About the Author: My name is Phyllis Edwards, I live in New Zealand with my amazing supportive family of my husband and two sons. I feel it is a privilege to be able to take part in these writings for the ISAD online conference papers, having the opportunity to share and say Thank you to all the people who have helped transform my life.

Hello, I am so happy that we have been given the opportunity again to share our experiences and thoughts by submitting online papers. I love and can relate to the topic which poses the question of ‘How you meet challenges with strengths’, as we all share the same understanding of each other’s journeys, which we conquer and share in our own diverse ways. 

Growing up with a stammer, from a small child to now, an interesting old lady, I feel one of the ways I have learnt to accept challenges, and gained strength from accepting these challenges, has been helped by my experience of discovering these online communities’ groups for people who stammer, and the inspiring people within these groups.

I found the support and experiences from taking part in these community groups. became a valuable lifeline to me. For example, I found this was a place where people understood and could relate to the similar but diverse journey that we are on together. You were able to develop strong friendships. You could share, and talk to each other, and help each other with tips and strategies. For example, when you were thinking about venturing into a challenge, it was motivating seeing and speaking to all these inspiring people following their goals and dreams, and not letting their stammer hold them back

The first big challenge I faced was finding confidence in the beginning to apply to be a presenter. For example, when I first noticed on the World Stuttering Network page (W.S.N.)  that the team was inviting us to apply to be a presenter at their first stutterfest event. Although I was very interested in taking part, my first thought was to thank the team for the opportunity to be a presenter. Then I saw we would be given a 20-minute time slot. This worried me and I thought Oh I am not sure I can do that. What if I stammered and my time ran out. But encouraged by the patience of Tom, Tricia, Marvin, and their team, answering my endless questions, I applied to be a presenter.

And I was so pleased I did, although there were nerves, I really appreciated being able to share my thoughts at this event, in such an encouraging environment, and you just knew in your heart that people listening could resonate with what you were sharing. Just as when you were listening to them you resonated with what they were saying.  

I continued to share at these events, but when I presented at stutterfest 2025, I got such a surprise, when I suddenly realized as I was speaking, that I felt no nerves but just was proud to have this opportunity to share. 

Learning new computer skills was a challenge, but  gave me the opportunity to contribute to the Facebook community groups for people who were living life with a stammer. But still fulfilling their goals and dreams gave more strength, as by sharing thoughts and feelings it just seemed to open your world up; you learnt the diverse ways of others, how others were overcoming challenges. It was so good to find an avenue to share your feelings and experiences, for example you were able to make lifelong friends, whose friendship and wisdom I appreciate till this day

I can see now that the reason I continue to write and present and share my feelings, thoughts and experiences still today probably began the day I was feeling sad and lonely when I had just started school and I couldn’t get my words out quickly enough to say hello and make friends. Then I saw some paper and chalk lying on the ground, and I began to scribble on the paper.  And I suddenly felt happier although at five I didn’t really understand why but it just helped.

So, life carried on with a mixture of challenges and strengths. When the time was right for me to follow my dreams, I was able to study and get a degree in Early Childhood Education, 

As I began to settle into my new job, and was getting to know the children, parents, and my colleague, one day a little girl taught me the meaning of acceptance. It happened at  the beginning of my third week, when I was a mat-time support person and I  was asked a question. I began to answer, and I stammered, and a little girl rushed up and patted me on the back. I looked at our head teacher, and she said “Oh don’t worry she just thought you were coughing”.

When thinking about this act of kindness that had a big impact on me, I wondered if this little girl’s acceptance of me had begun, when in my second week, this little girl and two of her friends had brought books up for me to read to them, along with chairs for us to sit on.

I knew I had been worried about when I would be rostered on mat time, and I would want to read a story, but what if I stammered would I spoil the story for the children if they lost interest.

But the kindness from the girl, and having been a support person at mat-times, these experiences had given me strength in the form that I was now having positive thoughts about how I could face up to the challenge of reading to larger groups of children.

So, I came up with a strategy, which was I would ask a child to choose their favorite book, that they would like me to read at mat-time. Then before I began to read the story, I would show the children the cover of the book and read the title to the children. Then I would say to the children, when you are listening to the story, today you might hear your three names, and how kind you are to each other, I wonder what exciting adventures you might have today.

So, a week later when I was rostered on mat-time, I used my strategy, and you could see, from the first time, and in the following mat-times, the interest and smiles the children were showing, and their willingness to be involved. And how they used their listening skills to listen for both their names, and their friends’ names to pop up in the story, and to hear what kind deeds and adventures they were doing today. 

And for myself, I realized the strengths I gained from finding and using this strategy, to help me with the challenge I thought I had of reading to a larger group of children at mat-time, which had been worrying me in case I stammered and interrupted the flow of the story. 

These strengths included that I now felt I could present a mat-time on a regular basis, that the children would enjoy and feel involved in. I also kept the strategy flexible and soon began to introduce other props such as puppets and from that day on reading stories to bigger groups at mat-times, as well as continuing to read the books the children brought to me during the days, remains one of my favorite activities to do.  

So yes, in my experience, the challenges were there, so I would love to finish by saying a big heartfelt thank you to the strengths I found, also coming from my family and friends, the children I had the privilege to teach, who taught me acceptance, and their families and colleagues I worked with.

I find I get inspired by having the opportunity to write these online papers, but when it comes to saying thank you, I struggle with staying within the word count, but I just can’t finish without saying a big heartfelt thankyou to you all, for example my supportive and accepting family, the angel group girls, who, as we became mothers, and qualified and worked as early childhood teachers, were always encouraging and showing belief in me.

Anita Blom and Pamela Mertz, both women who happen to have a stammer, and who lead by example and kindness, have helped change my life.  For example, they would encourage you to step out and try something new and would encourage you to carry it forward, but you knew as you took that step to your next challenge, their faith in you was standing strong.

My friend Raewyn is always encouraging me and showing belief in me, and for example is now helping me to fulfill a dream that has been in my heart for a long time, by showing me how I could turn’ ‘Dillis Duck’ into a resource for speech therapists and preschools. Because having seen the body language of children, who you can see are wanting to join in, or have a turn, but they may need a little extra encouragement, such as being handed a prop or a puppet. It can sometimes encourage children to take that first step of maybe reaching out and taking a puppet that has been offered to them to hold. Then it is so pleasing for teachers to see, next time the child is offered a puppet, with more confidence, the child will reach out to take the puppet, accept the puppet with more confidence and maybe wave their puppet to the puppet from the child sitting next to them.

Thank you to all stammering communities, their administrators, and all the people who contribute to and share their experiences, thoughts, feelings and questions. I feel these groups provide platforms for us to share and encourage each other. They were like a lifeline I felt when I first found them. And how we can talk to, and problem-solve online with the diverse experiences we have. 

Also, thanks to STAMMA, who I know provide so many services, including providing  yet another cool opportunity by encouraging us to send in our stories and experiences which they publish on their pages.

Thank you, all from the bottom of my heart, because you guys are the reason. I can look in the mirror today and be proud to see a 73-year-old lady who happens to have a stammer, but I know I couldn’t have done it with you all.