Advice for a future speech therapist.
Hello my name is Robert, and I am a graduate student for speech therapy. I have a had a few experiences working with people that stutter. I want to make sure that when I do work with PWS in the future that I am prepared to say and do things that are beneficial to them. My questions for you all are, was there ever a moment that someone told you some advice about your stuttering that just stuck with you? What is something you do not like to hear about your stutter? What is your advice for working with young individuals who stutter?. Sorry for the question overload! Thank you all again!
Hi Robert and thank you for your questions.
What didn’t help was just focusing on my breathing, week after week. Saying the days of the week in one breath. I can breath. I played the saxophone for many years. I also had one who let me talk about what was bothering me. And when, after a year, I wanted to stop, she said it was my fault and blamed me for being unwilling to be fluent, which left me with huge mental scars. If the goal is fluency only, it’s doomed to fail, as stuttering is so much more, and you only risk for your client to become silent instead. So start by listening.
I also hated the word BUT. As in being ABC or doing XYZ, but… if you would not stutter you…
What has stuck with me was “good enough”. This didn’t come from my SLP, family or teachers, but from a friend. That I didn’t have to be perfect. I didn’t have to be fluent. i didn’t have to please others. I didn’t have to change. As I was good enough. That helped me to say ENOUGH. No more pleasing others and instead being kind to myself.
And having been a children and youth camp leader for YPWS showed me that their main need is to be listened to. They tell me they can’t talk to their parents, they feel “different” and feel they are not being understood, so they withdraw. For most of them it comes back to the fact that stuttering is not the main issue, but people are. Have a look at the presentation of Willemijn (in this and previous years’ ISAD conferences) and Jeffrey (in this year’s conference), both young adults who have been to camps, met peers who became their forever friends and are now paying it forward.
I’d like to say to all kids who struggle with mental health: find your people. It’s really hard to find stuttering pride, when the world around you is telling to that you’re not “normal”. People telling you to not be nervous or to take a deep breath, people telling you there is this quick fix, the media showing movies and documentaries where stuttering is funny or stupid and where someone who’s “cured” is a role model, teachers grading your speech instead of your knowledge, employers judging you, and even the person in the street who can’t wait for you to finish your sentence and that device or answering machine not understanding your words…
Did you see the connection? It’s people. People who know what stuttering is about. Who don’t judge you, see you for who you are and the skills you have, and who include solutions for people who stutter. I changed from pretending I was mute to not have to talk, to someone who’s a stuttering activist, thanks to people. People who told me I am good enough, that my voice (no matter how I speak) is ok to be heard, that I’m a great and intelligent person. People who see the person behind the stutter.
I can’t advice what helps for all, but some ideas are to find ways to express yourself. Through music, art etc. To focus on what you CAN do and what you love doing. To realize everyone has things they don’t like, that being fluent is no garantee for happiness, that stuttering is not who you are, and that you can be a good communicator, stuttering and all.
Meet others who stutter. There are conferences, support groups, camps, chats, groups, etc. There are role models who stutter, but who are successful, and even making a living thanks to their stutter. Follow f ex Nina G, Marc Winski, The organisation STAMMA often shows videos of people who stutter but who are doing their thing anyway.
In short: surround yourself with people who lift you up. And who help you find your voice, to speak up and say what you want to say, and also say what you want and don’t want other people to do or say. We need to claim our right to stutter and make stuttering normal. It’s just the way we speak.
Keep them talking
Anita