Hello my name is Argineh and I’m a current SLP graduate student at Baylor University. In my fluency course, we’ve discussed how people who stutter may experience feelings of loneliness or face unique challenges because of their stutter. How has stuttering influenced your personal identity, and what advice would you offer to someone who is struggling with self-confidence as a result of their stutter?
Hi Argineh,
The question is extremely interesting but also very difficult to answer.
How has stuttering affected my identity? I don’t know. I wish I had a way to compare myself with an Andrea who does not stutter, in a parallel universe.
I can tell you one thing, though. What you have affected my identity is not the stuttering, but the way I have reacted to the stuttering: I was an insecure and anxious teenager, because the speech therapist I had taught me to hide my stuttering; I am a more confident and honest teacher, because the community convinced me that stuttering is not wrong … and I could go on.
I hope I have answered your question and also underlined how important your work is.
Andrea
Hi Argineh and what a great question!
When I was young, stuttering was a problem. It was wrong, shameful, and should be cured or hidden, and I would have no job, no partner, no future. And as everyone around me said so, I thought it was true. So I tried to compensate. I tried to be perfect, at home, in school, and when that didn’t change things, I tried to be a badass, speaking up, smoking, drinking, and that didn’t change anything either. But what did happen was that I no longer knew who I was. Step by step things changed. I found the right people who helped me to find myself, and my voice. I know now I’m not my stutter, but so much more. I’m good enough, nice enough, my voice matters, and I no longer feel the need to be anyone else but me, like it or not. 😉 I wish for all young PWS to not listen to negative voices, only to those who show them the way to self-confidence, who challenge them in a positive way, and who make them strong enough to follow their dreams.
Keep them talking.
Anita