Rik MetsAbout the Author:

My name is Rik Mets, 29 years old, happily married, cat-daddy and living in Bunschoten, The Netherlands. I work as a history teacher, mentor and coach at a secondary Montessori school in Almere. My spare time I try to fill with reading, writing and occasionally playing the guitar.

For as long as I can remember, I have stuttered. So long in fact, that it has become a part of who I am. In my teenage years, I was struggling to get rid of it, doing speech therapy and generally feeling embarrassed by it. Back then, I saw it as a goal to become a fluent, aka ‘normal’ speaker. As I got older, and coming to terms with the way I speak, I saw it as my goal to show others that there is no such thing as ‘normal’ speech and I was actively trying to convince others not to take speech therapy. Time, and meeting other people who stutter, has taught me that there is no straightforward way of dealing with a speech impediment. With this year’s ISAD theme being ‘one does not fit all’, I want to share a story about two very opposing views on dealing with stuttering.

As people who stutter, we have daily encounters with others that involve our stuttering. Some are funny, some are awkward, some are downright annoying. Back in 2019, I had one that just blew my mind. Here’s what happened. This was when I was living in Gouda, known to most non-Dutch, and quite a few Dutch, people mainly for its cheese. It being Easter, the weather was lovely, and I was walking through the town centre, when I came upon a group of evangelists. They were handing out pamphlets and talking to people about God. Now, I have great respect for the work these people do, however, although I am a Christian, it’s not something I see myself doing. So I still do what most of us do: I try to avoid them. Walk around them in a big circle. That didn’t work this time. 

One of them, a man in his forties-something, came up, stood in front of me, thus blocking my outflanking maneuver, and started asking me about what kind of day it was (you know, Easter) and if I knew what the importance of the day was, et cetera. I was not in the mood for a conversation, but I indulged him and answered some of his questions. At that point, he heard my stutter and jumped on it like a lion on it’s prey. 

– ‘Do you know,’ he said, ‘that God can cure you of your stutter?’
– For sure, I said, but it’s not a question of what God can do, but what I want Him to do.
– ‘But you have a defect, you are not perfect. God wants people to be perfect.’
– So you don’t think I’m perfect because of my stutter? Well, that puts a smile on my face….
– ‘No no, I didn’t mean it like that. But why won’t you let God help you cure your stutter? If you pray, God will answer.’
– Let me just say that I don’t see stuttering as a disease that needs a cure. And yes, maybe He will answer my prayers. But again, in my opinion it’s not about whether God has the power to cure me or not. The real question is, do I want to get rid of my stutter? Because if I would want that, I could go to speech therapy or pray to God and who knows, in a couple of months or years my stutter might have disappeared. But who says that’s what I want?
– The guy looked at me flabbergasted.
– ‘So, you would settle for a 9, when God gives you the opportunity to go for a 10?’
– Okay, dude, now you are just being rude. You do not know me, you don’t know anything about my life, but based on this one conversation you are saying that my life is not perfect because of this little impediment they call stuttering.
– ‘Yes, because haven’t you ever had people laughing at you because of your handicap?’
– First of all, I’m not sure if you can really call it a handicap. I can speak, you know, it just takes a bit more time. Secondly, of course people have laughed and still laugh sometimes at the way I speak. But it doesn’t stop me from doing what I like to do. No, my life is not a 10, it is not even a 9. But it has nothing to do with my stuttering.
– ‘But God can cure you of it. Wouldn’t that be a miracle?’
– You want to know what a miracle is? I teach History to over two hundred teenagers weekly. I show my students and my colleagues daily that it is possible for someone with a speech impediment to have a voice and to be able to use it. I have been on national radio and television talking about it. That’s a miracle and I’m grateful to God for that.
Now, you might say I am not perfect. Indeed, I am not, but this is the way God created me. I could hide in a corner and never talk to anyone, and I would be miserable. Instead, I go out there every day and teach, because God gave me a talent and I’m not going to waste that.
Good day, sir.

Loading


Comments

God Can Cure You – Rik Mets — 31 Comments

  1. Hi Rik – your essay title jumped right out at me – not because I believe God could cure stuttering, but I wanted to see if you thought this had worked for you. It’s strange how un-Christian Christianity can be. I’m grateful you are not wasting your talent and you are helping the world to be more familiar and less surprised with stuttering. Thank you for taking the time to submit!

