Talking with parents
Hi, my name is Mykah. I am a graduate student in speech-language pathology. I’m externing in a public school, and I currently work with a 4th grader who stutters. She recently opened up to me, and it appears that I am the first person she has been able to openly talk about her stuttering with. I have been so grateful for her progress in talking about her stuttering in our last session, and I think she wants to learn more. My question is how I go about educating parents in a public school setting when the parents are not there to see the therapy take place? I am finding it difficult, given that I am only an intern at the school until winter break. Any other advice on talking to parents of children who stutter is more than welcome.
Mykah,
Thank you so much for asking this question to the professional panel. I am so glad you are having the opportunity to work with this student, and that this student opened up to you- isn’t it great to be a part of someone’s life like this? That’s probably my favorite part about what we do! But this also speaks to your character as a new clinician- this student felt safe enough with you, to tell you these things- how neat and so beautiful! You have a good question here- parent involvement can be difficult when you are in the public school setting. Ask your supervisor if you are able to make a phone call to home, an email or use a communication app (if the school has one- my school-aged children’s school uses a communication app- but not all parents may have access to this)- you likely do not have access to these accounts as a student clinician but your supervisor does so you may be able to collaborate with your supervisor in enhancing communication with parent as much as possible. Also keep in mind- that not all parents and guardians are able to communicate. I tell this story often- but I had four siblings in speech therapy in a school I worked at across multiple years, several years ago. I never once met their mother in person- and school staff even would at times express their frustration with lack of parent involvement. It’s easy for us to think of reasons why this could be- why a parent or caregiver wouldn’t be involved…. but my last IEP meeting (for those not in the states, that’s the yearly meeting a public school has to determine goals, therapy service and classroom minutes, and the plan for the following year)-we had that meeting for one of the siblings, the mom was finally able to attend via phone- and she said, “I am so sorry I have not had the opportunity to meet and be more involved with all of this, I work three jobs and I am a single mom”. This happened early in my career and it really opened my eyes to differences in family dynamic and honoring families where they are at. So- keep that in mind- that your supervisor may make efforts to talk to a parent or guardian and may never reach them- and that’s ok, too. You can also communicate and collaborate with classroom teachers- teachers often want to know all of the information we can tell them about stuttering. I hope this was some helpful, and if you need anything further be sure to comment here before it closes, reach out to your supervisor, or to your graduate prof that teaches the stuttering/cluttering course in your program. For resources for parents- you want to make sure to direct parents to reliable information because there is so much out there. Here in the United States there is the National Stuttering Association and there are family chapters to get involved in (you can search online to find a chapter) along with resources, the Stuttering Association for the Young, FRIENDS (these are all support groups that have events, conferences, etc for families and kiddos who stutter) there is the Stuttering Foundation of America and their resources, and also entities like Stuttering Therapy Resources by Dr. Scott Yaruss and Nina Reeves for therapy resources and parent guides. Spero Stuttering also has “community” resources. Take care and I hope this was helpful!
Hi Mykah,
It is wonderful to hear that she felt so safe with you that she shared her feelings with you. As Steff already said, it might not always be possible to reach out to the parents. I work at a private clinic, so usually I am in contact witht the parents and that is really helpful.
Remember that she felt safe with you and it took her courage to share with someone. That is alrwady a big step for her. So, if you will not be able to reach out to the parents, it is important you are there for her.
Keep growing, because you will be a great clinician!
-Manon_
Hi Mykah,
I totally understand where you’re coming from! When I was a graduate student doing my externship in elementary schools, I faced the same challenges when it came to connecting with parents. What helped me was finding small, creative ways to communicate with them even within the school schedule.
For example, I sometimes arranged short Zoom or phone calls during the day to give quick updates. Other times, I’d ask parents if they could come a few minutes early when dropping off or picking up their child so we could have a brief conversation.
Another thing that worked really well was involving the child. I would ask my student to explain to their parents what we learned in therapy or something new they practiced that week. Then, in our next session, I’d ask how it went. This not only reinforces learning but also naturally encourages communication about stuttering at home.
Finally, I tried to stay in touch through quick calls or messages to share what we were practicing and how parents could support at home. I even remember lending out a children’s book about stuttering so parents could read it together with their child. It opened up great conversations.
You’re doing such meaningful work by creating a safe space for your student to talk about stuttering. That trust is a huge step forward in therapy!
