Acceptance
Hi, My name is Megan and I am an undergraduate student studying Speech-Language Pathology. I was wondering, what was the most influential thing when it came to accepting your stutter? If you could talk to a younger version of yourself who was struggling with accepting their stutter, what would you tell them? Thanks!
Hi Megan!
As far as I am concerned, the concept of “acceptance” is ambiguous and difficult to use with respect to my stuttering. But I understand what you are talking about.
I can tell you that for me what really made a difference is starting to see my stuttering as a possibility. Let me explain: I have met so many people and so many friends in the stuttering community; I have attended international events; I have traveled to new places; I have been part of seminars and workshops; I can take part in support groups every week.
And I feel privileged, because if I didn’t stutter I wouldn’t be able to do all these things. That’s why I tell you that I don’t “accept” my stuttering, but I live it as a possibility.
Hope this helps.
Andrea
Hi Megan
I’d like to say: find your people. It’s really hard to find stuttering pride, when the world around you is telling to that you’re not “normal”. People telling you to not be nervous or to take a deep breath, people telling you there is this quick fix, the media showing movies and documentaries where stuttering is funny or stupid and where someone who’s “cured” is a role model, teachers grading your speech instead of your knowledge, employers judging you, and even the person in the street who can’t wait for you to finish your sentence and that device or answering machine not understanding your words…
Did you see the connection? It’s people. People who know what stuttering is about. Who don’t judge you, see you for who you are and the skills you have, and who include solutions for people who stutter. I changed from pretending I was mute to not have to talk, to someone who’s a stuttering activist, thanks to people. People who told me I am good enough, that my voice (no matter how I speak) is ok to be heard, that I’m a great and intelligent person. People who see the person behind the stutter.
I can’t advice what helps for all, but some ideas are to find ways to express yourself. Through music, art etc. To focus on what you CAN do and what you love doing. To realize everyone has things they don’t like, that being fluent is no garantee for happiness, that stuttering is not who you are, and that you can be a good communicator, stuttering and all.
Meet others who stutter. There are conferences, support groups, camps, chats, groups, etc. There are role models who stutter, but who are successful, and even making a living thanks to their stutter. Follow f ex Nina G, Marc Winski, The organisation STAMMA often shows videos of people who stutter but who are doing their thing anyway.
In short: surround yourself with people who lift you up. And who help you find your voice, to speak up and say what you want to say, and also say what you want and don’t want other people to do or say. We need to claim our right to stutter and make stuttering normal. It’s just the way we speak.
About how to make a difference: use the ISAD and the international day of People with Disabilities, 3 Dec to raise awareness. Invite a PWS in the classroom to talk about stuttering. Get material on stuttering. And, maybe most important of all: educate teachers!! FORCE them to have broschures on stutter, to talk to the CWS and not assume things, and to know how to make adjustments and grade properly.
Keep them talking
Anita