About the Author: My name is Cindy Molin, 68 years old, living in Arizona. I have a BS in BS Computer Science & Math, and a MS in Systems Engineering. I’ve had various positions, starting as Software Engineer, Software Manager, Program, Manager and Engineering Director in Nuclear Power and DoD industries.

My stutter was pretty much consistent over all the years – Repeating on first sounds, forcing sounds and words, injections of sounds such as ah & hum and some facial and body contortions.  I probably stuttered on 20% of my words.  And once I stuttered on a word, I struggled to get out the rest of the sentence.  

So, how did stuttering impact me?  

• On the positive side, it made me work extremely hard in school and during my career to compensate for my stutter and I have been very successful!
• On the negative side, I had low self-confidence even though I put on a great appearance of positivity and happiness.   I always wondered – what would my life be if I didn’t stutter?  

I started stuttering when I was 3 or 4 years old.  I had speech therapy prior to starting school and in grade school and college.  There were minimum results – I still stuttered.

A HUGE turning point in my life, and I mean HUGE, happened during my 1st week of college at the School of Nursing.  There was an orientation day for all freshman nursing students.  We had to go around the room and say our name, where we were from, etc. – a dreadful situation for a stutterer like me.  I thought I did pretty good, in my opinion.  Anyway, at the end of day, the Dean called my name to come to her office.  She told me she didn’t know I stuttered, and a nurse cannot stutter, and she just didn’t know what they were going to do with me.   Can you imagine, being 18, away from home for the first time, and hearing this from the Dean – it was horrible!

• I left her office in tears, contacted the Dean of Computer Science (he never mentioned my stutter), and changed my major the next day.  
• And of course, I never told anyone the reason, including my parents.

After college, I worked for 2 top technical corporations, worked very hard and had a wonderful career.  I rose from software engineer to leadership positions and led hundreds of people on very complex engineering programs.  I gave presentations multiple times a day, talked on the phone, traveled extensively and just “plowed through” with my stutter.  I had thousands of stuttering incidents and just thought my speech was a burden I had to “grin and bear” and kept on going.  

I did have 2 horrendous experiences when I was in my 40’s & 50’s at my workplace due to my stuttering.    Both resulted in Human Resource interventions and speech therapy.  It’s important to mention this because although I was a high level leader and performed outstandingly, my experience is that stuttering is still a stigma in the workplace.  In my situation, help was provided, leadership was sympathetic, and the results were good, but the journey was rocky.

I retired and started a winery in Arizona with my husband.  My speech was better since I no longer gave presentations, so my stress and anxiety were reduced.  However, I still stuttered on many words each day – hundreds for sure.  I was enjoying my retirement, but I was still a stutterer, and it bothered me all the time.  

Recently, I met another stutterer who is in college. In March, we decided to investigate potential stuttering books which may help the both of us – since we both stuttered.  My goal was to NOT have her go through all the pain I had during my 40-year career due to my stuttering. We found a book which is based on a neuroscience method.  It explained so much about why I am who I am.  I’ve always been a perfectionist, and worried constantly about what people thought about me.  My stutter was a habit which I constantly fed! My mind “spun and spun” all the time on words on how to speak to reduce my stutter instead of on the messaging.

I started the author’s program in mid-March, and my speech improved drastically within weeks. As of May, I consider myself an Ex-Stutterer.  Although I had a great life as a stutterer, I feel so confident and proud that I no longer stutter – LIFE IS FANTASTIC!