Angelica
Mykah,
It’s so great to hear that you’ve created a safe space for your young person to openly talk about stuttering and that you appreciate what a privileged moment this can be. It can be such a scary moment for a young person to talk about something they’ve never done before and something that can be hugely painful. Your presence, ability to listen, and ability to create that space is very special!
I work in the UK and I think that the way things work here may be very different….so apologies if I don’t understand the system in the US well enough. I’ll share some things that have worked for me when working in schools.
I really like parents/carers to be involved in the therapy, so I admire your desire to involve them. They are their child’s biggest support and advocate. I like them to know what we’re working on and understand the rationale, to hear how I talk about stuttering and to learn how to acknowledge and validate some of the difficult emotions that may come. I like them to be their child’s emotional support in therapy.
I invite parents to all the appointments that I have in school. If they are unable to attend the appointment, I phone them and give feedback following the appointment. Alternatively, I send an email summary of our appointment and copy in the young person and a member of school staff (with my client’s consent). I also use WhatsApp to communicate with parents. I’ll send them a message after our appointment to let them know what we’ve being done and ask them to call/message if they want to chat some more. I even send photos of the work/drawings/resources that we’ve used in therapy/created by their child to encourage discussions at home.
I hope this helps and keep being that person who enables people to talk and use their beautiful voice!
Nic
Hi Mykah
As your question is for both professionals and PWS, I, a PWS, will answer from my experiences when I was a child, 30 years of stutter camps, and of years of speaking in schools.
Firstly I’m so happy to read she feels safe with you and opens up. As it’s so important to create a safe, understanding, non-judgemental space for your clients, regardless their age.
! I myself had a very hard time as a kid who stuttered. I was told stuttering was wrong, and life would be meaningless as I was a failure, I was bullied, until I tried to give up on life. Things changed when I met the right people. A boss who told me I was doing a good job. A boyfriend who told me I was a great person. At the age of 27… I found a broschure about the stuttering support group. Wait, what?? Are there others?? From that moment on I never stopped talking and found my self worth. And I started camps for children and for young people who stutter, for them to found out they are not alone and give peer support.
If you only see the child, try to make some time to also meet the parents, as if the child doesn’t feel safe to talk about stuttering with her parents, you might like to find out why. What are their thoughts, or maybe even their demands from the child.
Some parents deny their child stutters. Others don’t know where to go or what to do, especially when teachers say it’s not a problem, and health care tells them to wait. Now these might be true, but worried parents, parents who carry shame, bring that to their children, who start to realize they are doing something that makes their parents sad, worried or ashamed.
I know parents don’t want their children to suffer. And some parents think fluency is the (only) goal for the child to have a happy, successful life. But sometimes sending kids to a camp where they can be themselves, no matter how they speak, can make all the difference. Helping the child to get a surrounding where stuttering is OK.
As maybe the most important parents should learn is to make the child feel s/he is good enough, just the way s/he is. To show all the skills s/he has, the great personality. And that stuttering doesn’t mean it’s the end of the world. It’s just a bit harder. And that many people have issues they’d rather be without. Stuttering is not good, nor bad, it just is. But that you’re not less of a person. That you should get the respect you deserve, the help and adjustments you have the right to. Teach the parents what stuttering is, so that they and the child can explain it to others. Through books like Franky Banky, buttons to show that stuttering is cool (any new fashion or music style started with one person brave (!) enough to be different), and that s/he has a day all for her/himself, the ISAD, where they deserve that special cake, or cinema visit. 😉 So in short: give the child, but also the parents the tools to see s/he is OK and that the world simply needs to be better listeners. Sending the kid to a camp is a great start, also for parents to meet other parents and adult PWS.
And sometimes even sibblings, grandma or the parents of the child’s friends need to learn more about stuttering. So handing out or emailing leaflets and tips on GOOD websites, books, social media, influencers (but only those who stutter openly and still do their thing) can be a start for parents to find their way through the stuttering information jungle.
I’ve been a leader for stutter camps for many years. And met lots of parents who are sad over their children who stutter. As a parent, you don’t want your child to struggle and want them to have a great life and speak freely. Well, that’s exactly what you should aim for. I once found a parent crying. I asked why and she said “I thought this camp would help my child stop stuttering. And meeting you I realize this might never happen.” I than asked her if I seem unhappy. Married, mother, career, friends, etc. She suddenly smiled and realized my point.
Now I realise that you only work during school hours, but if you can find some time to see or call the parents and talk to them, even if that’s out of your regular working hours, please do.
I also gave some advice in my paper in this conference, so please have a read. 🙂
Keep them talking and thank you for being such a supportive person in that girl’s life.
Anita