Hi Emilee

Thank you for your question to support your kiddos.

My school years were a nightmare. I was not only bullied by my classmates, but also by teachers. One refused to have me in class, as I took too much time. One let me (and only me) come in front of the class for homework check, telling me “Aha, you haven’t done your homework this week either”, knowing I simply couldn’t get the words out. (years later I asked her why and she told me she didn’t like my father…). I was also told not to go for higher education, as I wouldn’t get a proper job anyway, because of my stutter. Guess what. I became a teacher, headhunted, without a degree, and even teaching teachers.

It’s not easy to be young. You’re wondering about your future, your body, your friends, your school results, what to become, etc. Most kids at that age want to fit in. So should you be you, or try to hide who you are and aim to just fit in at all costs? And on top of that, you stutter… So you see an SLP who you think might judge you, count your stutters, use what you say against you (yup, that actually happened to me), so can you trust this person who needs to know the true you to be able to help you?

As that’s exactly what you will have to do.

1. Ask questions. Listen. Don’t start focusing on the stutter, but on the person behind the stutter. Who is s/he. What does s/he want, not only from therapy, but also from life. How are relationships with family, friends, school etc. Tell him/her that you’re not judging, not counting syllables, just finding out where s/he is, and where s/he wants to be.

2. Does the child want fluency, or is there someone else who thinks s/he should get therapy?

3. Show the way to meet others who stutter, like camps, meetings, chat groups (check out Penny’s paper on playing video games with other kids who stutter). But also group therapy to proof they are not alone and can support each other. Let him/meet other adults who stutter. Bring a friend into the therapy room and let them do homework together. But… add fun!! When it’s fun, it’s more likely to continue, and to open up. And when giving assignments, do them yourself too. Don’t give assignments you’re not willing to do. Also offer help to speak to the classroom, you or your client, or maybe someone from a local support group. To talk to the class and/or the teachers (but decide that together).

4. Bonus 😉 Teach teachers
I wish teachers would learn more about stuttering, just as they learn more about other disabilities. I would like for them to talk to the pupils and ask how they can help, as pupils themselves will not make that first move. I would invite a PWS to come to the class/school and talk to the students and teachers. I would like them to talk to the parents, as some children don’t stutter at home, but do so in school, and some parents won’t accept their child stutters. I want teachers to make sure the school have SLPs. And I want them to see situations through the stuttering student’s eyes and come up with adjustments.
Group assignments? Does the CWS get a chance to be heard? Maybe prepare a group that’s mindful and inclusive?
Raising hands? Maybe suggest that the student can point a finger when he knows and wants to speak, and raise a fist when he knows but can’t speak at that moment.
Reading out loud? Maybe a shorter passage? Not in alfabetic order? (But don’t let him skip and feel different or not capable.)
Careers choice? Not everyone stutters all the time. There are PWS who don’t stutter on the phone. There are PWS in most careers. What matters is you have the skill, the personality and the drive. If you do, stuttering might not be a hindrance. If you don’t, it’s not your job, regardless your speech.
Presentation? Maybe make a recording? Speak in front of a smaller group of friends or to the teacher only?
But do something. Don’t ignore it. Stuttering might not seem an issue to you, but you won’t know until you ask. You can literally change a student’s life, so try and be that person your student will forever thank you for your support.

I recently was at a weekend where a group of PWS who stutter practice public speaking together. With the funniest assignments, that made us ROFL! I had a social studies teacher in school who literally jumped on the table to make a point. Don’t just be the therapist. Be the friend. 🙂

Keep them talking

Anita