Acknowledging Your Stutter
Hi! My name is Jasmine and I am a second-year graduate student in a speech pathology program. I have not yet had a client who stutters, but I have been apart of some of my peers’ sessions with their clients who stutter. We simply have a conversation, answering their questions and getting to ask them questions. One thing they always do while introducing themselves is say, “I have a stutter.” When speaking to someone new, do you personally do this? Are there specific situations when you do? For example, in a drive thru line or ordering at a restaurant. Why or why not?
For more than 20 years now, I have calmly and peacefully accepted the fact that I happen to be a person who stutters. As part of this philosophy, I expect my listeners to also accept me as I am – a person who happens to stutter, a person with a speech difference.
I don’t think it is necessary, at least in my case, to acknowledge my stuttering when entering a situation. My stuttering is severe, and I stutter in almost all situations. So people in a new situation know immediately that I stutter.
Since people know right away that I stutter, I feel no need to acknowledge it in most situations, and especially I don’t acknowledge it when beginning to speak. My listeners know I stutter; I know they know I stutter; and they know that I know that they know I stutter.
But having said that, there are some situations – if I know a person well – that some acknowledgement of my stuttering eases some stressful feelings, and signals that stuttering is not a taboo topic of conversation. For example, if I have recently attended a gathering of people who stutter (international, national, or even local), or if I’m planning on attending such a gathering in the near future, I’ll sometimes mention it if it fits naturally into the context of the conversation. Or I might mention my stuttering if it is relevant to a particular topic of the conversation.
But no, I don’t randomly mention it without a particular reason. I try not to let stuttering dominate my life in any way, and therefore don’t bring up the subject of stuttering if there is no specific reason or appropriate context to do so.
If people are interested in the topic and ask me questions about it, that’s fine. But I don’t presume the topic will be too interesting to most people.
From my life experience, I would say there are four groups of people who have a real interest in knowing more about a stuttering disorder: 1) other people who stutter; 2) family members of people who stutter; 3) professionals in the fields of speech-language pathology or psychology; 4) students of speech-language pathology. With these people, I’m more than happy to discuss stuttering. But it’s rare that other people are really interested in the topic. So that’s another reason why I (usually) tend not to mention it.
My stuttering just is. It’s there, and everyone knows it. No, it’s not a taboo subject by any means. But I simply accept it, and expect others to do the same.
Hi Jasmine and thanks for a great question.
I love it that you get the chance to ask questions. As we all are different, have different goals, carry with us different backgrounds, etc. And my reply will show you different scenarios too, and only from my point of view. Others might reply differently.
When I give a presentation about stuttering, of course I mention it. Also because I can present and be fluent, and when I’m done I can stutter a lot.
When I present for people who don’t stutter, I bring it up at an early stage, as this takes the elephant out of the room so that they can listen to what I say instead of how I’m speaking, it shows I’m aware of my speech but I’m OK the way I speak, and opens the door for them to ask questions.
When I’m social with new people I like to bring it up, but just randomly. F ex I tell them about my involvement in this conference. Again to show them I’m OK with my stutter and that they can be too.
When people want to know more, I tell them more.
When I’m on a plane, I stutter and my neighbor tells me he knows this therapy where people get fluent over the weekend, or tells ME what stuttering is and how to deal with it, I put my headphones on.
In a job application I don’t mention it. During a job interview I do, again for the same reason as earlier.
Talking to a person who interrupts me or finishes my sentences, I tell them I stutter and need time to myself finish my sentences.
In a drive through I would not advertice, simply as I feel they just have to wait and listen. If they can’t hear me and get nervous, I tell them for them to feel better. If they are rude, I tell them off for them to realize they are rude.
So it all depends on the situation, the listener, how much time I have, how much I stutter at that moment, the purpose, etc. But one core thing is that it’s all up to the PWS. Noone else can nor should tell me what to do. Just like others don’t have to advertise they have a wig or a rusty car. Or when an app wanting to access my position and contacts. So yes I advertise, but only when I want to, or if it has a purpose for me and/or my listener.
Keep them talking
Anita