    • Like the reply above, I also was intrigued by the title of this article, not because I believe in God, but because I wanted to get your point of view on God and the position He plays within your life as a person who stutters. I wish I could say I was shocked by how this guy interacted/responded to you stuttering. I am grateful for the gift of teaching you have, and how you continue to utilize such talents to impact so many children. God created you specifically for this purpose and this time. He is very intentional to place you in this specific moment to share your story and allow others to get a small glimpse of your life. Thank you for taking the time to share your story here.

    • Hi Rik! Like a bunch of other people your title jumped out at me. As a christian I was curious to see what point of view you were going to be writing about. I am sorry you had to deal with that person, but I think you handled It very well.
      In my class we were required to read an article and ask a question and then respond to a discussion board with our question and the writers answers. So my question is , even though you look at your stuttering as a talent, are there ever days that you wish you would have done speech therapy in your childhood and early adulthood? Do you ever regret not going?
      Thanks
      Emmie

  2. Hi Rik! I was looking at the names of the articles presented so far and yours jumped right out to me! I was intrigued and had to know more! I am also a Christian and the number one thing I get disheartened about is when individuals who claim to be very religious and are doing God’s work, are the ones casting doubt and that if you are “not as perfect as them” you are not worthy in God’s eyes. As I was reading the dialogue between you and the evangelist, my jaw dropped and I instantly felt so bad that you had to go through that situation. BUT, you handled the situation gracefully and the little voice inside my head was saying, “GO RICK!” I am so happy that you are using your experiences as someone who stutters to change the world and empower young minds for the better! I read in the dialogue that you had the last word and my question to you is that I am itching to know what that individual responded with. His jaw should have been on the ground! Thank you for taking the time to share your story here and all of the positivity and awareness you share about the stuttering community!

  3. Thank you Rik for sharing this story! I’ve heard people say they have been told if they pray for a cure for stuttering, they can be cured.
    I am glad you were able to stand up for yourself, and have the last word.
    How one views stuttering is in the eye of the beholder and the ear of the listener, eh?
    But in also how we who stutter convey our attitude of self acceptance and confidence.

    Pam

  4. This title grabbed me, because I have heard that exact phrase said to me before. You handled the situation very well. Glad to hear you are not wasting your talent.

  5. Hi Rik,

    Thank you for sharing this insightful story.

    I abhor people like the one you mention. What would he say if you prayed and prayed and prayed and you still stuttered. He would probably blame you, and say that you did not pray hard enough or with enough sincerity, or that you have some hidden sin. Some of the not-so-good speech therapists are like that, too.

    And if there is a god, why would she create you with a stutter in the first place? Hmm, perhaps the god is not so perfect?

    Thanks again, Rik

    Hanan

  6. Hi, Rik! I would first like to thank you for sharing your story! As a Christian myself, and much like the others who commented, the title drew me to your article. I am sorry you had to endure an encounter like this, but I am glad that you handled the situation with grace and maturity. I hope that the evangelist took your words and learned something that day. I was always taught that God made us perfect in His image – we are exactly how God planned for us to be. You are made exactly how God planned, and I am thankful and hopeful that your story can reach the lives of others. Having a stutter does not make you “imperfect” or “handicap”, and it certainly does not make you less than anyone else. Thanks again for sharing your story.

    – Kinley Pepper

  7. Rik, thank you for sharing your story. You are an inspiration. I love your last statements: “This is the way God created me. I could hide in a corner and never talk to anyone, and I would be miserable. Instead, I go out there every day and teach, because God gave me a talent and I’m not going to waste that.” Thank you for using your talent. Thank you for sharing your contagious confidence of individual worth. Your students are lucky to have you. I entered the field of speech language pathology because I genuinely want to help others in their journey to be able to confidently communicate their thoughts and ideas just as you have done here. What advice would you give to a new, learning speech language pathologist?

  8. Hi Rik,
    Congratulations on doing such a wonderful job advocating for yourself. This sounds like a very difficult situation and you handled it with such grace. As a believer, you were particularly qualified to shift the way this person views stuttering in terms of religion and you should be proud. I think it is so cool that you use your position as an educator to show that your stutter does not prevent you from using your voice. Thanks for sharing!

  9. Hi Rik, I really enjoyed reading your post! We learn a lot about self-advocacy with people who stutter and I think it’s great to see an example of how this was used in real life. Also I think it’s great that you were able to flip the narrative of God “fixing” something back to saying he gave you something and you were going to use it. I feel that way with a lot of events in my life. It’s very inspiring to see people using their voice to do good, instead of cutting people down. I’m happy I came across your post!

