Questions for a PWS
Hello! My name is Emily and I am looking to major in speech pathology. I was wondering, how does stuttering affect your daily life? Have you ever been hesitant to go somewhere new or meet new people? Thank you!
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Thank you for these interesting questions!
My stuttering, though it is severe, doesn’t affect my daily life too much at present. The people who I know, including the new people who I meet, fully accept the fact that I have a difference in speaking. These days, I usually don’t shy away from meeting new people due to my stuttering.
But in the past, it was a different story. I often hesitated or was reluctant to enter new situations, and meet new people. I feared how I would be viewed by a new person meeting me for the first time.
But I made gradual progress in this area. There were a number of distinct events along the way which helped in this regard.
A speech clinician who I had therapy with for a number of years, who also stuttered himself, gave me some profound advice. I was then about age 20, and stuttered very severely. He elicited from me the reluctant admission that I then had no close friends to speak of. He advised me to start meeting with as many people as I could, regardless of how severe my stuttering happened to be. I followed his advice on the college campus where I was then a student. Soon I discovered that most people didn’t care at all that I stuttered, and were very interested in what I had to say. Soon I had many friends. I still stuttered very severely, but now I had a full social life, and was really enjoying life.
I’ll never forget the advice my late mother gave me when I was a teenager, and was reluctant to enroll in a university seminar class due to my stuttering. She told me that stuttering is like “having a pimple on your nose”. She told me there is no reason not to join activities because of a pimple on my nose. That really struck me – although simply expressed – as something quite profound. Indeed: Why should one refrain from activities because of a pimple on one’s nose?
Another series of activities that helped were eight years as a member of a Toastmasters (public speaking) organization. Nearly every week I gave a speech to a crowd of Toastmasters members and guests that typically consisted of 20 to 30 people. Sometimes these speeches were prepared in advance, and sometimes they were impromptu. Though I often stuttered severely, I began to really appreciate my ability to express myself before people, and that stuttering need not hold me back from being a speaker who people enjoyed listening to.
My stutter stopped me from talking completely. Or, that’s what I thought. But in fact it wasn’t my stutter that stopped me from talking, but the reactions from other people when I stuttered. I took on their shame, and developed fear. I was told not to speak in public, not to study, not to hope for a boyfriend or a job. (See my paper https://isad.live/isad-2022/papers-presented-by/stories-and-experiences-with-stuttering-by-pws/the-right-to-stutter-anita-blom/). Once I found my voice, my stuttering pride, my self-esteem and my fighting spirit, it was no longer a barrier that would stop me, only challenges to conquer. I have travelled the world, became a teacher, have a family and friends. Stuttering and all. 😉
Keep them talking
Anita