Disclosure Statements
Hello! My name is Sydney and I am an SLP graduate student. I was wondering if anyone finds it helpful (or maybe unhelpful) to disclose their stutter in new speaking situations. We haven’t talked about this yet in our stuttering course, but I had a clinical instructor raise this idea when I had a client who stuttered. Do you find this helpful? If you feel anxious in new speaking situations, does this help relieve anxiety/fear? Does it have an impact on the speaker or listener? I’m sure disclosing isn’t appropriate for everyone, but I’m curious to hear your overall opinions on it. Thanks for your time!
Hi Sydney!
In past years, I’ve been on the fence about disclosing but within the last 6-7 years, I always disclose. I figure if someone has an issue with my stutter, that’s a reflection on them. With that said, though, I do have a habit of beginning to speak and interrupting myself with a disclaimer that I stutter — which, ironically, I usually say fluently. Even when applying for jobs, I’ll have it on either my resume or cover letter. 10 years ago, I wouldn’t have considered it but with as much progression as I feel society has made with disability awareness, I say why not?
For disclosing, however, The Stuttering Foundation has made cards that say “I Am a Person Who Stutters”, going on to explain what stuttering is below along with facts about stuttering. These cards can be found on The Stuttering Foundation’s website. But these are a game-changer for many, including myself. These are especially helpful in stressful situations like speaking to border officers at the airport, for instance.
Overall, my attitude on disclosing is simple: I’m going to tell you and if you have an issue with it, that’s on you.
Thank you for the interesting question!
My views on this have evolved over the years.
As a child and teenager with severe stuttering, I seldom brought up the subject (outside of therapy sessions). It was just too painful. I preferred to talk about other aspects of my life that I considered positive and enjoyable.
During my 20’s and 39’s, I experienced a number of fluency shaping programs – and when I put in extensive practice time, I could often speak fluently in many situations.
During these periods, when I was speaking fluently – especially with someone who hadn’t heard me actively stuttering – there were times that I felt distinctly uncomfortable. I would rhink to myself: “This person has only heard me speaking fluently, and has never heard me stutter. He/she probably doesn’t even know I stutter. I wonder if my stuttering will come back during this conversation, or perhaps it might come back in the next conversation I have with this person.”
It was because of these thoughts that I decided that I needed to inform these listeners about my stuttering – that is, I felt the need to disclose. So it became my habit during those years to disclose, if I was meeting someone new and speaking fluently, and felt it was likely that I would meet the person again. But I always put a positive spin on it, for example: “I’m using specially practiced techniques right now to speak fluently, to control a stuttering disorder.” Listeners would most often react with a response like: “Oh, that’s interesting”; they sometimes then mentioned another kind of disorder that they happened to have, or simply move on to another topic. Seldom was I asked any questions about it. But I always felt more comfortable if the person knew I had a stuttering disorder. Indeed at times, they did hear me stutter in a future situation.
One of my speech clinicians advised clients to wear a button with the written message: “I sometimes stutter. So I am talking slowly these days.” I was given such a button to wear. But I only wore it once – I felt very uncomfortable and self-conscious with it. My preference was to mention my stuttering verbally instead of wearing a little button.
My fluency shaping days didn’t last forever, though. For me, the intensive practice necessary to maintain fluency was just too much. Eventually I just changed my philosophy, and simply and calmly accepted myself as a person who happens to stutter. I felt much less pressured, and much more at ease, to simply accept myself as I am, a person who stutters.
My comment on disclosure was accidentally sent before it was finished. So I’ll finish here.
With this change in philosophy – accepting myself calmly as a person who happens to stutter, and letting go of speech techniuque practice – my stuttering now appears in almost every situation. Indeed there is no need for disclosure as such, as people generally know I stutter during the first few words of each conversation. Right away, my listeners realize I have a disorder.
I don’t feel much of a need these days to talk about my stuttering. It’s there, and everyone knows it. I can’t hide it, unlike during the days when I was intensively practicing speech techniques.
Experience has taught me too that most people just aren’t that interested in talking about my stuttering disorder, or stuttering in general. We who stutter often feel that the whole world is interested in knowing about our stuttering. Not so. People who stutter may not want to hear this, but the topic of stuttering is not one that most people care about, or have much interest in. Generally speaking, this topic primarily interests people who stutter and their families, and those with a professional or academic/educational reason to learn about stuttering.
So I seldom mention stuttering these days in a social context. I think to myself honestly: Would I REALLY be interested in hearing an acquaintance talk about a disorder they happen to have, a disorder that has nothing to do with me?
But I do occasionally try to mention my stuttering in occasional positive contexts, if there is a natural place for it in the conversation. An example would be recent attendance, or attendance in the near future, of a national or international stuttering conference. I think it’s important to mention stuttering once in a while, to put everyone at ease – this is not a taboo topic. But still, as I mentioned above, most people really aren’t too interested in the subject.
Hi Sydney
When I give a presentation about stuttering, of course I mention it. Also because I can present and be fluent, and when I’m done I can stutter a lot.
When I present for people who don’t stutter, I bring it up at an early stage, as this takes the elephant out of the room so that they can listen to what I say instead of how I’m speaking, it shows I’m aware of my speech but I’m OK the way I speak, and opens the door for them to ask questions.
When I’m social with new people I like to bring it up, but just randomly. F ex I tell them about my involvement in this conference. Again to show them I’m OK with my stutter and that they can be too.
When people want to know more, I tell them more.
When I’m on a plane, I stutter and my neighbor tells me he knows this therapy where people get fluent over the weekend, or tells ME what stuttering is and how to deal with it, I put my headphones on.
In a job application I don’t mention it. During a job interview I do, again for the same reason as earlier.
Talking to a person who interrupts me or finishes my sentences, I tell them I stutter and need time to myself finish my sentences.
In a drive through I would not advertice, simply as I feel they just have to wait and listen. If they can’t hear me and get nervous, I tell them for them to feel better. If they are rude, I tell them off for them to realize they are rude.
So it all depends on the situation, the listener, how much time I have, how much I stutter at that moment, the purpose, etc. But one core thing is that it’s all up to the PWS. Noone else can nor should tell me what to do. Just like others don’t have to advertise they have a wig or a rusty car. Or when an app wanting to access my position and contacts. So yes I advertise, but only when I want to, or if it has a purpose for me and/or my listener.
I use buttons with funny quotes, like my own “Sure I stutter. What are you good at?”, other Franky Banky buttons, the seagreen ribbon, etc. As it helps both me and the listener to show I’m OK with my stutter and that they can ask questions. When the elephant is out of the room, we can continue being two people having a conversation. But of course there will always people who know stuttering better then me (Sure, fine with me), people who want to “help” (like this train host who wanted to help me, carried my bag and took my hand to take me to the train, simply because I stuttered when asking for the train, also fine with me 😉 ) and people who are jerks. Which is why it’s good to be prepared to all kinds of reactions, have enough self-worth to react in a way that makes you the taller one, and know that it’s their insecurity, not you.
Also the way I explain stuttering differs. When they are truly interested I can explain and answer questions. I don’t go into research, just what it’s like to live with a stutter and what others can do to help, and also what makes it worse. The more people understand, the more both me and my listener can go back to just having a conversation between two people. As that’s what stuttering really is: a different way of speaking that just needs a different way of listening.
Keep them talking
Anita