    -Cadyia Pugh

  10. Rik, I absolutely love your testimony and how you have embraced how God created you. You are right–no one is perfect, and God creates everyone uniquely. I have always believed that God creates everyone on purpose and for a purpose; it appears to me that you truly are living out your God-given purpose by pursuing your dreams and being a powerful example to others, despite having challenges with speaking. Embracing our imperfections allows us to grow and live out our lives the way God has called us to. I am inspired by how you appreciate how God has created you and are using your gifts to make a difference in the world.

  11. Rik, I appreciated how you talked about the stages of being a person who stutters. Your examples of going to speech therapy as a teenager with the goal to “become a normal speaker” to when you got older and wanted to convince others to not take speech therapy because there is no such thing as “normal” made me realize the realm of experiences and emotions a person who stutters must have.
    The conversation that you had with the evangelist who said “God can cure you of stutter” was astounding, and your responses were brilliant. He talked about a stutter as a defect and needing a cure. His analogy of settling for a 9 when you have the opportunity to be a 10 was just as offensive I would imagine. I appreciated your definition of a miracle of teaching history to teenagers weekly and using your talents. It’s about perspective, but it is also about culture and respect. This man knew nothing about you except that he heard you stutter, and from that he made multiple assumptions. Is his action from cultural values? How to change that? How would another person who stutters think and respond to that situation?

  12. Rik Thankyou so much for sharing what you shared.I thought it was amazing it included humour, wisdom, kindness and that having a stammer doesnt stop you from following yor dreams.I am going to print it out hang it on the wall because it just resonated with me so much. . I am an early childhood worker with a stammer and since finding the stammering communities on line, a few years ago I have been inspired to embrace my stammer more So thankyou i loved it.

  13. Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am sad to hear that people can be so uninformed, but you handled the situation so well. You stood up for yourself and your community, and I hope that your wisdom was heard by this person. You are inspiring others and that is so important.

  14. Rik, thank you for being vulnerable and sharing your story. I think the world is so steeped in the medical model of disability that they can’t see that the person themselves may not be the problem, rather the environment and society that they interact with. Although these evangelists were trying to teach you a lesson that day, it seems like you turned it on them to learn. Learning from other’s experiences that are different from mine is truly the best way I’ve known how to learn. Thanks again for sharing your insight and experiences!

  15. Hey Rik! Thank you for sharing the story. I’m really inspired with how you dealt with the situation, and how you managed to turn it around. It is indeed a beautiful miracle that you teach, despite people, or even your thoughts, telling you that you can’t do it. I think you are an inspiration to many of us pws.

  16. Hi Rik, thank you for sharing your powerful story. I was moved by your encounter with the man and how you boldly spoke out for yourself. I admire that you gracefully educated this man on his biases of stuttering and advocated for yourself, when you are the one who knows yourself best. I think the world can be so quick to judge the person on the outside and do not take the time to truly connect with the person within. I think you left the man with a perspective change on no matter how you talk, we all have something worthy to say, and our words have an impact. Thank you for your courage and ability to be human!

  17. Wow. thank you so much for sharing this, Rik. I find it highly problematic and infuriating that anyone would say this to you. It’s interesting how some people of “faith” can try to play on insecurities, or create insecurities in order to manipulate people for their own agenda and then in the same breath tell others that it is “god’s will” that things haven’t fallen in their favor. But that’s beside the point I guess. I commend you for speaking your truth and for point ing out to this man that he was being highly presumptuous, insulting, and short-sighted.

  18. Hi Rik! The title of this story really jumped out at me and I had no idea of where it going to lead. I am saddened to hear that you were treated so poorly. I loved your answers and your sense of self worth and pride that shone throughout your post. This has been the most moving and impactful post I have read this ISAD. Keep sharing your story and spreading your light. As a Christian and SLP to be this is powerful and something that I will carry with my in my interactions and treatments. I appreciate you sharing your hard experience more than you know. Best.

  19. Hi Rik!
    Thank you for telling your story. When I first read your title I thought it was going to be a story about you seeking and wanting a miracle for your stutter. Thank you so much for opening my eyes and making me realize that not everyone wants to be cured from stuttering. It is essentially apart of who someone is and why would we think negative about it? I am a Christian SLPA/ soon to be SLP that believes in miracles. So thank you for your showing me a different perspective!

  20. Your stories always bring a smile on my face and I missed listening to you this summer. May God cure those people who keep giving us those “#¤%& comments. I’m raised with “not good enough” or “if you would only stop stuttering”. I can see this exact situation before me, and the expression on yuor face facing this man. I wish I was there in person. 😉 This too is raising awareness. Not shouting it off the roof, but simply wake people up by your replies.

