About the Author: Geoff from South Australia is the father of two children and “Poppy” to five granddaughters and one grandson. Geoff was a chronic overt stutterer since the age of 3-4 years and stuttered out-of-control most of his life despite continuous traditional speech therapy. Geoff joined the McGuire Programme in July 1999 and found he related easily to the holistic and “sports mentality” of the programme. Geoff, a life-member of the Australian Speak Easy Association, was the Regional Director of the McGuire Programme in Australia for 13 years retiring from that role in November 2014. During that time Geoff was involved in instructing and coaching over 1,000 people who stutter. He regularly speaks to community groups, at conferences and is interviewed on radio and television. He is passionate about helping people who stutter to gain control over their speech and achieve “quality of life” changes.

I love the theme of the 2021 Conference, “Speak the change you wish to see.” If we wish to be more effective speakers, change is critical not just around speaking but changing our relationship with the world!

If we are to “recover” from stuttering, a holistic approach is necessary involving changes to how we see ourselves interacting with people and our environment. Changes to the meaning we give to situations, changes to our inner dialogue, changes to our perceptions and beliefs, and changes to our emotional responses to situations, particularly speaking situations.

I do use the word “recovered” because I know dozens of people around the world who qualify as recovered stutterers.

My definition of recovery has little to do with fluency, has little to do with perfect speech. It has all to do with overcoming the fear of stuttering thereby not allowing stuttering or thoughts of stuttering to play any role in our lives. We can say what we want, to whomever, whenever without holding back or having abnormal fear of judgement. There may be habitual residue of the physical habit of stuttering from time to time, but it took me a lifetime to realise that in the main, people do not really care….so why should we care so much!!

Immediate results during and after intensive treatment are impressive. The intensives provide a supportive environment with total acceptance and support. However, we all know this is “magic fairy dust” and generally those skills and feelings of self-confidence are difficult to transfer to the real world. The end of any intensive treatment is just the start of a long-term process of change and a new belief system around our speech. 

Why immediately after an intensive course, success is high, only to drop away with time? There is more to stuttering than stuttering. Changes in other areas of our lives are required!

Let us think about why other people are successful in their endeavours whether it be sport, career, academia, etc. and then apply those behaviours to the stuttering world. If you want to get good at something, find someone who has been successful in that activity, find out what they did and do the same things with similar passion, bravery, hard work and persistence and you will likely have a similar result.

I recently read an article “7 Things Successful People Do” by Nick Ortner, published by The Tapping Solution which got me thinking, how could I apply Nick’s principles below to people who stutter? My observations have been formed while running around 70 x 4-day intensive courses for more than 1,200 people who stutter over 14 years in Australia and New Zealand. Those courses were for the McGuire Programme.   

1 – They first change how they think and feel

How does this apply to People Who Stutter (PWS)?

Changing how we view situations, particularly speaking situations, will change our inner-dialogue and provide a different emotional response. “If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change” (Dr Wayne Dyer). Stop thinking of ourselves as a stutterer, but rather as someone who speaks with a stutter sometimes. Embrace the belief that stuttering does not define who we are. 

Ownership is the first thing for any personal development shift whether that be giving up smoking, losing weight, changing out speaking behaviour, etc. Eliminate the victim mentality. Stop blaming others. We think blaming our parents, our boss, our partner somehow gets us off the hook! 

However, behaviours are not changed by retaining the status quo. We need to widen our self-concept to accommodate the new roles – otherwise our existing self-image will continue to impose its restrictions. 

It is only by realising that we are in charge, that progress can be achieved. I ask, who is driving your bus?

2 – They believe they deserve success

How does this apply to PWS?

Many PWS lose hope and have little faith when presenting for treatment because of failed treatments in the past. They have an unhealthy dose of self-hate and loathing which must be addressed if they are to progress their recovery. 

Successful people believe they deserve success and pursue their goals with bravery, hard work and persistence. They shut down the “self-critic!” 

Unsuccessful people tend to give up when the going gets tough! They dwell on reasons why they don’t deserve success based on past perceptions and possibly negative feedback from their social environment. e.g., “you’re lazy,” “you’re the dumb one of the family,, “you can’t talk!”  

How do we turn that around?

Change those limited beliefs by having a go, not expecting perfection and focus on our intentions rather than our expectations or the perceived expectations of others. By having success in situations we would normally avoid, we begin to believe in ourselves and our capabilities.

Fear and self-doubt figure prominently in the lives of many people, not just those who stutter. They can sabotage hopes and aspirations. When left to our own devices, it is possible that we may never summon up sufficient courage to face the issues that impede our progress. However, we can gain confidence and encouragement by leaning upon the experiences of others by joining support groups, using coaches and speech buddies.

Develop the habit of paying attention to your emotions. Then do what is needed to be in the right emotional state by changing our thinking patterns and states.

