About the Author:  Jorie (Marjorie) Rosenthal Foer is a speech-language pathologist who stuttered briefly in her twenties and experienced fear of speaking in groups of two or more for over four decades. She is one of the initial cadre of SLPs to become Board Recognized/Certified in Stuttering/Fluency. In her private practice, StutteRevolution, she delights in helping people discover and identify with their Self Energy and learn to trust their Innate Ability to Speak Naturally.

We typically limit our listening to what comes through our ears or eyes to inform us about the people, situations and environment around us. This is vital when the intent is to engage with and learn from the outer environment whether for enjoyment or survival. But there’s a whole other world that’s often ignored, dismissed, minimized, forgotten or misunderstood when it sends messages: the inner world of our body, mind and spirit. Our Inner Guidance System is constantly sending messages to us about how we feel; it provides feedback and reacts to threats, real or perceived, to protect us. When we listen and understand these messages, we grow and evolve. When we are unaware, ignore or misinterpret the messages, we stay stuck in a mindless, repetitive loop of thoughts, beliefs and behaviors. 

Our bodies are designed to communicate with us about all kinds of information from vast resources that are rarely tapped or valued. I have been using these body-mind-spirit resources for over two decades with my clients. I listen with highly attuned sensitivity to what my clients say about how their Stuttering System operates. I reflect back to my clients about what I hear and sense, and they either agree or disagree and clarify any misunderstandings. My intense curiosity for understanding their Stuttering System helps diminish my clients’ “Inner Critic Part” and foster their own sense of curiosity. This is “Parts Work” and it is informed by Dick Schwartz’s Internal Family Systems approach to trauma treatment.

Clients report about insights they glean during and between sessions when they see a Stuttering Part play its role. I don’t teach any speech modification or fluency shaping techniques because my clients already know how to speak with ease when alone and with nonjudgemental listeners such as animals, young children and maybe some people. Instead, my clients learn to listen to, understand, and work with, not against, their Stuttering System Parts.

You might be wondering what Stuttering System Parts are. In the ‘80s I graduated with my Master’s in Speech-Language Pathology and immediately joined the (then NSP/now NSA) National Stuttering Project. I went to their annual conferences where I met John Harrison, a guy who had stuttered for over 30 years, and like me, had figured out how to stop stuttering. He created a model based on his experiences and insights as he recovered his innate ability to speak naturally; he calls the model the Stuttering Hexagon, and he wrote a book about his journey.

John and I both see stuttering as a complex habit. A habit is defined as: an acquired behavior pattern regularly followed until it has become almost involuntary” (Dictionary.com). Habits can be understood and changed; this perspective gave me and my clients hope. John’s book is loaded with insightful, compassionate ways to recognize and listen to the voices within in order to change the subconscious habits (Parts) associated with stuttering. I adopted the Hexagon as my initial road map and after ten years of using it, I added Intuition to its center. You can read more about that in a 2002 article of mine.

John’s Stuttering Hexagon includes the following components: Behaviors (primarily stuttering, denial and avoidance), Emotions, Perceptions, Beliefs, Intentions and Physiological Responses. He and I conceptualize stuttering as a system of interactive elements. When one or more of these seven (with Intuition in the center) elements are triggered and the PWS resists or supports the Stuttering Part (like the Belief Part “Perfectionist”, or the Emotion Part “Embarrassment” or Intention Part “I Will Not Stutter”, etc.), the Stuttering System is activated with each Part dutifully playing its role.  

However, if the PWS is aware that a certain Part has been activated and asks that Part in a curious, nonjudgmental way why it is here and what it is trying to accomplish, the PWS has the opportunity to listen to that Part’s response and learn about how that part of their Stuttering System functions. 

As clinicians it’s our job to help PWS listen to their Inner Wisdom, their Intuition. When we listen within, we learn to trust that we have all the answers. My clients invariably discover that they indeed can speak with ease when their Stuttering Parts feel heard, validated and valued. VALUED??? WHAT? Stay with me here. The following is an example of how this type of listening within can work.

When my client, Phil, initially debriefed with me about his first solo guest podcast, he told me that he didn’t think he had any big blocks, but that he felt like he was “all over the place” (disorganized thoughts) and he blamed the host’s poor interviewing skills. He said that he felt like he had to keep talking to fill in air time. I became curious. Was there a true need to fill air time, or was Phil perceiving it that way? 

He also told me that he was shocked and thrown off when the host started the interview by telling Phil that he always asks guests about how they decompress and care for their mental health after a long day or work week. Obviously Phil hadn’t listened to this podcast prior to his own interview, so I asked why he hadn’t listened; he’s always super prepared for meetings at work. He said that he didn’t want to know if he had to introduce himself, because he was concerned that this would set his worry and ruminating into motion. 

Phil asked if I would watch the podcast and then meet with him to give him feedback about what I saw that he could improve. I did watch and readily saw that the interviewer was relaxed and did his best to put Phil at ease at the outset, but Phil admitted to me that he felt fairly anxious at the beginning and the initial question made his anxiety soar. It took a while to settle his nerves. 