    Happy ISAD, and for God’s sake, keep talking 😉

    Anita

  21. Hi Rik! I really took interest to your story as a christian future SLP. I really value this perspective and totally agree that a stutter is something to be celebrated and not wished away and I’m glad you think the same! I was wondering if at some point in your life you had a different perspective on the situation and prayed the stutter away? What was the turning point in realizing your stutter shouldn’t be seen in this way?

    Thank you for sharing your story! -Emory Langley

    • Dear Emory, thank you for your comment and question. I think as a teenager I used to pray to get rid of my stutter. Not often, but every now and then. As a young adult, that changed and I just accepted it as a part of who I am (not that I was happy with it at that point, I just realized I probably wouldn’t get rid of it anytime soon). The turning point in really accepting the way I speak came when I started teaching.

  22. Hi Rik! When you said, “Let me just say that I don’t see stuttering as a disease that needs a cure. And yes, maybe He will answer my prayers. But again, in my opinion it’s not about whether God has the power to cure me or not. The real question is, do I want to get rid of my stutter? Because if I would want that, I could go to speech therapy or pray to God and who knows, in a couple of months or years my stutter might have disappeared. But who says that’s what I want?”. WOW! This is SUCH a great perspective to have on stuttering. People who don’t stutter automatically assume that PWS want to change the way they speak when in reality, they may want their voice to stay that way because that is who they are and don’t want to change because someone else thinks the way they speak is wrong. I agree with you 100% when you said God gave you a talent, because he sure did. Thank you for the inspiring video!

  23. Hi Rik,
    Seeing the title of your paper made me want to come see what it was all about! I like that you told it the way you feel and that you continue to live your life to the fullest and teach students every day! I think that is a huge accomplishment to go in front of so many students and for them to not say things to make you never want to do that again. I feel like students are not raised like they used to be and and not very nice to people that they consider different than them. I love your last bit of information after the miracle question. God has a plan for all of us and I’m glad you are following what he wants you to do!

  24. Hi Rik,
    I am so thankful for you sharing your encounter and how you used this as a teachable moment. god made us human, and no human was made to be “perfect”. Therefore we all have something we are dealing with in life and that brings honor to God to use us in our imperfections as we help each other. I love how you said that stuttering is your God-given talent. Moses had a speech impediment, yet God spoke to him to go to Pharaoh. This is what makes me so passionate about becoming a future SLP. It’s all about how you are using your voice to make a difference. Your story is such an inspiration and will help so many.

    -Kaitlyn

  25. Your encounter with the evangelists, though not a positive experience, serves as a powerful example of how one’s faith traditions can sometimes lead to a distorted perspective. In the context of our field, the intersection of faith and healthcare decisions is something I hadn’t previously thought about as religion can undeniably wield a significant influence over choices.

  26. Rik,
    Thank you for sharing your story. I am so glad you have been able to embrace the way that God made you rather than blaming Him. Thank you, also, for not letting a stutter prevent you from impacting the lives of 200 teenagers or forcing you to withdraw into yourself and hide your gifts. I cannot help but think how many students you inspire by doing something you love, even though it is sometimes difficult. Everyone has some kind of “imperfection” that they can allow to hold them back whether it’s a challenging home life, a learning disability, a speech impediment, or even extraordinary shyness. Kids need to see that the challenges we face do not need to keep us from accomplishing our dreams, and that is okay not to be “cured”.

  27. Wow! What a great audience-catching title. It would be really easy to get off track on the purpose of this post. Way to hold your ground and share the real miracle here. Seriously, I don’t know how you teachers do it. I know it’s taken struggles and low moments before finding acceptance, but you sharing your story is just a reminder to people with a stutter and SLPs that there is no normal, no one is perfect, and we need to accept who we are. SLPs and people with a stutter can work together to find something that is acceptable to the person with a stutter, but it is more about support acceptance. Thank you for that reminder.

  28. Dear all,

    First of all, thank you for all the kind and wonderful comments. The fact that you took the time read or listen to my little story always makes me a bit giddy. I wish I had time to respond to all of your comments and questions seperately, but I just didn’t manage this year.

    I think the main thing I wanted to say with this story is that you should never feel pressured to ‘cure’ your stutter. If you want to get rid of it, sure, go for it! There is speech therapy, support groups, all kinds of things that can help you. And yes, even prayer might help 😉 But do it because you want to, not because others tell you to. If you are happy with the way you speak, then just leave it the way it is.

    Of course, this is not such an easy thing. I too have struggled for years to reach this level of acceptance, and the struggle continues. But society won’t accept stuttering if we as PWS’ don’t accept it first. That is a struggle worth fighting.

    Best of luck to you all and ‘see’ you next year’s ISAD!