Best advice you were given
I am a graduate student and a parent of a teen who stutters, what is the best advice you were given during therapy that has worked for you when you are having a difficult time? What advice would you give a teenager who stutters?
Hi ddcampbell55. Thank you for your question.
During my whole youth people judged be by my stutter. Family, friends, teachers, students. I remember the first time I got a compliment from my boss where he, in front of others, told me how great a co-worker I was. I also remember a boyfriend (I was already an adult) telling me how much he loved me, all included. Those were my first confirmations I maybe was good enough after all. At the age of 27 I finally learned I was not alone.
I met my people. People who know what stuttering is about. Who don’t judge you, see you for who you are and the skills you have, and who include solutions for people who stutter. I changed from pretending I was mute to not have to talk, to someone who’s a stuttering activist, thanks to people. People who told me I am good enough, that my voice (no matter how I speak) is ok to be heard, that I’m a great and intelligent person. People who see the person behind the stutter.
They showed me there are other ways to express yourself. Through music, art etc. To focus on what you CAN do and what you love doing. To realize everyone has things they don’t like, that being fluent is no garantee for happiness, that stuttering is not who you are, and that you can be a good communicator, stuttering and all.
So let your clients, and our teen, meet others who stutter. There are conferences, support groups, camps, chats, groups, etc. There are role models who stutter, but who are successful, and even making a living thanks to their stutter. Follow f ex Nina G, Marc Winski, The organisation STAMMA often shows videos of people who stutter but who are doing their thing anyway. And tell the people around your clients what stuttering is about and what to not and what not to.
In short: surround yourself with people who lift you up. And who help you find your voice, to speak up and say what you want to say, and also say what you want and don’t want other people to do or say. We need to claim our right to stutter and make stuttering normal. It’s just the way we speak.
Keep them talking
Anita