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Question — 2 Comments

  1. I used to find speaking on the phone one of the hardest ways to communicate. You’d think it would be the opposite because the person at the other end can’t see you struggling, blocking, blinking, pulling a face etc but it’s not so. The reason is you can’t use your tried and tested avoidance techniques like pointing, nodding etc and can only communicate with your voice.

    I can’t tell you the number of times people have hung up on me because I blocked on the very first word, they heard heavy breathing or silence and hung up the phone.

    Using a mirror when phoning helped me face my fears, taught me to lose my small tics / quirks eg rapid blinking, lip pursing etc.

    Answering the phone wasn’t as bad for me because the person phoning would initiate the conversation. Making cold calls was the hardest particularly if calling someone who didn’t know I stammered.

    The mirror technique definitely helped build my confidence and for the last 30+ years I’ve been able to can call anyone without fear or embarrassment. I still don’t relish using the phone but nowadays with video calls and texting a stammerer’s life is much easier when it comes to making phone calls.

  2. Oh that phone… I refused to use the phone, because people can’t see me when I block, and I can’t see people’s reactions to my stutter. And yet, I was always headhunted for my jobs, and had to use the phone a lot. To get over my fear, I got a DAF device, that made me a little more fluent. It wore off later, but at least it helped me to be more at ease on the phone. I still don’t like the phone, but that’s because I’m not someone who likes to call when I don’t have an errand, as all my siblings. 😉 I love to talk. Just not on the phone. I’d rather visit people to speak eye to eye. But when making tough phone calls with companies, authorities etc, I’m the one calling, as I’m bullied to silence, and I promised myself to always be true to myself and my beliefs, even if it takes a phone call.

    Keep them talking

    Anita

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