Hi Emma and thank you for your question. And for promoting awareness and advocacy, which we so desperately need are allies to help us with.

I had a lot of social support when I was a child. But when it came to stuttering, I had none whatsoever. I was told stuttering was wrong, and life would be meaningless as I was a failure, I was bullied, until I tried to give up. I was bullied by students and teachers. I was told not to persue further studies as I wouldn’t get a job anyway. I got high grades for written exams, but low grades for oral exams, as i couldn’t get the words out and they though I hadn’t studied. When I told my teacher I was bullied she told me to just stop stuttering. In my family stuttering was “wrong”, so I was not sent to speech therapy until in my teens. And to not go into too much details, two had hurt me physically and emotionally, others were so focussed on fluency, they ignored I was a human being. So I’m so happy to see that today’s SLPs are so much better, understanding, stepping outside the box and outside their comfort zones. As it’s a tough search to find something that fits that very client, but very rewarding when you do. 🙂

Things changed when I met the right people. A boss who told me I was doing a good job. A boyfriend who told me I was a great person. At the age of 27… I found a broschure about the stuttering support group. Wait, what?? Are there others?? From that moment on I never stopped talking and found my self worth. And I started camps for children and for young people who stutter, for them to found out they are not alone and give peer support.

The short answer is: ask questions and listen, before you even think of starting therapy. As we all bring different things to the table. Background, culture, religion, family, age, gender, and our many different experiences. This goes for clients of all ages. You may found out that not all clients come for total fluency. Some want answers, some want a family member to know more, some want some tools to speak with less tension, some want to practice job interviews, some are there because the parents want the child to be fluent while the child just wants to speak freely, some want help with self-esteem, etc etc. When you get a picture of the client and what they want, you can start offering a smörgåsbord. This can be all from speech training to refer to relaxation, mindfulness, NLP, speaking circles, theatre, art, presentation techniques, yoga, swimming, singing, and maybe even a combination.

Also show the way to the stuttering community. This group is not instead of, but can be a great addition to therapy. People who walked the walk and literally talked the talk. They can help with exercises, help to speak in school or at the workplace, support outside the therapy room, etc. They often have gatherings, camps and some even have virtual meetups, even international ones, with meeting friends and simply playing games together.

With acceptance being the safety net, you can start the journey of practice, challenging yourself, and go for your dreams. Acceptance doesn’t mean you’re done. It means you catch your breath and get ready for the next step, whatever that step may be.

And help me to find my true self, and my self-worth. Show me what I’m good at, and that stuttering is not bad and fluency good, but that stuttering just IS. And that it’s not up to me to make my listener happy, but maybe instead up to the listener to simply… listen. Help me to see there’s more in life then fluency. And that I’m good enough either way. But to also help me to find tools that fit me and my stutter, ways to explain to others what stuttering is, ways to meet bullies and other people not getting it. Ways to speak to my teachers. And show me the way to stutter camps, where I can be me, speak freely, without any therapy, and where my parents can come and speak with adult PWS. As the more we understand, the more we feel good enough, the more we lose the shame. So be a friend. 🙂

Most of these advices can work with both adults and children. With children however, make sure you listen to the child and not just to the parents, as they can have different goals, and the child might tell you what s/he thinks others want to hear. So have them both together and seperately. Also group meetings are good, to show they are not alone, and do exercises together, the same for parents.

Lastly: stop the counting syllables. Just because someone stutters less, doesn’t mean things are going great. It can also mean the iceberg is getting under the surface, and thus way harder to notice, and to treat. So listen not only with your ears, but also with your gut, to what’s not been said.

Sounds tricky? I promise you that, as soon as you gain your client’s trust, you’ll have an exiting road ahead, walking and working together, sharing ups and downs, and enjoy the progress, whatever this word includes for that very client.

Keep them talking

Anita