3 – They do whatever it takes to overcome events and patterns from the past that do not serve them well

How does this apply to PWS?

“If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you have always got” (Tony Robins and many others).

Define a compelling reason to change. This focus will provide the motivation to do the hard things required to move on from the past self-limiting beliefs and become a powerful speaker.

Focus on being an effective communicator. Drop the preoccupation with “fluency.” Striving for fluency will only sabotage our efforts because we will be trying not to stutter, trying to be fluent. Focus on being a powerful and confident person, an eloquent speaker, and fluency will come as a by-product of these activities rather than the focus! 

Think differently! Fluency is the consequence, not the objective!

Stop trying to be fluent. Openly ADVERTISE that your speech pattern is different by doing disclosures, use exaggerated technique and voluntary stuttering to reduce the fear.

Personal development occurs when we venture beyond our existing comfort zones. It requires re-drawing our mental maps so that we increase the size of our safe and familiar areas. 

When we feel the discomfort, we know we are confronting the fear. It confirms that we are taking risks. “Like the tortoise, you can only move forward when you stick your neck out” (James Bryant Conant). The only limitations are those that we impose upon ourselves.

When we achieve something that we previously regarded impossible, it causes us to reconsider our limiting beliefs. If we conquer something that has challenged us it opens our eyes to other possibilities. We grow as people; our self-esteem and confidence grow which has a positive effect on our speech.

Today, as adults, we have a choice over what beliefs, patterns, and habits we want to keep or discard. And we have a choice over the meanings we give our past experiences.

Successful people are aware of how limiting old beliefs, habits, patterns, and experiences can be… and they do whatever it takes to change them!

4 – They silence their critical voice

How does this apply to PWS?

Develop the habits of never allowing negative thoughts to exist. Immediately change them to positive thoughts. To quote Alan Badmington from the UK, “I never dwell upon negative thoughts for more than the flickering of a candle.”

Question negative thoughts by asking:

Is there evidence my thought is true? Possibly just my tainted perception or opinions.

Am I worrying about something outside of my control? Why would you?

How useful is my thought? What does the thought do for me? Who is it hurting?

How bad is it? Am I making too much of it? Will it be relevant in the future?

5 – They are willing to fail, repeatedly…

How does this apply to PWS?

Be prepared to fall off the bike and then get back on.

Treat relapse as an opportunity to learn. Successful people see failing as a part of the learning process.  And no matter how much they fail, they are never willing to quit. Because failing implies that the journey is over. If they see individual failures as a part of a longer journey of success, then they learn and apply the lessons. Three steps forward, two steps backward, three steps forward…etc. 

Get rid of that perfectionist streak. Do different things that feel uncomfortable. Practise being imperfect. Failure does not exist if you see it as positive lessons on the path to success.

6 – They do the important things first, not the easy things

As part of a busy life, we may feel tired, lacking motivation or short of time. There may be a tendency to do the easy tasks, those that don’t challenge us physically or intellectually. Successful people do the important things FIRST, not the easy things. They know the important stuff is what will get them to where they want to be.  

How does this apply to PWS?

Attention to our speech must be a daily activity. We should practise every day. Whether that be a technique, breathing pattern, expanding our comfort zone, personal development…any activity that changes self-limiting beliefs and improves our relationship with our world.

Reliance on a technique must be short-term. When does exaggerated technique become a trick or a safety behavior? Then the fear of stuttering and the social anxiety will remain to control thoughts and behavior.

I am sure for some PWS their stuttering is so deeply ingrained and the fear of stuttering so intense they choose to use exaggerated technique permanently. For them that choice might be quite justified.

Other PWS choose to stutter freely with the attitude I do not have to change, the rest of the world must change. The bad news is the rest of the world is unlikely to change any time soon. However, learning to accept one’s stutter may reduce the fear of stuttering and result in more eloquent speech. 

We all choose the path for us and there is no right or wrong, simply different! 

7 – They get clear on what they want and who they want to be, and then take daily action to get there

How does this apply to PWS?

Successful people know that there is tremendous power in being clear about their end goal and what they need to do to get there. They take consistent daily action to move forward (e.g., go to a shopping center and talk to fifty strangers).

They never let their current limitations stop them from seeing a better future. PWS who struggle with their speech allow the fear of stuttering and being judged to impose limitations on their lives.

“Feel the fear and do it anyway” (Dr Susan Jeffers). What’s the worst that can happen, really?  Form a habit of saying a big YES to all speaking situations and go out and create more speaking situations (e.g., sitting next to a stranger on the train to have a chat). 

Summary

Changing our speech for the better requires changes in other areas of our lives. Changing those limiting attitudes, perceptions, beliefs, and habits that support our stuttering behaviour.

A process of continuous improvement!