What you wish you knew
Hi there! My name is Sarah and I am currently a second year graduate student for Speech Language Pathology. I have just recently started working with children who stutter and really have an interest in not only focusing on fluency techniques but the emotions of stuttering as well. What are some things you wish you were told or knew as a child regarding stuttering?
Thank you!
Hello Sarah
I wish I was told that stuttering is not a problem, and I wish I was encouraged and mentored to speak and to stutter openly.
Doing so can prevent the iceberg of emotions, and the secondary behaviors that come from the struggle against stuttering, and that manifest in “severe” stuttering.
I wish I was educated on why we stutter. So, that was not possible since when I was a child it was not known why we stutter. We only had the harmful writings of Freud to go on, but today we pretty much know why we stutter. So, first thing is to educate the child.
Second: teach the child to advocate for themselves, unapologetically.
Third: Find ways to build resilience in the child of who stutters.
Fourth: Teach that communication does not require fluency.
Wishing you success, but please please please .. avoid basing treatment on fluency techniques. That just causes problems. Stuttering is not something that needs to be fixed. Yes, I am expressing this in a very simplistic way, and I am aware of the complexities. If you would like further discussion, even and especially if you disagree with me, feel free to reach out: hanan.hurwitz@gmail.com
Hanan
Hi Sarah!
Hanan put it perfectly. I relate to everything he wrote as it can sometimes lead to a Person Who Stutters to blame themselves for their stuttering. I did not know much about it growing up as I was avoiding dealing with it (I’m pretty sure I was in a state of denial about it) and it felt like to got swept under the rug until I started opening up about it. It’s so important to remember the emotional side of it as what you see and hear from a stutterer is only the tip of the iceberg.
I also wish I knew more about stuttering support groups and conferences growing up. Being in the presence of other stutterers is such a healing experience. Being able to be with people who you can truly relate to can make you feel seen and heard, especially if you feel very misunderstood.
Matt
Thank you for this most interesting question, Sarah!
I would have loved for a speech clinician to tell me something like this, when I was a child:
“Paul, everyone in the world is different, and that is what makes the world a really interesting place. We all have different skills and talents. I know you have so many of them – in so many school subjects and in music. You should be so proud of yourself – and I know you are, and I know your parents are proud of you too. All of us have strengths in different areas of life, and some of us have challenges too. Our strengths and our challenges make us unique individuals. None of us are the same. I know you sometimes have difficulties in speaking. But that’s a challenge and a difference that you have. Many other people too have that challenge, and they speak in a different way, just like you speak in a different way. And it is okay to have a difference. We all don’t have to speak in the same way. We are not all the same. For example: I don’t play piano at all, but I know you do. I heard that you learned to read when you were 3 years old. That’s so amazing! You have excelled in so many school subjects – I certainly didn’t do as well in school when I was your age. Okay, so you speak differently. So what? We all have our differences. And we all respect you so much for the wonderful human being that you are!”
(No clinician told me that. But I wish someone did!)
Hi Sarah and thank you for your question
I wish I was told I am good enough, just the way I am, not judged by my speech. That I have lots of skills, a nice personality, and that my stutter doesn’t change that. That fluency is not the goal, but speaking is. That there is a whole world in between stuttering and fluency, with focusing only in fluency and the rest being wrong or bad caused me to be silent, wanting to leave this planet.
I wish they told me I was not alone. I had to live in shame until I was 27 and found the stuttering community that changed my life and the way I look at life and myself.
I wish my SLPs would have listened and asked, instead of assuming. That I would have been giving options, a smörgåsbord with different things to try, including non-therapy varieties, such as theatre, art, Mindfulness, singing, yoga, or getting a dog.
I wish my SLP would have educated my teachers. That teachers asked me what would help me to show my skills, instead of assuming I was a failure. And that there would have been PWS talking in my class to show me you can have a great life with stuttering and all.
And that maybe, just maybe, stuttering wasn’t the problem, just something that’s a bit harder, and I shouldn’t have to be taught to speak fluently. But society that should learn how to simply listen. 🙂
I have some more advice in my paper in this conference. Do have a read. 🙂
Keep them talking
Anita