was a catch. My fluency was entirely dependent on intensive practice every single day (breathing and speech exercises), an hour or more each day. I quickly discovered that when I didn’t maintain that regimen (and due to a busy life, I really couldn’t), my speech began to fall apart. I kept going back for fluency “refresher” programs, always resuming fluency for a while, but always experiencing relapse some time down the road. Sometimes i was fluent for weeks, sometimes for months. But there was always a relapse eventually.
Finally I had enough of this. About 25 years ago, I decided to shift my attitude entirely. I began to completely accept myself as I am, with full self-confidence. I gave up the grind of daily practice. I now accepted myself as a person who happens to stutter, a person with a speech difference. And it was so much more relaxing, and so much less pressured, to finally accept this. I really had no desire to spend all that time practicing, so that I could speak fluently to everyone. Who cares? I could communicate everything I wanted to communicate, stuttering and all. And life became so much more pleasant!
I have difficulties in speaking – I severely stutter. But I still speak exactly what I want to, to whoever I want to, and whenever I want to. And if I happen to stutter, so what? If someone has a problem with that (very few do), then it’s their problem, and not mine.
Best regards in your future plans,
Paul