Disclosure
Do you choose to disclose the fact that you stutter to someone when you first meet them? Do you wait until you get to know them better? Do you think explaining your stutter helps or hurts your confidence in social situations?
I would love to hear your thoughts!
I would love if anybody could reply. Thank you so much 🙂
Thank you for the interesting questions!
I stutter in nearly all situations, and in nearly all sentences. So when I first meet someone, invariably my stuttering is obvious immediately.
In my case, therefore, I wouldn’t call a mention of my stuttering “disclosure” – since it is almost always “disclosed” immediately.
I sometimes mention my stuttering in conversations – whether it is a new person or not – if I can find a positive context to it in the natural course of a discussion. An example might be to mention my attending a recent national or international stuttering conference, or my plans to attend one in the near future. Another example might be how my wife first found me at an early stuttering-related website.
In the distant past, I intensively practiced fluency shaping techniques, which enabled me to experience long periods of fluency, lasting for weeks or months. In those days, I usually made it a point to mention early in a conversation, when meeting som spend soeone new, that I was using specially practiced techniques to maintain fluent speaking. I always felt more comfortable if the other person was aware that I was a person who stuttered, so that I wasn’t in the position of hiding my stuttering.
But eventually, I decided that the intensive and daily efforts that I needed to maintain consistent fluency in the long term, just were too much. Now I simply and calmly accept that I happen to be a person who stutters. Life became much less pressured and more pleasant when I decided to no longer spend so much of my time and constant effort in maintaining the illusion of being a normally fluent speaker.
Since I no longer practice fluency shaping techniques, I now stutter almost everywhere, and with almost everyone. Therefore there is no reason to “disclose”, as people always know I’m a person who stutters.
I find that when I do make an occasional mention of my stuttering, in a positive context, I feel more comfortable. Stuttering then becomes a matter-of-fact part of who I am, a disorder that I happen to have. It is not then a taboo subject, and not the “elephant in the room” that no one dares to mention or talk about. With casual mention of something stuttering-related, stuttering becomes something that “just is”. It is there, and there is no need to avoid mentioning it, if there is a natural context for mentioning it in the course of a conversation.
I hope this has helped to answer your questions!