Question
When working with older kids and teenagers who stutter, how do you tackle some of the shame or embarrassment they might feel about going to speech therapy?
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Hi
I would like to answer this question in a slightly broader context. Not just adolescents, but anyone who stutters might often express shame about people knowing that they go for therapy. There was once this adult with disfluencies who used to lock himself in a room and take online therapy sessions that no one was supposed to know about.
What usually helps me address this is an analogy combined with role reversal. Take an example of any condition that might be chronic, or a barrier to interaction. For instance if someone has very poor eyesight, and wearing thick glasses is their only option. Would you rather they keep asking you what’s the next word and denying that they need those spectacles, or would you prefer that they wore the spectacles, irrespective of how they look? Would you laugh at them for wearing the thick glasses or would you admire them for trying to overcome the barrier of poor eyesight?
Another way that might work is to counsel them about rational thinking- about their goal, and what is going to help them get to that goal. If, for instance, someone does judge you for taking therapy, thinking about them is not going to take you any closer to your goal. They need to be reminded that their goal on the priority list is to improve their speech, not impress every person that chooses to judge them for going to therapy.
The first example was more along the lines of cognitive therapy, the second one along the lines of rational emotive behavior therapy.
Which line of counseling works with whom is, of course, the discretion of the therapist based on the personality of every PWS.
Hope this helps!
Hello, this is a really important point to consider. If someone feels shame or embarrassment about going to therapy, that usually tells you something important about how that person feels about stuttering itself at that time. As Pallavi says, this isn’t just something relevant to older children and teenagers, anyone at any age might feel this way about therapy. I find it helpful to let the person know it’s their choice who they tell about coming to therapy, and how much they decide to share about what therapy means for them. They can be in control.
With children and young people I find that it can be helpful to get them to think about whether or not their friends might enjoy what we do in therapy sessions – the realisation that friends might almost be jealous that they get time out of school to come and play games and have crazy conversations about Harry Potter (or whatever their interest is) with me, while the poor friends are stuck doing cross country running in the rain at school can lead to a complete reverse in feelings about therapy! That may seem over-simplistic but sometimes looking for the positives in the situation is all someone needs. A solution focused style approach. I try hard to make sure that every client I work with finds value in therapy sessions, and changing focus to help them see this rather than focusing on the negatives associated with the stigma of ‘speech therapy for stuttering’ can be very beneficial to reducing negative emotions such as embarrassment and shame.
Thank you for your question!
Hi and thank you for your question. I’d love to add another thought into the mix here…
There is often an interesting dynamic relating to WHO has decided that a child or young person will ‘go to therapy’. Is it the young person themself who is seeking support? Is it the school who has decided that they need support? Is it a parent who is worried about the future or who sees their child struggling and chooses to send them to therapy. This dynamic is particularly relevant to this question as shame may well be exacerbated if it is someone ELSE who has made the decision. Although such decisions may be made with good intentions, a young person can then easily feel powerless or criticised if they are ‘forced into’ rather than ‘choosing’therapy. So, exploring the motivations of a young person, helping them to express and communicate their wishes, respecting and advocating for those wishes can be a powerful process in reducing shame associated with therapy. It’s ok to not want therapy!