Phil has huge “Protective Parts” that ensure he doesn’t experience or talk about his emotions. This request to share his mental health activities had his Parts scrambling to figure out how to avoid answering the question. He managed to talk about whatever popped into his head regarding his business and typical work day, that’s what he was prepared to discuss. That was his comfort zone. But that wasn’t what the host was asking about!

I brought my computer to the following session and we watched and discussed almost nine minutes of the 30 minute podcast over an hour and a half. Phil told me that when he watched the podcast at home, he noticed a lot of filler words and that he closed his eye once (as a facial grimace/behavioral release of a block). He was still focused on how he looked and sounded, not on how he felt or how well he connected with and responded to the interviewer. He also reiterated that he thought the interviewer was not very skilled which made him talk longer than was necessary.

As we watched together and I asked questions about why he continued repeating his answer after answering the question, Phil realized that he chose to keep talking about work in a redundant fashion because he was avoiding the question about his mental health activities. Avoidance is a Part that Phil is very familiar with. When I asked him to listen (within) to what Avoidance had to say, Avoidance shared that it was doing its best to protect Phil from the pain of sharing his emotions in public.

Avoidance is a diligent Part that also functions in direct response to avoiding “Looking like a fool” (Phil’s words) when it anticipates a major block or facial grimace. Unfortunately, when Avoidance is doing its best to protect Phil from harm, it is actually triggering the behavior pattern it’s trying to avoid. Avoidance is a key Part of Phil’s Stuttering System. 

When I asked Phil if he would have avoided watching previous show podcasts prior to the interview if he didn’t stutter, he seemed stunned by the question. After some silence he responded “I don’t know.” I called him on that. “You told your business partner about the mental health question because you thought he should have a heads up before he goes in for his interview, and he doesn’t stutter. Clearly you believe that it’s important to know this information before the interview.” He agreed and recognized that he wasn’t being honest with himself. His Avoidance Part had muted his ability to hear his True Self. Phil was able to hear his Inner Wisdom when I echoed its message. 

How does this process help us Value a part? Once we understand how and why a Part behaves the way it does, given our history, we can see that it only has our best interest at heart. This Avoidance Part helped Phil not listen to the podcast in advance so that he wouldn’t worry about saying his name. But when enough of Phil’s Authentic Self showed up to learn about how to improve for future interviews, Phil learned that the Avoidance Part’s value system was different from his own. He would rather not “Look like a fool” by not answering a question or repeating certain points about his work day, than possibly block on his name. And, when he thought about it, he hadn’t blocked on his name in a while, this was an old Part that was hyper-protective because it was his first solo interview. 

PWS naturally override/deny/ignore their inner messages of tension, heat, increased heart rate, dry mouth, and whisper of a memory that says “You know how to talk naturally when alone; allow yourself to be in that state of being.” Instead, PWS have Parts that trick them into valuing pushing or easing through blocks because this results in a release of easier speech. Ending the block subconsciously rewards the stuttering behavior cycle. 

The brain is wired to respond faster to saving us from “dangerous” situations, such as the proverbial tiger, or the pain of embarrassment when stuttering, than it is to bringing us pleasure, such as eating ice cream or relaxing and telling ourselves that indeed, we have the innate ability to speak naturally, just like we do when alone. So focus on how you want to feel in this moment, and allow yourself to shift into the desired state of Being Who You Truly Are – the one who can speak with ease when alone. The second, honest way of working with the Stuttering System’s Parts feels like it takes forever and puts PWS at risk for more embarrassment, so the inclination is to ignore this option. This is a NORMAL response to a painful situation. As humans, we’re created to move toward pleasure (safety) and away from pain (threat).

The best way I know to change this habit-loop is to start with Awareness. PWS typically have a skewed sense of time. In dangerous situations, time stops or slows. It’s important to Own Your Time so that you can apply the OWLS-C: Observe how you feel and what your Stuttering Parts are doing, Wait for these behaviors to settle, Listen to what your Parts want you to know, and apply Self-Compassion. Self-Compassion, as described by pioneering researcher, Kristin Neff, is being aware that you’re suffering so that you can turn within, recognizing the common humanity of suffering that we all would experience in that moment and being as kind to yourself as you would be to a friend in the same situation. All answers lie within: Listen And You Shall Hear.

Harrison, J. (2011). Redefining Stuttering: What the Struggle to Speak is Really All About (1st ed.). National Stuttering Association.

Neff, K., PhD, & Germer, C., PhD (2018). The Mindful Self-Compassion Workbook: A Proven Way to Accept Yourself, Build Inner Strength, and Thrive (1st ed.). Guilford Press. https://self-compassion.org/what-is-self-compassion/ 

Schwartz, R., PhD (2021). No Bad Parts (1st ed.). Sounds True.