Different View
Hi, my name is James. I am a graduate student. I am currently taking a class on stuttering. A major lesson that we were taught is to help adults stutter with their acceptance of their stuttering. How would one help PWS change their perspective about their stutter?
Hello James,
My name is Sulema Rodriguez, and I’m a bilingual SLP who stutters/stutterer. This is a great question and a very tedious one to answer. You see, acceptance looks very different for everyone, especially when it comes to time (i.e., short- vs. long-term goals). For instance, acceptance for one individual can be not switching out words for their 9am class, while for others, it can be talking about stuttering with relatives who don’t know the client stutters. The act of accepting one’s stutter can both be fleeting and last a long time. At the end of the day, regardless of time, we should refer to the client and their definition of acceptance because it can be so easy to start comparing stuttering journeys and feel like one needs to do more and more to fully feel ‘okay’ with stuttering.
Hi James, a couple of other students have asked about acceptance, so I’ll share what I shared with them. Acceptance is certainly a journey, and a good starting place is generally helping people who stutter understand that stuttering is not their fault, that it’s not due to some personal flaw or laziness or “not trying hard enough.” Stuttering simply is (as with any other chronic condition), and when people release themselves from this guilt (i.e., that they are doing something wrong by stuttering or are inherently “bad” for it), it opens the door to tackle the impacts of stuttering in their lives, which will differ from person to person. I believe that meaningful intervention will mean minimizing the negative impacts the individual is experiencing on a day-to-day basis, both small and big impacts, and this usually does a great deal in relation to changing one’s perspective. I would also encourage you to watch a recent video that was published on positive effects of speech therapy that relate to acceptance and perspective changes: https://youtu.be/l4pddgtEH3g?si=6Seo69NoAtene7I6.
I will also add a reflection that my friend, LEE REEVES, once shared with me and gave me permission to repost:
Acceptance is an often discussed concept by those affected by stuttering. Because it is a very personal concept discussions can bring out very strong emotions and opinions. Some have argued that accepting one’s stuttering is tantamount to giving up and thus deciding to remain locked in a world of fear and limited opportunity. Others suggest that acceptance means that it’s not only OK to stutter but that stuttering could and indeed should be worn (or spoken) like a badge of honor. Still others believe that acceptance is a necessary step for change to occur.
Through my own journey with stuttering I have come to believe that acceptance is reaching a state of mind in which we acknowledge both to others AND more importantly to ourselves that our inability to speak with the spontaneity and fluidity of others is real but is not our or anyone else’s fault ; that while stuttering is part of who we are it does not define us. The concept of acceptance does not mean that we are destined to remain at or even be satisfied with the condition in which we find ourselves. It does mean, however, that we have attained a position to make clear decisions on our own behalf without the baggage of the past holding us back or the blind optimism of the future jading our expectations. The decision to change the way we speak requires personal risk and will be met with both success and failure. With the foundation of acceptance, success is more sustainable and failure is less destructive.
Simply put, we cannot change the way we speak for any appreciable period of time until we become comfortable with the idea that we are more than our stuttering and that we alone have the power to determine what to do about it. Accepting stuttering does not mean giving up. It is not the end but rather, the beginning!