About the Author: Charlie Hughes, Ph.D., CCC-SLP, BCS-F, is an Assistant Professor in the Department of Clinical Therapeutic Programs at Eastern Kentucky University (EKU). He is a person who stutters and teaches a variety of courses at the undergraduate and graduate level in the Communication Sciences and Disorders program at EKU. He served as a past board member on the American Board of Fluency and Fluency Disorders from 2015-2018. In the past, he served as a former co-chapter leader for the National Stuttering Association’s Northwest Ohio adult chapter and was a former co-chapter leader and former chapter leader for the Lexington, Kentucky adult chapter of the National Stuttering Association.

The theme of this year’s conference, “One Size Does NOT Fit All”, truly resonates with me as it relates to my personal experience with stuttering and how coping with my stuttering has changed over time.  Although there are parts of myself which will always remain the same, I have evolved in my thinking and have taken “who I am” along with my evolution as it relates to my stuttering. Ways of managing my stuttering that “fit” me when I was younger, had to evolve and change when I got older. I had to leave behind ways of thinking and reacting to my stuttering that were no longer helpful. When I finally started to work toward “letting go” of unhelpful behaviors and thinking, it allowed me to embrace new ways of approaching my stuttering that were more kind, caring, and healthy to myself.  It is important to mention at the beginning here that I’m sharing my personal experiences as a person who stutters and I’m writing from this perspective. Everyone who stutters is going to be different and have their own unique experience. For me, this is my personal story of evolving, changing, returning, and changing again as it relates to living and coping with my stuttering. 

The word “evolution” makes me think about “preferences” and how my preferences have changed over time (in general and with how I approach my stuttering). It is interesting to note that the American Speech-Language-Hearing Association’s (2005) position statement on evidence-based practice (EBP) in communication disorders also includes “preferences” in the EBP process, as it relates to client preferences. For me, my “preferences” have changed over time with how I wanted to manage and live with stuttering. I wonder if it would be fair to say that maybe some of our general preferences as people, in some way or another, change over time?  However, some of our preferences may always stay the same. (E.g. one of my favorite foods will probably always be cornbread! Parts of my personality will always remain, etc.) As I reflect on my life with stuttering, some of the ways I coped with stuttering when I was younger, would not work for me now. In addition, separate from stuttering, some of my preferences when I was younger would not be what I prefer now. 

For a moment, I’m going to use examples from my general life (separate from stuttering) and apply those to how I have changed with managing and living with stuttering. When I was younger, I loved to run (and I still do). In middle school and high school, I ran cross country and track and could run for miles, and miles, and miles without a strong possibility of getting injured. Running endless miles (and not stretching before) worked for me and was a “good fit” at that time. How about we take drinking soda as an example. When I was younger, I could drink many cans of soda all day long. Let’s now fast forward to the present day in 2023. As an adult, I still enjoy running (with running much less miles now) but I have learned the importance of stretching (torn cartilage around my knee made me realize the need to take it slow, and the benefit of stretching before running!). I now drink much more sparkling water compared to soda. What was a “good fit” when I was younger, was not necessarily a good match for me as an adult. 

Now, I’m going to focus on my stuttering. How I live and cope with stuttering now, is not the exact same way that I did when I was younger. For example, when I first started going to speech therapy, I began learning about easier ways to talk to manage my stuttering. This was a great “fit” for me at that point in my life. I used easy-relaxed-approach smooth-movements (ERA-SM) (Gregory, 2003) and in my young teenage years, this is how I preferred to manage my stuttering and used this strategy frequently (and still do today sometimes). As I grew into my young adult years, my preference for how to manage and live with my stuttering changed due to how I began to think differently about my stuttering. I began to think differently because I had new experiences. I began meeting more people who stutter and felt part of a stuttering community. I didn’t feel so alone anymore. During this time, I began to see my stuttering differently, simply as a way of speaking. This was simply how I talked. Some of the approaches I used in young adulthood consisted of the following and can be connected and credited to Van Riper’s (1973) work: being open about stuttering and not hiding it anymore, telling other people that I stutter, and stuttering on purpose to help myself get more comfortable with stuttering. 

Another example from my life that could be applied to how I’ve evolved in living with stuttering is related to music. Playing, writing, and listening to music is a big part of my life. I began playing guitar in high school and still play now. When I was able to purchase an electric guitar and an amplifier, I had to try and find something that was a good fit for me. I went through all different kinds of guitars and amplifiers when shopping. Did it look the way I wanted? Did it sound the way I wanted? I found a guitar that matched my style, my preference, and who I was. We all have different kinds of preferences. Think about your own life. You may prefer certain types of music over others, clothing style, food, where you might want to vacation, your idea of a “good time”, and what helps you “relax”. We all are different. 

My journey of finding the right guitar is like how I went on a journey to find what was a good fit for me regarding how to live with stuttering. Today, I enjoy the ability to just communicate, whether stuttering is in my speech or not. Being open about my stuttering has been very healing for me. I can be open about stuttering in several ways such as telling other people I stutter and stuttering on purpose. Gregory’s (2003) writing on the idea of options and choices for how to approach stuttering on purpose (voluntary disfluency and/or stuttering) really influenced me about my own choices for how I approach my stuttering.  I thought about how I could just openly stutter through voluntary stuttering (on purpose), but also throw in some voluntary disfluencies or other types of hesitations on purpose (listeners didn’t even know if it was real or not!). I began to see many more options available for how to live and “be” with my stuttering. I love the freedom I experience when communicating. I have choices. I can stutter. I can choose how I want to stutter. I can just have words come out however they want on a particular day. I am not the same person I was when I was younger, though parts of me will always be present. I feel like I’ve lived multiple lives with my stuttering and in life. I’ve learned to walk with my stuttering. My stuttering is part of who I am as a person and I’ve learned how to get to know it, because in the end, by learning about my own stuttering, I’ve got to know myself better and what works best for me. 

References:

American Speech-Language-Hearing Association. (2005). Evidence-based practice in communication disorders [Position Statement]. Available from www.asha.org/policy   

Gregory, H. H. (2003). Stuttering Therapy: Rationale and Procedures. Boston, MA. Pearson Education, Inc.

Van Riper, C. (1973). The Treatment of Stuttering. Englewood Cliffs, NJ. Prentice-Hall, Inc.