Explaining Stuttering to Others
Hi, I’m an SLP graduate student currently taking a stuttering course! I was curious about your past experiences of when you encountered a person who didn’t understand stuttering or gave negative reactions to your stuttering- how did you go about explaining what stuttering is to them? Or did you ever have an experience when you needed to explain your stuttering to a person?
Did the person seem to understand or change their emotions/reactions toward you (that you noticed)?
What are so tips you have for figuring out the best way to explain stuttering to those who are not in this profession or who are not stuttering so that they can best understand it?
Thanks so much!
Hi! First and foremost, I believe it’s essential that we explain to people without knowledge of stuttering what it entails, so I appreciate that you asked about this. When I created a TikTok profile about my stuttering earlier this year, I received several questions about what stuttering actually is, and quite a few people were curious about what causes stuttering, etc. I’ve found that I can make myself better understood if I use direct examples of what stuttering feels like while explaining what stuttering is in the simplest way possible. I usually say that it’s ‘a difficulty I was born with, a sort of glitch in the brain where my words and letters don’t quite get out when they are supposed to.’ To illustrate the feeling, I often say, ‘I have a wild dog on a leash that I can’t quite control as well as I’d like to,’ or ‘a tornado of words and letters that determine when they want to come out of the storm.’ I hope this was a sort of answer to what you were asking for. I think the most important thing is to explain stuttering in the way you personally experience it and to find a balance between negativity and positivity. Not painting it too bleak, but also not overly glorifying it! Much love from Ylva!
Hi! It depends on who I’m explaining it to. If it’s someone rude or ignorant, I’ll say, “Excuse me, I stutter,” or something along those and keep it succinct. However, when I get asked about my stuttering, I embrace it. Some have apologized in advance for asking — and I understand why they’d feel the need to — but I say it’s unnecessary because, as far as I’m concerned, education is the enemy of ignorance.
I say that stuttering is unpredictable, which can be either frustrating or fascinating depending on the perspective.
I explain that I was a shy, sensitive kid, shoot down the rare assumption that I “must have been” abused or that I lack confidence (not entirely inaccurate) but go into what it was like growing up (time permitting, of course). I also talk about my speech and performance parts of the brain where I could stutter all day to one or two people but talk a blue streak on stage or in front of a crowd because I use my performance side of the brain.
Those I have explained stuttering to come out more fascinated and intrigued than I could have imagined. I love when people are curious about it.
Hi Cstang
When I give a presentation about stuttering, of course I mention it. Also because I can present and be fluent, and when I’m done I can stutter a lot.
When I present for people who don’t stutter, I bring it up at an early stage, as this takes the elephant out of the room so that they can listen to what I say instead of how I’m speaking, it shows I’m aware of my speech but I’m OK the way I speak, and opens the door for them to ask questions.
When I’m social with new people I like to bring it up, but just randomly. F ex I tell them about my involvement in this conference. Again to show them I’m OK with my stutter and that they can be too.
When people want to know more, I tell them more.
When I’m on a plane, I stutter and my neighbor tells me he knows this therapy where people get fluent over the weekend, or tells ME what stuttering is and how to deal with it, I put my headphones on.
In a job application I don’t mention it. During a job interview I do, again for the same reason as earlier.
Talking to a person who interrupts me or finishes my sentences, I tell them I stutter and need time to myself finish my sentences.
In a drive through I would not advertice, simply as I feel they just have to wait and listen. If they can’t hear me and get nervous, I tell them for them to feel better. If they are rude, I tell them off for them to realize they are rude.
So it all depends on the situation, the listener, how much time I have, how much I stutter at that moment, the purpose, etc. But one core thing is that it’s all up to the PWS. Noone else can nor should tell me what to do. Just like others don’t have to advertise they have a wig or a rusty car. Or when an app wanting to access my position and contacts. So yes I advertise, but only when I want to, or if it has a purpose for me and/or my listener.
I use buttons with funny quotes, like my own “Sure I stutter. What are you good at?”, other Franky Banky buttons, the seagreen ribbon, etc. As it helps both me and the listener to show I’m OK with my stutter and that they can ask questions. When the elephant is out of the room, we can continue being two people having a conversation. But of course there will always people who know stuttering better then me (Sure, fine with me), people who want to “help” (like this train host who wanted to help me, carried my bag and took my hand to take me to the train, simply because I stuttered when asking for the train, also fine with me 😉 ) and people who are jerks. Which is why it’s good to be prepared to all kinds of reactions, have enough self-worth to react in a way that makes you the taller one, and know that it’s their insecurity, not you.
Also the way I explain stuttering differs. When they are truly interested I can explain and answer questions. I don’t go into research, just what it’s like to live with a stutter and what others can do to help, and also what makes it worse. The more people understand, the more both me and my listener can go back to just having a conversation between two people. As that’s what stuttering really is: a different way of speaking that just needs a different way of listening.
Keep them talking
Anita